This feisty lil Bitch has horns!

Tale of a Douchebag

2009-11-10T10:25:00.002+08:00

I've tried.
I'm tired.
I can't be bothered.

You know nothing.
Yet, You assume everything.

Now I know, I'm just another stupid young girl.

2007-12-14T16:22:00.000+08:00

It's been a long long time since I've updated. Pretty busy enriching my life for the past few weeks. Finally having a breather. So I went on a crazy shopping spree last night. Bought $777 worth of sportswear for myself, my mom and my sis. Love it!

I tend to have conversations with myself in my mind all the time. Some people call it mindfucking but I suspect I have a schizophrenic tendency. Anyway, I was just having yet another bitching session with my alter ego and this is how the conversation went.

Me: I can't believe it!

Alter-ego (named Esdee the Yee Veel Won): What?

Me: Ok, tell me - What is the meaning of being socially inept?

Esdee: Erm.. According to Cambridge Dictionaries Online, it means unskilled and ineffective in relating to activities in which you meet and spend time with other people.

Me: Oookay... What's anti-social?

Esdee: Are you a retard or what? Trying to irritate the hell outta me? According to Cambridge Dictionaries Online, people who are anti-social tend to avoid spending time with other people.

Me: I think I'm not anti-social but I'm socially inept. I don't mind spending time with my family and friends but I am damn uncomfortable meeting new people and often getting tongue-tied.

Esdee: Uh huh... So?

Me: Then what do you call someone who claims to be anti-social and socially inept and goes around telling everybody that BUT in fact has a wide social circle, tons of social activities packed each day, shamelessly flaunting the number of suitors and unbashfully using someone else as a stepping stone to widen own social circle?

Esdee: A hypocritical slut? Or a retard who simply doesn't recognise the simple Irony when faced with one? Or the world's greatest ignorant fool to have crossed you? I have 1001 choices in my word bank just to describe such anal asswipes. Wanna hear more?

Me: Er.. No thanks.

Sigh... I wish I've never known you, never befriended you, never liked you. That is why letting go is so difficult. I hope I'll never meet another like you again.

2007-11-21T01:08:00.000+08:00

Lets101 - Free Online Dating

Any takers? =D

2007-10-15T22:16:00.000+08:00

My Love Will Get You Home





If you wander off too far, my love will get you home.
If you follow the wrong star, my love will get you home.
If you ever find yourself, lost and all alone,
Get back on your feet and think of me, my love will get you home.
Boy, my love will get you home.

If the bright lights blind your eyes, my love will get you home.
If your troubles break your stride, my love will get you home.
If you ever find yourself, lost and all alone,
Get back on your feet and think of me, my love will get you home.
Boy, my love will get you home.

If you ever feel ashamed, my love will get you home.
When there is only you to blame, my love will get you home.
If you ever find yourself, lost and all alone,
Get back on your feet and think of me, my love will get you home.
Boy, my love will get you home.

If you ever find yourself, lost and all alone,
Get back on your feet and think of me, my love will get you home.
Boy, my love will get you home. 
Boy, my love will get you home. 
Boy, my love will get you home.

Hurts

2007-10-01T19:17:00.000+08:00

Sigh.. It hurts. I hurt. Hurts fuckin' bad.

If only I could tell someone about it. If I tell my sister bout it, she'll tell Momma. If Momma knows about it, she'd tell me "I told you so!". Then she'll probably demand to meet the man and give him a good talking to.

Friends. Too busy for me. I don't even think Bro bothers anymore.

So, there's basically noone I could turn to. The feeling of bottling everything inside sucks.

My love life is a BIG joke. I'm jealous of women who have tons of men drop dead at their feet with just a click of their fingers and go goo goo ga ga. I'm jealous of all those sluts whose favourite past time is to twirl good men around their pinkies and toy with their feelings.

Me? Life shoves the worst kind of men into my path, trying and testing to see how far I am from the brink of insanity. Apparently, it's not gonna be too far anytime now.

The poseurs, the beggars, the pimps, the lechers, the jokers, the quasimodos - you name it, I've got a taste of it.

I was brought up not to accept any favours or free treats from guys. Oh well, this is the most expensive lesson learnt. And I paid 100 dear buckeroos for it. Stupid stupid stupid me.

World Championships 2007

2007-09-04T20:11:00.000+08:00

Hey people! Sorry for not updating regularly. Been rather busy with work and training. Anyway, dropping by to inform y'all that I will be away at Jakarta, Indonesia as one of the delegates representing Singapore from the 6th to 9th September for the World Championships 2007. My flight's scheduled tomorrow night at 9.20pm and I will be back on Sunday night 10pm. Will be flying aboard Garuda Indonesia Airline. Do pray that I'll be safe and sound. Haha... Don't miss me too much!

Sheesh.. I have not even packed my luggage yet! So lazy.. Barf! Oh well, I think I'd better go pack my luggage now. Before I sign off, let me show you the injuries I've gotten over the past 2 weeks of training.

1) What: Bruise
Where: Left thigh.
Age: 5 days old
Origin: Stick flew out from my hand and towards my thigh.
Status: Not healed

Same bruise

2） What: Bruise (with swelling)
Where: On the right kneecap.
Age: 10 days old.
Origin: Unknown
Status: Not healed

3) What: Slight fracture (swelling and bruise)
Where: On the left shin, just right under the kneecap.
Age: 3 days old.
Origin: Stupid mistake made by Ronnie who withdrew the stick at the very last minute during the 2-men blocking drill. I've got nothing to block against, couldn't stop in time and the stick ended up whacking my shin at full force. BAM! In short, I fractured my own shin.
Status: Not healed
N.B: Picture not taken

4) What: Bruise (A lil redness)
Where: On the right forearm
Age: 3 days old.
Origin: From being a dummy for the newbies during the practise of disarming.
Status: Not healed

5) What: Swelling
Where: Right middle finger
Age: 6 days old.
Origin: Given by Sigmund, the taekwando kid, whom I was assigned to 'coach' during the demo workshop. Instructed to give the 1st strike, he delivered it hard and fast before I finished speaking.
Status: Not healed
N.B: Picture not taken

6) What: A lil blue-black
Where: Both thumbnails
Age: 3 days old.
Origin: Given by the same Ronnie who made the stupid mistake and also by Mr. Lee.
Status: Healed
N.B: Picture not taken

7) What: Soreness and a lil pain
Where: Lower back
Age: 2 weeks old.
Origin: Raphael gave me a lil extra help when we were doing stretching for tournament training. Think we overdid it.
Status: Not healed
N.B: Picture not taken

8) What: Swelling
Where: Right cheekbone
Age: 5 days old.
Origin: Richard gave it to me when doing the 2-men blocking drill.
Status: Healed
N.B: Picture not taken

9) What: Bruise (With a lil swelling)
Where: Left forearm
Age: 5 days old.
Origin: Ron gave it to me when delivering the 13th strike and I'm doing the block (pyong).
Status: Healed
N.B: Picture not taken

On top of all those injuries, Mom just had to remind me that I still have my child-bearing duties to fulfil. Haha... My mom's the best lah. Though she nags, she never fails to rub my bruises for me. Love ya, Momma! *muacks*

2007-07-28T22:04:00.000+08:00

I don't really wanna pen this down. Yet, if I don't, then you'll never know. And then, I'll never be able to get over it.

I've always thought I had grown up. That I would never feel like that again. Yet, the green-eyed monster resurfaced within me last week, causing me to morph into a sulky spoilt brat. The last time I had seen that monster was in early January last year. It resulted in an ugly dispute with some of us raising our voices and some of us hurling hurtful accusations at each other like knives slicing through the hearts and some of us. That also ended with me falling out with the others as the friendship, the bond we once shared snapped like a taut rubber band. (Aaaahh... Yes, I tend to dramatise what happened. Bah!)

Yeah, it all felt too similar last Sunday. That strong sour taste of jealousy and hurt was so damn overwhelming. Probably I was making a mountain out of a molehill. Maybe I'm an unreasonable and overly-sensitive freak. Didn't you notice that I was suddenly withdrawn? Didn't you know you've crossed a boundary?

I was so fuckin pissed that everyone kept commenting about how sleepy I was when in fact I was trying so damn hard to act nonchalant. Sheesh, I don't know how to tell you there and then how I really felt without making myself sound shallow, childish and unreasonable. Believe me when I say I seriously tried my best to convince myself that it was no big deal and I was acting like a dumb moron. Yes, I did try to rationalise with myself. After all, it was I who invited you along.

I failed.

There was this role reversal. It's like you've become part of the team and I was the friend instead. I felt so left out while you were there integrating yourself so comfortably with my team. I think for once, you've clean forgotten that I exist. I really felt like leaving right there and then. The urge to quit the team was so strong. I don't know. Did it ever matter to you how I feel?

Perhaps I'm a wuss 'cos all I ever know is to sit around, mope and feel sorry for myself instead of actually doing something to make my presence known, otherwise known as to 'vie for attention' as some may blatantly put it.

And so to simply put it: It's a situation whereby Friend A is on close terms with Friend B and C but the latter 2 are not familiar with each other. Thus, Friend A introduces Friend B to Friend C and does her best to make Friend B comfortable around Friend C. Her attempt was too successful that Friend B became too good chums with Friend C that Friend A was alienated.

You get the drift, don't you? Oh well, it's a girl thing.

So what happened in the end?

I kept my mouth shut and channeled my anger towards ramming my fist into the wall repeatedly. I refused to speak to anyone then for fear of spouting something spiteful. I ignored my coach and the other team mates completely despite their attempts to set things right.

Nobody owes me anything.

I'm sorry.

Dancing with the Devil

2007-07-20T14:35:00.000+08:00

Dancing with the Devil

It was a cold night.

She lit a fire.
The dance of bright red flames attracted a curious moth.
They intrigued him.

He came.
He bowed and offered his hand.
She took it.

He enveloped her freezing frame in his delicious warmth.
She closed her unseeing eyes.
He swept her onto the moonlit ground.
Their bodies swayed together to the trance-like tune.

The moth danced nearer to the alluring fire.
Mesmerised by its exuberant vigour.
Deaf to the hiss and crackle by angry red tongues of flames.

He spoke with charm.
Of the many wonders she could experience.
If only she would.

To belong, to be wanted, to be loved.
All these she could receive.
If only she would.

Sweet promises to fulfil her desires.
Luring dreams of all that she could be.
If only she would.

Dark whispers of temptation swirled around.
Like the smouldering flames beneath his hungry eyes.
Sending thrills and shivers of excitement through her.

Bewitched by the burning fiery ball.
The moth dived right into the angry red tongues of flames.
Devoured amidst the hiss and crackle.

She opened her unseeing eyes.
Not understanding why he chose her.
Uncertain if she would.

Laughter rumbled low in his throat.
He gave her one last twirl.
He swore he would return to claim her.
Before he let her go.

The music ceased.
The dance stopped.
The clouds engulfed the moon.

She blinked.
He vanished.
All was still.

The night was cold.

2007-07-10T17:21:00.000+08:00

Sheesh... It's been a while since I last blogged. So much so that I actually forgotten that I had to log in with my gmail account and not my blogger.com userid. Shucks! I must be getting real old.

Anyway, I've been thinking bout getting my very first tattoo these few days after seeing Munster's new tattoo. It was pretty damn good workmanship (so good that I've never entertained the thought of getting tattooed until I saw his work of art on dear Munster) and the tattoo artist seems like a pretty nice guy too (and he wasn't covered in tattoos like what most of us would assume).

Ok, before you start scrambling to persuade/dissuade me from getting a tattoo, I've got a few points to make. I've already given it some thought. So don't worry! I'm not getting a tattoo on impulse.

Pros:

The tattoo design will be a simple one, most probably a celtic symbol. Something symbolic and meaningful, nothing too beng/lian/girly/kiddy/manly/colourful/big/flowery.

It'll be like expressing my individuality, akin to getting a permanent henna tattoo!

It'll be small and I'll put it somewhere inconspicuous like on the neck or shoulder blade.

Cons:

My mom may freak out - shocked, outraged, disown me. (90% possibility)

Employers may mind greatly. (85% possibility)

I'm scared of the pain. (Yes, I know I'm such a wuss.)

I'm discouraged from suntanning and swimming for at least 2 weeks. (I can't do without either.)

It's pretty expensive to get inked. (over 100 bucks)

My future boyfriend/spouse/his parents may mind. (50% possibility)

It may spoil the pretty wedding picture and look out of place when I wear my wedding dress in the future.

What am I gonna tell my kids in the future? (I wouldn't approve of my children getting inked unless they can think like what I am doing now.)

It's for life.

Oh well, do you think I should still go ahead and get a tattoo? I know I'm still not ready to get one yet. Geez...

Please take note

2007-05-25T19:51:00.000+08:00

Brisbane Brisbane

Here I come !!!

Yes. Yours truly will be away in OZ Land from the 26th May to 10th June. So don't miss me too much. If you do miss me and really have this urge to contact me, feel free to drop me a message in the tagboard. For those who have urgent and important news (regarding school stuffs or even events happening at home) please reach me via my MSN, email address and mobile numbers. My mobile phones should be switched on most of the time (unless it is extremely important AND urgent, please refrain from calling me after SGT 9pm). I will check my blog and email address as often as I can. Will also try to blog from Australia if I can.

Will miss all of you loads. Then again, I may be having too much fun over there to even remember your existence. Hah!

Just had a haircut this morning and I'm off to do my nails tomorrow before flying off. Speaking of which, Momma have kinda gotten almost the whole family together to send my sister and I off at the airport. Geez, an entire entourage. Machiam going overseas for study or migrating there.

Love y'all! Muacks!

Take good care of yourselves too my dear girlies. We still have loads of stuffs to do together when I come back!

Alrighty! Another 24 more hours. I really needa find the motivation to finish packing my luggage by tonight! Er... Actually, I have already laid out the things I wanna bring over, I just have not put them into the suitcases yet. So lazy. Bleah!

*****

LIBRA - The Partner for Life
Caring and kind. Smart.
Center of attention. High appeal.
Has the last word. Good to find, hard to keep.
Fun to be around.
Extremely weird but in a good way.
Good Sense of Humor!!!
Thoughtful. Always gets what he or she wants.
Loves to joke. Very popular.
Silly, fun and sweet.
5 years of bad luck if you do not repost.

SCORPIO - Aggressive.
Loves being in long relationships.
Likes to give a good fight for what they want.
Extremely outgoing.
Loves to help people in times of need.
Good kisser. Good personality. Stubborn.
A caring person. One of a kind.
Not one to mess with.
Are the most attractive people on earth!
15 years of bad luck if you do not repost.

Plain superstitions again. But it's so true lah!

Self-made quiz

2007-05-23T23:58:00.000+08:00

Create your own Friend Test here

Oh sheesh... In approximately another 69 hours, I'll be flying off to OZ Land and I have yet to pack my luggage.

That a true Procrastinator for you.

Current earworms...

2007-05-21T22:33:00.000+08:00

My current earworms...

Pussycat Dolls - Beep

It's funny how a man only thinks about the... (tits)
You got a real big heart, but I'm looking your... (tits)
You got real big brains, but I'm looking at your... (tits)
Girl, there ain't no pain in me looking at your... (tits)

I don't give a... (shit)
Keep looking at my... (tits)
'Cause it don't mean a thing if you're looking at my... (tits)
I'm a do my thing while you're playing with your... (dick)
Ha, ha-ha, ha-ha, ha-ha

This song totally rocks my ~~tits~~ world!

*****

Timbaland - Give It To Me (feat. J. Timberlake & N. Furtado)

If "sexy" never left, then why is everybody on my shit?

Uh huh uh huh! You, you, you, you and you are on my shit list. =D

*****

Lene Nystrom - It's Your Duty (To Shake That Booty)

Ooh, it's your duty duty
To shake that booty booty
Small, fat or round or juicy
You are what they desire
Ooh, it's your duty duty
To shake that booty booty
So what you waiting for
You are what they desire
Shake it shake it shake it shake it
You are what they desire

So totally hot! I'm shaking mine already, are you?

*****

Melanie B - Tell Me

Pink - 4 In The Morning

Sarai - Ladies

Like what the teenagers like to say now.

Shake it, Momma! Shake it!

Holiday plans

2007-05-09T10:20:00.000+08:00

Things to do for the Holidays:

1. Catch a movie (maybe two or three or more - Spiderman 3, Ocean's 13, Harry Potter, etc.)

2. Working out (which includes gym, swimming, kickboxing and focusing on my training)

3. Baking and cooking up a storm

4. Shopping, shopping and more shopping (both in Singapore and Australia)

5. Sleepovers and outings/gatherings (meals and drinking sessions, probably a lil clubbing too)

6. Spa appointments (I miss Aunty Esther!)

7. Get a manicure, haircut, new spectacles, etc.

8. Relax and have fun in Australia (Yes! 2 whole weeks of pure enjoyment)

9. Spend quality time with family and friends

Er... That's all I can think of for now. Will add on to the list if there's anymore.

*****

SCORPIO - The Addict

EXTREMELY adorable. Intelligent. Loves
to joke. Very Good sense of humor.
Energetic. Predict future. GREAT
kisser. Always get what they want.
Attractive. Easy going. Loves being in
long relationships. Talkative.
Romantic. Caring. 4 years of bad luck
if you do not forward.

LIBRA - The Lame One

Nice to everyone they meet. Their Love
is one of a kind. Silly, fun and
sweet. Have own unique appeal. Most
caring person you will ever meet!
However not the kind of person you
wanna mess with ... you might end up
crying... 9 years of bad luck if you
do not forward.

I'm just plain superstitious ok?!

Oh Oh! I've received my swee swee chio chio UOB mini visa debit card! So exciting. Well, ok, maybe it isn't that swee and chio afterall.

So would anyone like to sponsor me with a supplementary card?

*****

Mother's Day is on the 13th May this year. I'm treating Momma to a spa package consisting of a facial and massage. Though Momma doesn't say it out directly, I know she's very pleased. I love my Mom! =)

So, what have you planned for your Mom on Mother's Day?

2007-05-07T13:29:00.000+08:00

Since I haven't got the time to blog properly, let me keep this site updated by posting results of online quizzes. Bleah!

Bzbee

2007-05-04T13:40:00.000+08:00

Your VisualDNA™
Here's what your choices might mean about you

Starting with your style, you like to keep things low-key, opting for comfort over fashion. You like a warm and approachable look, cluttered not minimal. You go for softer textures and a warm palette.

You get your kicks from living life fast, with plenty of laughs. You've got a great attitude, a mischievous side and infectious giggle... life for you is never dull.

Never one to sit in the slow lane, you live life at full pelt - sometimes racing to experience more.

Your hot spot is the bedroom and an ideal date would be a romantic picnic there. Better still: a fancy suite, order room service and let the staff know you are not to be disturbed.

Lazing in the warm sun and the glamor of being waited on hand and foot is your idea of a good time. Sun loungers and fruit cocktails by the pool - just heaven.

So... the way to your heart is through your sweet tooth. You like to stock up on lollies - after all chocolate is the food of love.

To impress, your date should come up with a kooky idea that will light up your mind... You're game, and willing to try most things... once.

When extra time appears, you will spend it getting a little closer for some comfort. You have a hands on approach to getting your feelings across!

Read my VisualDNA™ Get your own VisualDNA™

Sorry people, I've been extremely busy lately.

So busy that I have not had the time to enjoy doing things I like.

So stressed that I have been eating non-stop and thus, gaining weight.

Life has been hell.

But I can almost see the light at the end of the tunnel. Woohooo!!!

stupidity

2007-03-09T20:45:00.000+08:00

I woke up this morning, all ready to start a brand new day, looking forward to school, when my right eye felt a lil weird. So, I went to look at myself in the mirror and to my horror...

.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.

with flash, my eye looked like that...

Oh yeah! My right eye puffed up like that of a goldfish's/ET's.

without flash, my eye looked like this..

closed my eye..

Scary... Half my vision was blocked in the right eye and I had difficulty opening up my eye. At first, my momma and I thought that it was an eye infection and so decided that it wasn't safe for me to go to school. So I went back to sleep.

When I awoke, my left eye felt weird too! OMFG! Both my eyelids had swelled up like cream puffs. I am officially a goldfish. Then it occured to me that the last time such a thing happened to me was because of a drug allergy after taking a jab which actually was to bring down my temperature then. Anyway, momma urged me to go consult the doctor. So off I went to see the handsome doc.

So the dear doctor confirmed that the cause of my swollen eyelids was due to the same drug allergy although caused by different medication. (Last night, I self-medicated by taking some of my sister's painkillers for fever.) Ha! I felt so dumb!

So yeah. I am allergic to all drugs under the NSAID group except Nidol. Doc offered to give me a jab and some other pills to bring down the swelling but I didn't want to. I rather do it the natural way - drink more fluids and flush it out through my system. Hence, my eyelids are still a lil puffy now.

Argh! Regretted self-medicating last night 'cos it was a damn beautiful day today for swimming and I can't really go without being able to see clearly. *pouts*

And everyone (momma & aunts & gramps) made fun of my goldfish eyes. Bleah!

*****

Yups! This was the wedding poster I did for my aunt and uncle-in-law for their wedding. All hand-drawn and coloured. 100% manual work, nothing digital. Had it framed up too.

Heh... I'm good with my hands, in more ways than one. *winks*

Laziness sets in

2007-03-06T08:23:00.000+08:00

And so laziness set in...

I so apologise for the lack of updates in the past month. Well, my timetable has been pretty much jammed-packed for the past couple of weeks and will continue to be quite hectic in the upcoming month.

So February had been pretty much a month for festivities and pigging out. Wanna wish everyone a belated Hap(pig) Lunar New Year. I actually shopped for my new year clothes and shoes on the Eve of the New Year itself. Spent a grand total of $610 on 5 tops, 4 bottoms, 3 pairs of heels and pedicure+manicure session all at Holland Village. That aside, I can't believe I went crazy during those 15 days of the Lunar New Year, gorging on the goodies like some swine. Goodness! The bak kwa, the eggrolls, kueh bulu, pineapple tarts, roast duck, roast chicken, roast pork, sweet soup, seafood soup, etc. Yeah, I did put on back quite a lot of pounds after all those feasting. *pulls my hair out*

And then there was this assignments deadline to meet on the same week of the Lunar New Year holidays. It was pure madness for me, having less than 2 hours of sleep then. Ended up being high like a junkie, whistling and chirping with the birds outside the window after submitting my assignments. Heh! K and E would know.

Nearing the end of February, I had to help my aunt with some of her wedding stuffs. These duties include - designing a wedding poster, getting the guestbook and pens ready and doing reception work at the wedding dinner. Well, being the very efficient me, I managed to design, complete and frame up the wedding poster in 2 days! Rushed off to get the guestbook and pens just 3 hours before having to be present at the restaurant at 6pm.

Got to the restaurant and realised that things weren't ready yet! Took charge of the situation, bossing the waitresses around, telling one of them off for bad service, blah blah blah. Ok, so I got to feast once again that night. And then, feasted again the night after at some vegetarian restaurant. And then again at the wedding lunch buffet the next afternoon. This is bad! I have yet to work off my Lunar New Year's feast, I've piled on another 3 layers of fats. *depressed*

Now I'm contemplating bout liposuction, tummytrim, etc. NAH! I'm kidding lah! The best way to lose those pounds around my tummy area is to watch my diet and exercise! Less food, more exercise - greater output than input! *roars*

a happy day

2007-02-04T19:38:00.000+08:00

I is happy! I is very happy today! Hahaha...

Finally managed to drag my arse out of bed early on a Sunday morning to training after 3 weeks. The moment I reached the training venue, I was showered with compliments from my seniors! Hahaha... Maybe they all had honey for breakfast.

Mr. Lee, Fu and Faisal commented that I've lost weight and became much slimmer and fitter, and look sexier and prettier. Then Fu said I wouldn't have problems getting dates on Valentine's Day 'cos there would be a long line of suitors. Faisal then remarked that Fu is single and available. I was so embarrassed by their words probably I'm not used to receiving compliments about my physical self. But I seriously think they are exaggerating and I said that. But they seemed serious. Oh well, maybe I did look fitter and slimmer after all those swimming. Hehe...

But still, I don't have a line of suitors queueing all the way to Johor Bahru. And also still no Valentines. Bleah!

Then while brushing up on our techniques, my instructor suddenly said I look so cute. HUH?! Like wtf?! I'm not some kinda cartoon character. I'm supposed to look lethal while executing my martial arts, not cute! GRRRrr! Then I found out from Marcus that he made that comment because I was smiling all the while during the practice. Oooh..

So I made some funny faces and pretended to look fierce while executing my moves but it sent Marcus into a ball of laughter 'cos he said I look like I'm suffering from constipation. -.-"

Fine.

*****

On Wednesday afternoon after classes, I went for my swim at the pool. To my surprise, the lifeguard, Rozie, treated me to a bottle of Coca-Cola! Haahaa.. So sweet of her. But I had to swim an extra 5 laps because of that. Then later I found out it's because I remind her so much of her own 18 year old daughter. She also said I've slimmed down a lot since the first time she saw me. Umm.. I wonder when she started noticing me. Hiak hiak hiak!

Actually, the lifeguards at JE swimming complex are pretty friendly. I like them. Haha.. Maybe 'cos they always talk to me and treat me as one of their own. Lalalala...

OK lah, whatever the case, training and swimming made me euphoric today. Oh yar, I need to get my Chinese New Year shopping done soon! Munster!!! Shopping shopping? =D

P.S.: I think I may just like you a itsy bitsy teensy weensy lil bit, Mr. L T. *blushes*

sick again...

2007-01-30T14:11:00.000+08:00

Let's see if we're on the same wavelength if you can get this joke.

Don't forget to get your twangers out and play with your balls today!

*****

My ears are blocked.

My nose is stuffed.

My head seems heavy.

My throat is itchy.

Feels like someone just inserted a balloon through my mouth, into my skull and inflated it with air such that the sides of the balloon presses against my eardrums, nostrils and forehead.

Yes. I am sick again.

I seriously suspect that someone cast a voodoo spell on me. Whoever that idiot is, it's not funny! Nothing is going right in my life at this point of time.

*****

"What makes you think you are so unattractive?"

I have absolute confidence in my abilities and everything else but my physical self.

I hate the way I look. I want to be beautiful so that I will be loved.

I hate the way I act sometimes. I want to be invincible so that nothing and noone can bring me down.

I need to learn to love myself.

I need to learn to respect myself.

I need to have a higher self-esteem.

And most importantly, I need to stop myself from repeatedly digging my own grave, from getting out of one bottomless pit and falling into another.

Going to take a nap now. Seeing the handsome doctor later. Hiak hiak hiak hiak hiak!

Toodles.

the thursday i got wasted

2007-01-28T23:47:00.000+08:00

I've never gotten so wasted in my 21 years of existence.

Went swimming and kickboxing with Munster as usual. After which, we went looking at some cosmetic jewellery and Munster bought a very pretty ring and a pair of candy-sweet earrings while I bought a pair of elegant moonstone earrings. Then we were off to the McDonalds at King Albert's Park to meet Munster's friend.

At around 7 plus in the evening, we went to Holland Village for dinner. Decided to try out the food at Hog's Breath Cafe which originates from Australia. Ordered some fingerfoods and chicken caesar wrap. The food was really good and we just stuffed ourselves with the food as we talked. The service was excellent too! Free flow of iced water, very hospitable staff and I even got a complimentary Hog's Breath Cafe coaster! Hog's Breath Cafe is a superb place to eat because it's got various discounts for various card holders. Munster and I only had to pay $15 each when the bill came. All in all, I give this place 2 thumbs-up 'cos I've only got 2 thumbs. Haha...

Near the entrance and my shoulder

A cosy cubicle of 6 to 8 seaters

My complimentary coaster!

Calamari rings, baked potato skins, buffalo wings and BBQ chicken wings with yummy dips!

Chicken Caesar Wrap with very appetizing salad and curly fries.

I have been feeling kinda down for a period of time and decided to drown my sorrows in alcohol that night. So I kinda pestered Munster to bring me to drink and we walked to Siam Reap after dinner at Hog's Breath Cafe. We ordered 3 pints of erdinger for me and just iced water for Munster 'cos she had drank quite a lot of alcohol the night before.

After the first pint, I was feeling kinda high already. Went to take a piss and then the 2nd pint was ready for consumption. By the time I downed the 2nd pint, my face was bloody flushed and I was feeling light-headed already. Had difficulty finishing the 3rd pint but still managed to do it. Was sobbing my heart out by then, and all I could remember was Munster gently stroking my hair and telling the bartenders that I was fine.

Throughout the whole time, I can only remember doing a few things. Staggering a lil during toilet trips, answering my mom's phone call and trying my darnest not to slurr, rejecting a hug from a bartender, sobbing and SMS-ing loads of rubbish.

A lil while after finishing all the drinks, I was feeling queasy and I knew I had to make it to the toilet fast. Stumbled a lil from getting off the seat and excused myself, then tried very hard to walk straight to the toilet. Took off my pants, sat on the toilet bowl and pissed. Then, it happened. I puked.

I puked into the sink. (The toilet bowl was occupied by my ass lah. Hahaha...) I puked and puked and puked till the whole sink was flooded. Gross! Then I turned on the tap and let the water run, washed my hands, mouth and face. I just sat on the toilet bowl and stoned after that. Munster knocked urgently and repeatedly on the door, asking me if I was OK to which I replied I was fine.

Came out from the toilet after wearing my pants back on. Munster held me firmly by the arm and led me back to the seat. Don't remember what I did but had another urge to puke again. Excused myself again and made it to the toilet just in time to squat down and puke into the toilet bowl.

I puked and puked. Just squat there stoning, oblivious to what was happening around me. Realised that puking when drunk was not as bad as puking when sick 'cos the vomit just came out damn easily. Again, was led back to the seat by Munster. Couldn't quite remember what happened then until Munster told me the next day. Seemed like I couldn't keep my head up and Munster wanted to send me home but I was babbling like a fool 'bout not wanting to go home and all. Luckily I am a quiet drunk - don't make a lot of noise or funny actions when I'm drunk. Thank goodness for that last shred of diginity. She gave in to my babbles and pleas by staying till it was closing time and we really had to go.

Munster supported me firmly by the arm and we walked to hail a cab. I was having difficulty walking straight but I tried very hard to. I wasn't about to buckle and make myself look more foolish than I already had. Got into a cab and I took out a plastic bag despite almost half-gone. Wasn't going to puke into the cab, wasn't going to puke out of the window while the cab was moving. Then the last thing I remembered before drifting off was holding very tightly to my plastic bag.

Then Munster nudged me awake to ask me about the exact location of my place. I replied and soon I was home. Puked four times into the plastic bag when I was at the void deck. Made it home in one piece, carrying a plastic bag half-full with vomit. Hahaha... Went to the rubbish chute and threw it away. Washed my face, rinsed my mouth and tumbled into bed immediately. The moment I hit the pillows, I passed out.

Didn't even know what time I reached home that night but I awoke at 5.51am, feeling very sober and stupid.

Whoever got drunk over 3 pints (1.5litres) of erdinger?! Me.

My first time getting wasted. Definitely very memorable.

*****

Went to NUS the next day for dinner with Munster and Melvin. After which I went for desserts with Munster at Munchie Monkey's. They were having some sort of Art Fest and a lil performance was held on the small platform there.

The performance at Munchie Monkey's.

We ordered Chocolate Brownie and Apple Cobbler. Yummy! Then we left and went to explore Munster's room at the hall. Haha... She's got a very nice cosy room which I think seemed bigger than my Brudda's. Then I went over to my Brudda's room at Sheares Hall for a while to do a bit of catching up. I think I was still feeling the hangover 'cos I was pretty quiet and suddenly had difficulty holding back my tears. Luckily, it was almost time to go home and I let my tears fall freely on the way home in the cab.

*****

Went to Gramps' today. Was feeling bored, so I took some shots of my thunder thighs while lying down on my aunt's bed.

Sorry for the dark pictures and thanks for bearing with the long post. =)

P.S: Sorry Mommy, for making you so worried that night. I didn't mean to abuse myself that way, but I'm just unhappy with myself. I don't like me. I will get my life back on track, I promise. =(

P.P.S: Thank you, Munster dearie. Thanks for taking care of me and for being there for me when I was down. *hugs*

untitled 2

2007-01-24T22:07:00.000+08:00

Mom bought me two red cotton panties yesterday. The shade of red is to my liking but not the design of the panties! They are Grandmama panties! Eeeewww... She didn't get me any new PJs for the Lunar New Year, so I'll go get some sexy lingerie myself. =D

Yesterday I went swimming at a friend's condominium. There was a slight drizzle but I still managed 40 laps there in 50minutes. I thought it was a pretty good timing but she said I was too slow. But I was damn shagged after that. Then, I still went for training on the same evening 'cos my instructor said the team missed me. *blushes*

Training was damn intensive last night. For part of the warm up exercises, we did 75 push-ups instead of the usual 50, 100 crunches and 50 leg raises. (Not to mention I did another 21 laps at the competitive pool just now in the afternoon.) No wonder my arms are falling off and my legs feel like steel lead now. I so badly need a good massage now that I'm willing to give free kisses in exchange. Any takers?

*****

Anyway, after training last night, while in the bus on the way home, my instructor dropped a bomb on me. Last Sunday, there was a pair of Indonesia-based martial arts practitioners who were in town. They invited our team to take part in some tournament (some sort of World Championships, I think) which will be held in September.

So yeah, Sir said he will be entering me in the tournament women's since I'm the only female in the team and I've got the potential. He wanted me to get some exposure and warned me that the usual training and training for competition are totally two different things. Like, DUH! It's breath-taking enough just thinking about the immense pressure! I was listening with my jaws wide opened, expecting to hear the usual 'I was just kidding with you' part which never fails to come from the guys whenever they tease me 'bout entering me in some competitions. But he never said that, which means that he is dead serious this time round. *smacks my forehead*

And so in order to get me ready for the September tournament, Sir has decided to bring me and a selected few over to the headquarters/training school in Philippines some time in June where I will train on the beach by the sea with 4 female World Championships winners and Sir's brother for a week. Aiyo, it's like some boot camp ok. So scary... *frowns* I would also have to watch what I eat and go on a strict diet and workout routine from now on. Shucks!

But ah, Mommy seems to have objections about me going to Philippines 'cos she thinks it's unstable and unsafe there, and it's too dangerous for a lone female to be in an unfamiliar terrirtory, not to mention the rigourous training which I will have to undergo. I've already sustained a few injuries, one of which I'm still recovering from but will take another 3 to 9 months to heal completely. =(

When I first joined this martial arts team, it was out of pure interest, passion and the need to keep fit. Never did I imagine I may have the chance to represent Singapore in this form of martial arts. If only Singapore recognises this form of Filippino martial arts, our team would be part of Team Singapore and it would be easier for me to take leave and have them granted should I need to go overseas for training or competitions. Hehe...

*****

I give up.
I'm tired of not having my feelings reciprocated.
Won't confess, won't wait, won't hope.
Won't put myself through such shit.
You just ain't worth it.
Don't worry.
I won't bother you anymore from today onwards.

Another chapter of my life closed.

At least I have that much dignity left.

gosh

2007-01-21T20:29:00.000+08:00

"What's so attractive about you?"

Was the first thing that came to my mind when I was browsing through Friendster, looking at the recent photos of my ex-crushes. Shit lah! My friends and family really weren't kidding when they say my taste in men sucks.

Hahaha... *smacks my forehead*

I'm thinking - since I've got a few guys I'm pretty much attracted to currently, I might be wondering about the same question in the near future. Muahahaha!!! I'm hopeless... *groans*

*****

This year, I've seemed to have lost the drive and motivation to do what's needed to be done. All I can think of is to have fun. In layman terms, I just want to play but I don't want to work! This is disastrous!!!

Wah kao! What is wrong with me?! First, it's the bimbotic boys issue. Then, it's being bitten by the lazy worms issue. Maybe someone cast a spell upon me using black magic. Good heavens!

*****

Disease and illness are apparently transmittable over MSN. I'm having backache as well after Munster told me over MSN that she has backache. But I think my backache might have stem from bad postures and perhaps too much vigorous ~~bed~~ activity. *coughs*

Anyway, hope my period stops by tomorrow so that I can resume my swimming.

Supper at Holland V

2007-01-20T02:07:00.000+08:00

Today I saw this at the window outside the Physics Laboratory in school.

It's a leaf...

It's a big leaf with twigs at its side..

The 'leaf' walks! It's alive!

It's not a leaf, silly!

It's a leaf insect! OMFG!

Yeah! This creature actually caused quite a sensation within our tutorial group. Everyone, including my tutor, either took pictures of it or videotaped it with their camera phones. Haha... I was asking my friend if she knows whether the leaf insect flies because I wanna pick it up on my hand. I have a phobia of flying insects. EEEeeks!

Well... We tested out our hypothesis and realised that leaf insects do have wings and can fly but only for very short distances. My friends think the leaf insect is "disgusting" with a very "disgusting" body and "disgusting" legs. I thought it was quite fascinating instead. Not only is its body camouflaged like a leaf, its legs can also be mistaken as a leaf stalk or a twig. Amazing, isn't it?!

So anyway, I touched it and the leaf-like wings are quite soft like a butterfly's wings. It also has an extra pair of translucent wings beneathe the leaf-like cover. The way it crawls reminds me of how a tarantula moves. I tried to get it to climb onto my hand but I think it doesn't like the smell of my hand 'cos everytime it lifted up its legs and was about to climb onto my hand, it seemed to have second thoughts and turned the other way instead. =(

*****

So anyway, I didn't want to be home on a Friday night since I could wake up late on a Saturday morning. Kinda pestered Munster to come out and hang. In the end, we decided to go to Holland Village and have supper. I reached Holland V first and was walking around when I saw some street performance.

WOW! Can you do that?!

Don't piss me off or I'll make you stay still in this position for two hours!

The performance ended pretty quick so I was back to walking around the area, hoping nobody thinks that I'm some pinoy hooker and come up quoting me a price or something. Luckily, I saw a little dog nearby with her owners. So I played with the dog for a while and talked to her owners too. Friendly dog, friendly owners.

Then Munster and Melvin arrived. We had some sliced fish horfun and seaweed soup with sliced fish. Yum yum! Spending time with these two chases my blues away! =D

Then we adjourned to Coffee Bean for somemore crazy talk time and cakes. I had Mudpie!!! So sinful but I simply cannot resist dark chocolates! I know, I know I've got to watch my weight. *frowns*

Anyway, we had a good time laughing and talking while I tried to battle with my splitting headache. Stayed there all the way till closing time which was around 1am, then we parted to go home.

I've got a very strong urge to go Kbox tomorrow evening. Hehe...

*****

I think there is something wrong with my stomach. Been having gastric and tummy upsets the past few days. Mommy suggested I go see the doctor and get a thorough checkup. Don't want to 'cos I'm afraid that there may be bad news. What I don't know doesn't exist.

*****

On a sidenote, I feel like I'm being twirled around the finger, being played like a fool. And I don't like it one bit. I don't wanna feel like I'm throwing myself at you. Neither do I wanna portray myself as some sexually-deprived, desperate whore.

Maybe it's high time I add you to my Ignore list.

emotional wreck

2007-01-18T23:07:00.000+08:00

Karma is a bitch that bites back hard in your face. I've been an emotional wreck today. Maybe it's because of the hormones. Or maybe it's just the buried memories being forcefully dug up like ripping open an old wound.

However do you expect me to forgive someone who just walked out from your life more than 2 years ago without a word?

Not to mention that someone has shared many intimate moments with you.

After all these years, you've finally decided to make an appearance again by sending me an SMS early in the morning. You wanted back in my life just like that?!

Ridiculous!

How could you act as if nothing has happened, that your then sudden departure was no big deal, and expect us to be able to pick up from where we left off?

I can't.

You can't and shldn't blame me for the icy-ness and hostility towards you. I see no point in keeping any further contact with you. I've moved on with my life, you should to.

Yeah... I'm no longer that 18 year old Stephanie Dara which you once knew, kissed and held in your arms. But you still managed to rile up 1001 emotions within me with just a few SMSes. Totally spoilt my day, ruined my mood.

My last SMS to you today was short and sweet - Go to Hell.

And I meant it.

*****

How do I stop myself from falling into one pit after another?!

Cried twice today - once in the studio and another while taking a hot shower. In the studio, only 2 fat tears rolled down my cheeks. But when the hot water stung my skin, the tears ran free. Cried long and hard.

Now my head hurts but at least I'm feeling a lil better.

*****

I've got a lot on my mind now, but none of the thoughts is making any sense to me. Can't seem to grasp what I am thinking and put it down in words. So I'll end off here for now.

Toodles.

like a moth to a flame

2007-01-15T00:09:00.000+08:00

I need to stop checking my mobile phone for your SMSes every few minutes.

I need to stop looking at the MSN Messenger contact list now and then just to see if you are online.

I need to stop thinking about you.

You, yes you.
Please fuckin' stay out of my head.

I must wean myself off you.

Like a moth to a flame...

The Spider and The Fly
"Will you walk into my parlor?" said the spider to the fly;
"'Tis the prettiest little parlor that ever you may spy.
The way into my parlor is up a winding stair,
And I have many curious things to show when you are there."
"Oh no, no," said the little fly; "to ask me is in vain,
For who goes up your winding stair can ne'er come down again."

"I'm sure you must be weary, dear, with soaring up so high.
Well you rest upon my little bed?" said the spider to the fly.
"There are pretty curtains drawn around; the sheets are fine and thin,
And if you like to rest a while, I'll snugly tuck you in!"
"Oh no, no," said the little fly, "for I've often heard it said,
They never, never wake again who sleep upon your bed!"

Said the cunning spider to the fly: "Dear friend, what can I do
To prove the warm affection I've always felt for you?
I have within my pantry good store of all that's nice;
I'm sure you're very welcome - will you please to take a slice?
"Oh no, no," said the little fly; "kind sir, that cannot be:
I've heard what's in your pantry, and I do not wish to see!"

"Sweet creature!" said the spider, "you're witty and you're wise;
How handsome are your gauzy wings; how brilliant are your eyes!
I have a little looking-glass upon my parlor shelf;
If you'd step in one moment, dear, you shall behold yourself."
"I thank you, gentle sir," she said, "for what you're pleased to say,
And, bidding you good morning now, I'll call another day."

The spider turned him round about, and went into his den,
For well he knew the silly fly would soon come back again:
So he wove a subtle web in a little corner sly,
And set his table ready to dine upon the fly;
Then came out to his door again and merrily did sing:
"Come hither, hither, pretty fly, with pearl and silver wing;
Your robes are green and purple; there's a crest upon your head;
Your eyes are like diamond bright, but mine are dull as lead!"

Alas, alas! how very soon this silly little fly,
Hearing his wily, flattering words, came slowly flitting by;
With buzzing wings she hung aloft, then near and nearer grew,
Thinking only of her brilliant eyes and green and purple hue,
Thinking only of her crested head. Poor, foolish thing! at last
Up jumped the cunning spider, and fiercely held her fast;
He dragged her up his winding stair, into the dismal den -
Within his little parlor - but she ne'er came out again!

And now, dear little children, who may this story read,
To idle, silly flattering words I pray you ne'er give heed;
Unto an evil counselor close heart and ear and eye,
And take a lesson from this tale of the spider and the fly.

-Mary Howitt-

Rainy days

2007-01-14T13:40:00.000+08:00

It's just those rainy days

Spend a lifetime tryin' to wash it away
Until the Sun comes out and shines again
Smile for me, smile for me

All of those rainy days
Spend ya lifetime tryin' to wash away
Until the Sun shines and I see your face
Smile at me, smile at me

Sick of all this rain. Still it hardly kept me from going swimming. Was drizzling quite a bit on Thursday, but I still went for a swim. It was damn good. Probably 'cos I had the whole pool to myself. Somehow, I found it easier to swim in such a weather 'cos I completed 25 laps in less than an hour. Water in the pool was warm too. But I realised that my nipples really erected when I went into the water and out of the water. Haha.. Kinda embarrassing cos the hardened nipples were pretty much obvious against the thin cloth of the bikini.

Was shivering when I got out of the pool as I've forgotten to bring along my towel. Then the rain got heavier and I was trapped in the shelter by the pool. Saw the fiftyish lifeguard again. He acknowledged me with a very friendly "Hello! You're back again!" and a smile. Then I also exchanged a few words with 2 other younger and very cute lifeguards, who amidst the conversation said I was very brave to be swimming in the rain. Hahahaha...

Someone claimed the lifeguards initiated a conversation with me because I'm well-endowed. Bleah!

I'm wondering if I should go swimming later on.

*****

Then after the swim on Thursday, I went for kickboxing with Munster. She's such a sweetheart! Knowing that I love chocolates (esp. the dark bitter ones), she bought me a bar of Meiji black chocolate. Muacks! I guess that's what good friends are like. =) Love her to bits already...

After which, we went to Billy Bombers for dinner. Both of us shared a Seafood Platter course and some nachos. Though we were stuffing ourselves to the face with all the food, we were too full to finish everything. I feel that Billy Bombers shouldn't serve such big portions of food or too much fries for an individual 'cos most of us tend not being able to finish the food and end up wasting quite a lot of it.

*****

I skipped training this morning, thinking that I'll go for a swim instead but the bad weather didn't make that possible. Think my instructor is pretty disappointed with my lacklustre performance at training this few weeks. He did mention to me a couple of weeks ago that I would be roped into the demonstration team. This means that the demo team would be going around promoting this form of martial arts by conducting workshops and taking part in exhibitions.

The reason why I am needed is 'cos I am the only female around with enough experience and skills to kick some guys' asses and throw them onto the ground. Wow! I am honoured.

It's Sunday again! Sucks... Don't wanna go back to school!

I am still a child

2007-01-10T21:51:00.000+08:00

I remember as a child, I'd always loved reading Enid Blyton children's stories. And in one of her stories, one of the characters - an old woman, said that if there is enough blue sky to make a sailor's pants, it would not rain.

Since then, I've always been looking to see if there is enough blue sky to make a sailor's pants whenever I plan to go swimming.

Sigh... I'm still so much like a child. Think like one, act like one, even look like one.

*****

Took a cab this early morning to rush for an 8.30am class. Managed to hail a cab quickly, but bloody cabbie uncle forbade me to have my sandwich breakfast on his vehicle. I mean like, WTF, why not? It was in a plastic bag and I'm not a messy eater. Or is he sensitive to the smell of hotdog and cheese?

Oh well... Since I can't have my half-eaten piping hot breakfast on the cab, then I shall let the smell of hotdog and cheese permeate the air-conditioned interior of the vehicle then, irritating the cabbie uncle. Evil!

But serves him right 'cos my sandwich turned soggy after I've alighted from the cab. Me hate soggy sandwiches! RAR!!!

*****

Today I twittered a message - "How many times can a heart be broken?"

Do you have an answer to that?

I'm currently attracted to 4 different guys all at the same time. How sucky is that?! 2 of them are from my martial arts team (no, not my instructor lah! although he's a good catch but he's taken already ok?), 1 is a friend (nope, not TX), another is from my school (he's a pakistani chinese! Let's call him S).

Oh by the way, I saw S at the bus-stop today. Didn't realise that he was around until G nudged me. S seemed to have put on a lil bit more weight after the hols, but still looking cute. Heh! Seems like everytime we meet, I'm not looking my best - messy hair, bloated stomach, perspiring and all. But I'm so painfully shy that I was hiding behind G, Z and P the whole time. G was talking so loudly, teasing me and threatening to call out to S so that he would look my way. I practically went down on my knees and beg G to pipe down. Hahaha... But I think S did look my way once, and I quickly looked away. Shit! I suck.

How how?! I'm so shy but o' so fickle-minded! As Munster once said before - I'm such a shameless slut! =D

*****

I think I'm addicted to swimming. Although I'm dog tired after 6 hours of school, I still went swimming and even managed to complete 20 laps! Haha... I was so tempted to swim in my new boxer underwear.

I like the new boxer underwears I've gotten from LaSenza with Munster last Monday. I think I shall go Plaza Singapura after training this Sunday to get more of those boxer underwears. Hope they are not out of stock yet!

nonsensical stuff

2007-01-07T00:56:00.000+08:00

Update at 11.15pm:
So I woke up early this morning for training. Munster and friend came to have a look at our training. I've got so many blisters on my hand again! Then after training we went to Park Mall first so that I could have a shower, before proceeding to Cathay to buy tickets for a movie. Went to Sushi-Don for lunch and then off to the arcade to play some games. Got bitten on my left shoulder by Munster twice. Ouch!

Went back to Cathay after an hour of games. As it was still too early to enter the cinema, we walked around the shopping mall, looking, touching and gushing at each and every item on display. Haha... Time passed quite fast and soon we were seating in front of the big movie screen for our show - Pan's Labyrinth. It's actually a Spanish fairy tale for adults but not to worry as there are English subtitles for us to follow. Not gonna spoil it for y'all, but it was not bad if you like fantasy and war stuff. Munster thinks that it's a really cool show!

After the movie, I was so full of popcorn and so we walked to Plaza Singapura. There we planned to shop first before grabbing dinner since all of us were still quite full. So we walked around, looking at clothes, bags, etc. I bought 4 new tops and 2 FBT shorts which amounted to about $120. Tsk tsk... Gotta watch my spending since I've yet to buy my Lunar New Year's clothings.

By the time we were done with all the shopping and ready to get dinner, it was already 9.15pm. Ate handmade noodles (ban mian) at the foodcourt where I've got my third love bite on the right arm from Munster again. Ouch ouch! I swear either the girl's got a fetish for biting or she's a piranha in her previous life. Muahahhaa!!!

It was 10.15 when we were ready to go home. Queues for the taxis were so long, so it wasn't really a good idea to take a cab from Plaza Singapura home. But there was a dull throb starting at the back of my head and my body was aching in every possible place from training and being out for more than half the day. So I started feeling a lil grumpy. Munster was trying her best to cheer me up and I did for a while until we got onto a pretty packed bus. It got even more packed along the way and some men were standing too close to me for comfort. Besides, I can't wait to get back home. So my mood darkened further. Sorry darling Munster, for me being such a spoilt brat. =(

It's back to school for me again tomorrow. I don't wanna go back to school! Life sucks.

*****

I've got training later on. But I feel like giving it a miss. See lah, sir! You kept on issuing long training breaks that now I've lost the momentum and even have trouble rekindling the passion for that form of martial arts. Anyway, I'm expecting fewer people to turn up for training tomorrow morning cos not all may have been informed of the resumed training schedule. The management sucks! And that's why you need a woman, i.e ME, to help out with housekeeping matters.

In addition, school's starting on Monday and I'm feeling like a Primary One kid who is apprehensive of the new semester and feeling a lil teary-eyed when thinking bout going back to school. I'm seriously dreading it. I think I shall go on a hunt for one of those loaded old men and become be a tai-tai so that I don't have to work, but still have the cash and blings blings rolling in so that I can do whatever I want to!

Bleah!

P.S: I'll update again later tonight. I'm still craving for that Turkish lamb shank and mashed potatoes that we girls had for dinner on Friday night!

P.P.S: Might have fewer updates when the new school semester starts cos I'll probably be too busy and too lazy to blog. But I'll try my darnest to blog ok? In the meantime, do continue to watch out for my twitter space for sporadic updates!

the gardener and the dandelion

2007-01-05T09:15:00.000+08:00

She was just a dull-looking dandelion, with small fluffy grey hair and a crooked stalk. She wasn't planted by the gardener himself. Neither was she one of those pretty flowers in his garden that shone with bright colours. As a wild seed, she was blown by the wind into his garden where she wedged herself firmly in the soil, among the other beautiful flowers.

Yet, the Gardener didn't mind. He didn't wrench her out and threw her away. Instead, he continued caring for her as he did for all his flowers in the garden. While he worked in the garden, he would tell them his thoughts and feelings, of stories about love found and lost, of funny incidents which he'd encountered when he went into town.

In fact, he didn't notice her presence at first. So she secretly promised herself that she would try her utmost to become as gorgeous as the other flowers and attract his attention.

Then one day, while he was doing his usual daily routine of watering and checking the plants for diseases, he stopped beside her and bent down for a closer look. "Hello", he said to her. She glowed with so much pride that she thought she was going to burst any moment. Then, she tried to puff up her small fluffy grey hair and straighten her crooked stalk for him.

"However did you manage to get here?", the Gardener asked with a fond smile on his sad face as he stroked her small fluffy grey hair and crooked stalk lovingly. She peered closely at his face and looked into his eyes. She saw him hurting inside and suddenly, she found herself aching for him as well.

When he realised she couldn't possibly answer him, the Gardener stood up and walked back to his house with slow heavy footsteps. She looked on heartbreakingly at his back view, at his slouching shoulders, at the powerful rough hands that held the watering can. The dull-looking dandelion, with small fluffy grey hair and a crooked stalk longed to be his source of comfort, to soothe him and take away all his pain.

How could she not feel for him? How could she not be attracted to him? How could a dull-looking dandelion, with small fluffy grey hair and a crooked stalk, ever compete for his love with the other fine-looking flowers?

She didn't dare hope. Didn't dare hope the Gardener would remember her. Didn't dare hope he would stop by again to talk to her. Didn't dare hope he would feel anything for her. She bowed her crooked stalk and wept as the gentle wind caressed her small fluffy grey head.

airport trip

2007-01-03T22:17:00.000+08:00

Had an argument with Mom yesterday regarding her side of relatives. I was never really as close to my maternal's side of family than to my paternal's. However, that's another story for another time. So yeah, as I was saying, a few of my aunts, uncles and young cousins came to our house yesterday. I hate it when this particular cousin comes to my house. So bloody ill-mannered. So anal! He could never keep his hands to himself and would always mess with my stuff and whatever stuff he could lay his hands on, without any permission. And his bloody anal parents never bothered to take him in hand.

Of course I wasn't happy. I'm very territorial when it comes to my things. I mean - you don't go to other people's house and start messing around with their stuff without asking for permission, do you? Well, I don't. And I always keep my hands to myself since young, always asking for permission if I wanna do something or go somewhere.

Raised my voice and barely managed to control my temper. Was so pissed off that my breaths came out loud and controlled, and my hands were trembling with anger. I glared at that cousin several times but he sure was thick-skinned. Even had the audacity to enter my bedroom, which of course I chased him out with a very firm but harsh 'Out!'.

Oh well, these people spoiled my day and thus, I was behaving like a spoilt brat, looking all sulky and scowling the whole day. When they finally went home, Mom came home and gave me a stern lecture and now we're having a cold war.

*****

Woke up late today and only went swimming in the afternoon. Sun wasn't shining that brightly but it was ok. The pool was pretty empty except for a couple of guys. Then a lifeguard in his early fifties actually came to make small talk with me.

I was moving the deckchair.

Him: Hi! You need help with that?

Me: (thinking if I look that weak) Oh! Nah... It's ok. I can manage. *gives a smile*

Him: OK! *returns a smile*

While swimming, I noticed he was doing push-ups and some stretching exercises by the pool. Ummm... Weird.

Got up from the pool after finishing my 20 laps,
Him: Hey! Happy New Year ah! Happy New Year to you!

Me: Happy New Year to you too. *gives a weak smile*

Later when I was leaving,
Him: Hey! You going off arh?

Me: Yeah.

Him: Oh! Do come back more often to swim ok?! Don't be shy!

Me: *laughs* OK!

Him: See you soon.

Me: See ya.

Shit! That lifeguard's not hitting on me, is he?! I hope I'm not paranoid but I didn't see him talking to anyone else but other lifeguards. Geez... Anyway, I'm going back to swim tomorrow morning, might see him again. Oh well... Most important thing is, the sun had better be shining brightly!

*****

Went to the airport just now to send my aunt's Aussie friend off. She's going back to Australia after being here in Singapore for 10 days. We walked past some crystal shop and went in to have a look. Something caught my eye when I was browsing at the necklaces.

I really really really love this necklace! So pretty! Anyone wanna get it for me or make an exact replica of that for me? *looks at Munster with pleading eyes* Hehehe...

Then we went to have dinner at this Thai restaurant at Terminal 2. Ordered 2 servings of green mango salad, 1 serving of thai fish cakes, 1 serving of sambal stir-fried kangkong, fried rice noodle (chicken) and tom yum seafood soup for me, and beef curries for my aunt and friend, and mango with glutinous rice for dessert. We also had free flow of Chinese tea while the Aussie friend had fresh pineapple juice. Didn't take any photos of the food cos I was starving. Haha...

The total bill for that meal is about $81. Worth it cos the ambience was good, the seats were big and comfy, the food was yummy but the only grouse was that the waitresses could have served the dishes slower, instead of serving all the dishes at one go and end up cluttering the table.

At the departure gate, we bade our farewells the French way. Hug and kiss the left cheek, then kiss the right cheek, then kiss the left cheek again. Oh well... I'll be seeing her again this coming June in Australia.

Got caught in the heavy rain on our way home from the airport. Was drenched quite badly. Luckily I wasn't wearing a white t-shirt. Came home, took a cold shower somemore, cos I forgot and was too lazy to switch on the heater. Right now, feeling kinda queasy. =(

*****

P.S: OMFG!!! Motorola has got this new red mobile phone! So chio! It's exactly the kind of red that I would go for! So pweety!!! And it's all for a good cause. Go check it out here.

untitled

2007-01-02T09:31:00.000+08:00

Look Ma! A rainbow on the first day of 2007!

And it ends here...

Pardon the not-so-sharp pictures. It's the best I could do with my camera phone ok. And the hand doesn't belong to me. I didn't even notice that there was a hand in the way when I was snapping away. Bleah!

However, DK managed to capture a more decent picture.

Anyway, we went out for a big feast last night. I didn't take any pictures cos I was already starving. There was 7 dishes in all - oyster omelette, belachan fried pomfret, baby kailan in oyster sauce, chilli crabs, hot-plate tofu, butter prawns and sambal clams! They didn't have crayfish, you know! The crayfish were all sold out by the time we arrived. How could they not have more?! ARGH!

Anyway, the bill rang up to a grand total of $119 which was well worth it for 7 scrumptious dishes and a free flow of hot chrysanthymum tea. Oh man, just thinking of it now makes my mouth water. Hehe...

I am in deep trouble lah. Been gorging myself on all these sinfully delicious food these few days as we had to play host to my aunt's Australian friend, bringing her around to try as much good food as possible. Rojak, nasi bryani, popiah, nonya kuehs, yam paste in sweet pumpkin sauce, dim sum, lots of different alcoholic drinks, etc. *whines*

*****

I'm very tempted to go swimming today. But when I thought of how it is a public holiday today and all those foreign workers would be crowding the whole pool and leering at each and every local woman, I think I'll give swimming a miss today and go tomorrow instead. Damn those foreign workers! Let it rain today!

Okies, I'm gonna just bum around and wait for Munster's call. Ho ho ho... Let's all get beer-y high!

Happy New Year again!

2007-01-01T10:59:00.000+08:00

HAPPY 2007!

Had champagne last night. Had enough to make me somewhat light-headed and sleepy cos I drank it in gulps on an empty stomach.

*****

It's that time of the year again - to review and reflect on the past year's resolutions and make new ones this year.

New Year resolutions for 2006
a) Make good use of my spare time and earn more money.
Yeah! I've managed to do that. Ummm... Spent quite a lot too.

b) Study harder and attain better results, a higher GPA score.
Nope! Was pretty slack this year, results dipped a little too much for my liking.

c) Keep fit and healthy. (Good health for all too)
Yup! Signed up for a gym membership, took up kickboxing and martial arts. Went for swims regularly. Watched my diet too.

d) Lose weight. (in all the right places of cos')
Of course! I lost more than I'd expected. Good job! *gives myself a big pat on the back* Never belittle my ~~stubborness~~ willpower.

e) Get a proper boyfriend and be committed to a proper relationship.
Ermm... Still waiting, searching, hoping, praying...

f) Spend quality time with my family and besties.
Yeah. I think I did managed to stick to that. Made some new friends too. Hehe...

g) Improve on my pathetic social life.
Umm... I think I did improve it by a little. Not a bad start. =)

h) Be very careful in choosing friends.
Yeah. Got that done as well.

i) Start planning a big bash for my 21st birthday.
Nope! It was a major flop for a big bash. Ended up with a small cosy dinner at the restaurant with Mommy and lil sister and a big chocolate fudge cake to top it off. Munster also gave me a lunch treat at Crystal Jade Restaurant. *beams* It's not that bad, after all.

j) Try to be more punctual for classes.
Ermm.. The key word here is 'try' and I think I did try and succeeded most of the time.

k) Enjoy life to the fullest.
Maybe?

Seems like a pretty good year for me to have achieved quite a bit of what I'd planned to do. Let's see, what're my plans for this year...

New Year resolutions for 2007
a) Be more motivated to study and work harder in order to cross over.

b) Continue to keep fit and healthy.

c) Lose a bit more weight and get toned up before my aunt's big day.

d) Keep in contact with my besties and friends. Maintain our friendships.

e) Keep a look out for that special someone to share my life with.

f) Be more respectful and good-mannered to my mom, the elders and family members.

g) Pamper Mommy more.

Well... I think that's all for now. I've got a positive feeling that 2007 will be filled with many goodies for me. Hehe... For one, there's the wedding reception in March to look forward to and a trip to Australia in late May to attend my aunt's wedding. Can't wait!

Once again,

HAPPY ~~MOO~~ NEW YEAR!

alcohols make me high

2006-12-31T21:51:00.000+08:00

Last post for the year 2006. The past week was mostly spent downing alcohols with my aunt and her friend from Australia. I don't usually drink because I seldom have the opportunity to. So I can't really hold my liquor that well.

On Tuesday night, we went to Muddy Murphys - an Irish pub beside Orchard Towers, to have a drink. I like what was ordered for me. A pint of Strongbow Cider. Yummy. Didn't take a picture of it though. Anyway, the alcohol content was a 4.5% which was ok for me. The beer was smooth and have this tangy taste to it. We also ordered some fingerfood such as pizza and potatoe wedges with chilli crab dip to go with our drinks.

*****

On Friday night, we went to Raffles Hotel's Long Bar to have Singapore Sling. It was my very first time at Raffles Hotel, and my very first time having Singapore Sling which I had no idea it existed until that night. We found a table and sat down after ordering our drinks. The whole floor was littered with peanut shells. A whole lot of peanut shells!

My Sg Sling and a box of peanuts to go with it

A closer look...

Almost finishing it. Yummy! More please... My pile of peanut shells behind the glass.

On the whole, I felt that Sg Sling tastes quite good. The taste of the alcohol was just nice for my liking and there was this sweet fruity tinge to it too. I like...

After finishing it, my face was a little flushed. Then aunt suggested another round of drinks and we were all for it. Ordered a jug of strawberry magarita next.

My share of margarita was very concentrated, very strong. Alcohol content wise was also very high.

Our strawberry margaritas and the empty jug

My very concentrated strong magarita which I struggled to finish

AAahhh... Managed to finish it finally. *hic hic*

By the time I've finished the second drink, I was very flushed in the face and the eyes. I could feel the alcohol coursing through my veins, heating up my whole body. My whole face was glowing like Rudolph's shiny red nose. I was very quiet, almost in a stupor, but not drunk. All I could think was - I'd better be able to walk straight and not make a fool out of myself.

And surprisingly, I really could walk straight later on when we left at around 12.30am. Phew...

*****

Then on Saturday, I was having a minor hangover. Damn! I sure am lousy with drinks. But still managed to make it to the pool for a swim. Only did 10 laps and then went home. Didn't feel like going anywhere after that. Was feeling moody too. But Munster and gang invited me for a movie at Marina Square which I readily agreed to cos I felt like having company in the evening.

Watched The Curse of The Golden Flower. We all thought that the show was really good and we enjoyed it very much. Lotsa jiggling boobies, lotsa bloodshed, lotsa incest... It was one big majestic tragedy. Besides, Jay Chou's acting skills made us laugh and groan. Haha...

After that, we had some sushi and talk at Sakae before heading home. On the way home, received an SMS from aunt, saying that she's having Sg Sling again at Mariott Hotel's Crossroads. So I had the taxi uncle make a detour to Mariott Hotel and joined my aunt and her Aussie friend there. The Sg Sling at Crossroads wasn't to my liking, so I ordered Pina Colada instead.

My half-drank Pina Colada and a glass of iced water

Yum! I like Pina Colada very much. It's got rum, pineapple juice, coconut cream, etc. in it. I swear there's something in the Pina Colada that made my hormones go crazy. *slutty smile* Purrs...

mixed feelings

2006-12-27T23:54:00.000+08:00

It's scary how my bro can feel my vibes through the monitor screen. Yikes!

P.S: So maybe I'm a little smitten bout TX, more than I want to admit it.

Tried to test the waters tonight but he never really answered my question. Haha.. Maybe I did not disguise my attempt well. Maybe I'm rushing into things a little too fast, a little too early. Or maybe I'm just mad and very stupid to even develop a slight tingling feeling for a guy whom I've never met face to face with before - and expect the feeling to be mutual. *frowns*

But there indeed was an unmistakable tinge of sourness at the bottom of my heart for that moment.

Mad. Positively mad.

One should never lose hope.

One should also know not to harbour false hope.

I don't know. I'm confused. And those who know me well would know I probably would drop this issue like a HOT dog (pun intended). The longest period of time which I carried a torch for a guy was 17 months? In the end, I didn't dare let him know how I felt. Anyway he's happily attached now. =)

Point is, why put myself through that kinda shit again? A waste of time. A whole lot of emotional drainage.

Fun meh?

A nagging voice at the back of my mind.

Sometimes, you really wonder what you are living for.

It's a wonder I'm still alive after all this time.

sho emo

2006-12-23T22:24:00.000+08:00

I am sick AGAIN! *groans* I don't know why my immune system sucks to the core. Got a shock when I stuck out my tongue in front of the mirror and noticed that the back of it has a layer of yellowish mucus. My mom said it's due to heatiness, too much peanut butter. Gah!

I'm also feeling nauseous with a queasy tingle in the tummy when I smell food, which explains my very poor appetite since yesterday. Mom and aunt say it's a sign of anorexia. Me?! Anorexic?! Ha Ha Ha! Never! I just hope it's not another bout of gastric flu.

*****

I thought I should say something about this. Does the problem lie with the people around me or me or both parties? 5 years ago, I had many friends. 3 years ago, I had 2 extremely close friends whom I can trust my dear life with. 1 year ago, I don't think I don't think I had any real friends anymore.

The 3 of us kinda drifted apart, due to studies and other personal commitments. Hardly meet up anymore, instead staying in contact via SMSes or MSN chats or if I'm very lucky - a phone call once in a blue moon. I treasure these relationships a lot. One of the reasons why I hold them so dear to me is because they have saved me from the brink of death more than once, being there for me in times of trouble.

Then I thought I found another very good friend whom I can connect with on a deeper level. Again, we drifted apart in the past year or so.

I think I have difficulty maintaining friendships. I also think I do make a bloody strong effort to hold on to this now very frail threads that bind us. I also feel that perhaps these special people who have special places in my heart don't feel the same way towards me.

Perhaps we should just let whatever we have between us to just erode to nothingness and not try to salvage it. But you know I'm too stubborn and that I love and care bout all of you too much to let that happen. So I will persevere till the very end and make things work out fine.

Despite all these obstacles, I have formed a new friendship recently with this crazy adorable female homosapien who goes by the pet name of Munster. Haha.. Through her, I widened my social circle and got to know more cool people. Really enjoy spending time with this cool chick who actually managed to make the once-arduous-task-of-shopping such a joy for me! Wonder what magic spells she cast on me. Muahahaha... Looking forward to another crazy drinking session with her and her friends.

*****

No matter what, I am truly grateful for each and every dear friend who have stood firmly by me through my darkest hours, for putting up with my nonsense and for believing in me time and time again when all faith was lost. Thank you for bringing the light when things seem so bleak. Thank you for being the shelters which I could turn to in times of turbulence. Thank you for filling up my life with colours, warmth, joy, tears, laughter and sorrow.

Geez... I feel so emo tonight.

horoshit

2006-12-22T18:41:00.000+08:00

Currently at my gramp's for dinner and glutinous rice balls. I miss those home-made glutinous rice balls - the small plain red, pink, orange, white kind with the yummy sweet ginger soup. But don't have much of an appetite. I think I have the abilities of a clairvoyant. Woke up from the wrong side of the bed feeling moody and all. Turns out that today really isn't a good day. *groans*

With nothing better to do, I was surfing the website when I came across this :

LIBRA IN LOVE
As the most partner-oriented sign in the zodiac, why is it that you have so many relationship crises? Those scales you balance on your graceful shoulders surely make you the most reasonable of people. Well, you are reasonable but you're also very keen to set the balance straight, and that can involve an awful lot of ups and downs, and a fair amount of arguments. You are, of course, the most desirable of women - you know how to make the best of yourself, whether or not you've been gifted with perfect features and a figure to die for, and your charm is legendary. Men fall in love with you at the drop of a hat, and, given the work you put into the art of relating and the give and take of marriage, it's hard to see why they ever leave you. Well, to be honest, you tend to be the one to spilt the mighty atom: when you've waited long enough to get back what you put into a relationship and realized your other half is never going to meet you, even half-way, you finally leave. Admittedly, you almost always have someone else to go to, to lessen the pain and panic of separation, but you do own a pair of designer boots - and for walking all over your mystified men!

Advice:
Most people consider Virgo to be the zodiac's perfectionist but it's you: you expect a knight whose shining armour never tarnishes, and you'll go from one love affair to another until you find it. What you really need to do, however, is accept that no man is perfect and that no matter how you try, you cannot change a leopard's spots. Another technique to help you find long-term happiness in marriage is to take a much slower and reserved entry into a relationship in the first place: allow him to show what he can do for you, let him do the work. Draw the lines in the sand from the outset, and with a little bit of Libran good luck, you'll create a perfect heaven of a relationship in which to spend the rest of your life.

And this :

SCORPIO IN LOVE
Do you know a Scorpio who hasn't a tale to tell of passion and heartbreak? I don't. Your sign is all about the glorious highs and deathly lows of the great love affair. You were born to love, live to suffer yet to rise again, like the proverbial phoenix, out of the ashes of each painful lesson in love. There is something deeper and more compelling about you than other women, something that goes beyond physical appearance and charm: you have genuine sexual magnetism, which men cannot resist. Yet like all females who thrive on passion and are driven to extremes, your ardour can draw you into the most inappropriate and mutually-destructive liaisons. Fortunately, like the scorpion itself, you are tough and not only survive the most fatal attraction but always live to exact the sweetest retribution. Oh, that Scorpio sting in the tail...

Advice:
What, of course, would make the path to love and happiness a whole lot straighter and smoother would be to make a choice with your head as opposed to your heart. But then, that would be to deny yourself those sojourns in the troughs of pain and despair, which somehow replenish you. Then there's overcoming your jealousy and possessiveness. You were not born with the live-and-let-live gene, but, with practice you can acquire the appearance of giving a partner his space and you can conquer the desire to put him through a third-degree each time he's late for dinner. It is true to say that of all the signs Scorpios are their own worst enemies: creating unnecessary conflict and suffering agonies over hurts, real and imagined, but let's not forget that the making-up more than makes up for all the aggro. Indeed, you have the capacity to continue living the grande passion well into the geriatric years!

*Crap; Fact

P.S: Very very very good advice given.

*****

Most people who know me have difficulty believing that I'm a Libra. Their first guess would usually be the Scorpio sign. I don't blame them. I do think I'm a Lipio/Scorbra - a hybrid of Libra and Scorpio, a cross between these two signs. But looking back at the highlighted parts, I think I'm more Scorpio than Libra. How strange...

overdue update

2006-12-20T18:25:00.000+08:00

Back to update my blog. Like finally... *rolls eyes* Ok! Snap out of this shit, bimbo! *slaps own head*

Was down with gastric flu cum food poisoning a couple of weeks ago. Please do not ever ever ever patronise the Banquet food court on basement 1 at Jurong Point shopping mall. I've seen cockroaches crawling on the walls there. Even if you had to eat there, do not, and I mean DO NOT buy from the indo-chinese mixed vegetable rice stall. Thinking bout it now still gives me the shivers.

I ate the vegetable curry there on a Friday evening, then went home and took a nap. Woke up at 11 plus and started feeling nauseous. Stayed up to 1 in the morning with a plastic bag on my lap, trying my darnest to puke, but finally fell into a troubled sleep with the plastic bag under my pillow.

Woke up bout 3 hours later from an excruciating pain in the abdomen. When I say excruciating, I mean EXcruciating - felt as if someone was wrenching my stomach with all his bloody might. That's when diarrheoa started and diarrheoa was like a damn bloody burst pipe. Splat! Bur bur bur bur bur... Splaaaaaat!!! I shall spare you from further horror. But that night, the toilet was my second bedroom.

Took some leftover medicine that my sister had for her gastric flu a month ago. Nearly fainted after my x visit to the toilet. Rolled around on the bed, clutching my stomach and groaning in pain. Slipped in and out of consciousness for the next 3 hours or so. At around 8am, during another toilet trip, I finally vomitted! Phew! It was pure relief. Luckily I had my plastic bag with me. So while my bowels were being emptied, I retched into my NTUC plastic bag. Out came all the orange semi-digested vegetable curry which filled 3/4 of the plastic bag. The sour smell of stomach acid stung my nostrils and the back of my throat, causing my stomach to heave once more and empty all the toxins out of my mouth.

Went to see the doctor in the afternoon.
Doctor: Hi, Stephanie. Why do you look so miserable?

Me: (thinking to myself - If I look happy, I wouldn't be here, would I, Bitch? Now quit the formalities and get down to making me well again!) *ignores the doctor and let my mother do the talking*

Was like a zombie for the rest of Saturday. Couldn't eat, couldn't stay awake for more than an hour. It was horrible. I don't ever want to go through THAT again. Rested some more on Sunday and Monday.

*****

So here I am now, with a bloody sore throat. Seems like the tonsils got inflammed again. Damn! But I'm still eating fried stuff, spicy stuff, heaty stuff like chocolates, milo and peanut butter. Yum yum... Haha...

I digress.

Just wondering, why are bikinis so expensive?! They don't use much cloth! In my opinion, it's ridiculous paying more than $100 for 3 small triangular pieces of cloth and a couple of strings.

But, I still buy bikinis, ONLY if each piece is less than $80. Haha... I'm going to have two more bikinis to add to my collection soon. Yay!!! I hope my period ends soon, I wanna go swimming somemore. Staying cooped up at home all day makes me eat and eat and put on weight.

*****

I liked the 3 days of continuous raining. It's so nice to sleep in and snuggle under the blankets. Spent a few hours yesterday finishing the tshirt design for my martial arts training team. But because of the rain, I didn't go for training last evening.

Heard from a senior that there will be another 3 weeks of training break. Like WHAT THE FUCK?! We just had 2 weeks of training break during early December and now this?! BAH!!!

2006-11-18T19:31:00.000+08:00

OOOOooh... Seems like there are loads of goodies in store for me during this hols! Yay!!!

I am soooooooo excited!

But right now, I am extremely tired. Did 20 odd laps at the pool today. Can hardly keep my eyes open now.

The guys at the pool suck! All they care about is hogging the deckchairs and suntanning. They hardly swim! Bah! But still, some of them are eye candies for me. Hahaha... Anyway, I couldn't get any deckchairs although I arrived at the pool by 9.30am. So I went swimming first but in the end I still couldn't get any available seats. Laid down on my towel by the side of the pool and read my book while enjoying the gorgeous sunshine.

I am getting addicted to swimming. Muahahahha!!! Oh yeah, there's training tomorrow! Grading for my seniors on the coming 21st Tuesday! RAR!!! Alrighty then, time to sleep. Totally bummed out.

Toodles!

P.S: GST increase, postage prices also increase. What's next?! Can't wait to get out of Singapore and get away from all these unreasonable price hikes and the elite scumbags. Bah!!!

GST hike is a bitch!

2006-11-15T00:01:00.000+08:00

No! Seriously, what good would it do to the common Singaporean to increase GST? 5% is already too much, what more 7%?! How the fuck is increasing the GST able to help the poor when our own salaries are not increased?! Could anyone in the parliament enlighten me?

And so the rich gets richer and the poor gets poorer. Do something and say NO to GST hike by clicking here now.

I wondered who they surveyed/interviewed to come up with the statistics that most Singaporeans are earning more and would support the hike. Please search your conscience if you still have any left and choose a larger unbiased sample size in the future!

*****

I see no point in being nice to some people. Not only because I'm a goddamn bitch, but also because they bloody do not deserve it.

To these asswipes - PFOAD t(-.-t)

Which translates to Please Fuck Off And Die.

*****

My team mates love me to bits lah! Both my seniors and my juniors have such a good time teasing me. Really needa thank my instructors and seniors for being so patient with me. Grading's in a week's time!

The last two fingers on my right hand hurt so fucking bad that I have difficulty bending them. But at least I learnt something new today - the 7 offensive drills. Wheeee!!! Anyway, I'm really bummed out right now. Needa hit the bed!

Toodles!

missing you

2006-11-11T21:12:00.000+08:00

I am not one to trust easily.

I am not one who likes to take risks.

Yet, I realise that I'm putting my life into the hands of a perfect stranger everytime I take a cab.

*****

It's been too long since I had a man.

I miss the feeling of having another warm body in bed when it gets cold.

I miss the hugs, kisses, love and cuddles.

I miss you, do you miss me?

Sigh... I am such a Jezebel.

Disclaimer: Celibacy has no pleasures. It doesn't have to be a serious relationship, if you get what I mean. *winks* Just asking for some rain on the dry Sahara plain.

*****

Anyone has the vcd - Valentine ?

The one starring Denise Richards, David Boreanaz and a few others, bout some psychopath killing women on a particular Valentine's Day.

If you have it or know where to get it, please let me know. Thanks!

summary of the week...

2006-11-10T09:25:00.000+08:00

Monday
Nearly fainted at the gym. Did 55 minutes on the cycling machine and was lifting the weights when I suddenly felt nauseous. Knew something was wrong and quickly released the weights and sat down. Was very very nauseous and felt as if something was squeezing my brains and eyeballs as if they were going to pop! Squeezed my eyes shut tightly and firmly warned myself repeatedly not to faint or vomit cos it's gonna be embarrassing. Could only hear roaring noises and other sounds seemed so far away. It hurts to open my eyes and everything seemed so dim. I really saw stars. Haha...

Fiza and Fion sensed something was wrong when I sat very still and quiet. They rushed over to take a look. Found that my face has turned pale and I was breaking out into cold sweat. Their asking me if I was okay brought me back gradually. The whole freakin ordeal lasted for a few minutes. Fion got me a cup of hot milo and gave me a sweet. I felt my face and it was icy cold! I ended with a slight headache at the end of the day. Sheesh... So scary! I don't ever want to experience another dizzy spell again.

P.S: I'm not diabetic. It was my very very very first dizzy spell and hopefully the last one too. Fion speculates that it could be that I went without food and water for 7 hours before exercising which is why the body lacked electrolytes and went into shock. Oh well.. I wasn't hungry or thirsty so I didn't take food or water. Heh... Silly me!

Tuesday
Went swimming in the afternoon by myself. Completed 15 laps. Shiok! Then rested on the deck chair with a good book. Came back and took a short nap before going off for my training in the evening. Ended with sore aching fingers again. Felt slightly nauseous again during training. Told my instructor what happened the day before and he recommended that I eat at least 2 to 3 hours before exercise and suggested that I always have a bottle of Gatorade or 100 plus with me when I am exercising to replenish the electrolytes in my body.

Reached home at 11 plus at night. Took a quick shower and rushed to finish my last assignment for the semester. Completed only 1/4 of it before sleeping at 3am.

Wednesday
Woke up at 7.30am to complete the rest of the assignment. It was a mad rush for time. Typing furiously and mumbling to myself. Managed to get the whole stuff done and printed out by 3pm. Ran into the bathroom and took another quick shower. Packed my bag and all and dashed to school and made it before the designated deadline at 4pm. Reached the school at 3.35pm and found that the darn lift at that particular block was under maintainence! BULLOCKS!

Climbed 10 flights of stairs with my bad legs. Damn damn damn! Managed to catch my tutor(bitchson) at 3.45pm, just before she left for class. But I was raining with perspiration loh. So embarrassing.

Thursday
Went swimming in the morning on my own again. I miss Munster! I want to swim with Munster cos it's so motivating! Haha... Anyway, it sucks lah. I forgot to bring my darn goggles and was an invalid without goggles. Tried borrowing a pair from the lifeguards but they didn't bring their goggles along. Sigh... Kept my head high as I completed my 15 laps. Not good for the neck and shoulder muscles. Luckily I had a spa appointment later in the day. Haha...

P.S: Woo me with a jacuzzi and I am all yours! I am such a sucker for big comfy bathtubs with jets of water spraying from the sides.

Was at the bank to ask about the POSB Go! card. The lady who attended to me answered all my questions and even added that applicants for this Go! card have to be 17 years old and above.

"I see... I'm 21."

"Oh?! You don't look like 21. You look much younger."

P.S: That really added the icing to the cake lah! I felt damn good the rest of the day and even bought myself 4 t-shirts. Felt so darn good that I left both my mobile phones on a pile of clothes and forgotten bout' them until I was about to pay for my purchases. Fortunately, my mobile phones were still at where I left them. My knees went weak with relief.

Friday
So now, here I am, fretting about what to do today. Munster's busy completing assignments and studying for exams. Sapph's got classes and work today. Oh well... Gonna go ransack the kitchen for breakfast now.

A hungry woman is an angry woman. And you don't want to be anywhere near an angry woman with a huge appetite, trust me. *winks*

Cos' she'll have you for breakfast, lunch, tea, dinner and supper!

training bruises

2006-11-05T19:37:00.000+08:00

Geez... The haze is actually back after a few days and it seems that heavy rains do no good to clear up the smog. PSI is currently at 55. Jabroni piece of monkey crap! Bah!

Anyway, there was training this morning. And as usual during every training, I'm bound to suffer some bruises or injuries here and there. Did power hitting today and these are the consequences.

Blister cum bruise on the right hand

Bruise on the right thumb

Blisters and calluses on the right palm

Dark ugly bruise on the left thumb

Pardon the 'blur' pictures 'cos I took them with the camera on my mobile phone. My hands are still sore and hurting. Umm.. Not to forget the ligament injuries on both the heels, with the right heel bone shifted out of place. I hope it heals quickly and I'll be able to resume high-impact workout. Hopefully, it heals in time for my grading too. Yikes!

Oh well... I was supposed to meet Munster at NUS today to study together. BUT, I was sooooo tired after training this morning that I took a 4 hour nap. I am a pig, a very lazy pig. Haha.. Ok! I've got a test tomorrow and I should be studying now. Darn!

Good luck and all the best to all my seniors who are going for grading soon. =)

disappointed

2006-11-03T00:26:00.000+08:00

I really need to get this off my chest before I go stark crazy.

I know I've got the Attitude. But I think I am a pretty nice person on most days.

I also think I'm a highly intelligent homosapien.

YET,

I cannot figure out why none of those whom I consider as 'friends' bothered to even inform me that there was NO tutorial last Tuesday.

I do NOT understand what you meant when you said that you thought you had informed everyone who was online on Monday night and must have missed me from your list.

Please FUCKING enlighten me on how you could have possibly forgot about me when we have been sitting beside each other and doing group work together every tutorial session since the start of that module?!

Did it never occur to what ever brain cells you have left in that miserable brain of yours, that you have my mobile number and could have kindly dropped me an sms, if not, call me?

THEN,

I understood several things perfectly.

1. Never take the people around you for granted.
2. No more being Ms Helpful-and-Nice to certain people.
3. I am so insignificant till to the point of being non-existent.

Not to mention,

That I have a very fucked-up tutor, Bitchson, who loves giving last minute instructions and announcements over the school's online platform instead of emailing the whole group or notifying the class rep.

Of course,

I am partially at fault for not taking a closer look at the latest announcements on the school's e-learning platform. Then again, who was the dickhead who posted two totally different announcements using the same announcement title for both? Bitchson.

So the thing was, I fucking took a cab to school, rushing all the way, thinking I was late. I entered the tutorial room and was shocked to find just the class rep sitting inside. She broke the news to me and I did my darnest to hide whatever strong emotions that threatened to erupt from within me.

Then she said - "But she(Bitchson) said that we can use this time to consult her for our upcoming assignment. You may want to do that."

Me - "Do I look like I ever want to consult her?"

I even thought to myself, how many people actually came to school that day for consultation time? I can safely say - NIL.

Now now, how can I possibly forget my manners?

I do so want to thank you, my friends, for making me feel like the world's greatest fool.

Thank you for allowing me to see how very unimportant I had been to you.

Thank you for fucking up my day nicely.

Seriously, who needs enemies when you've got friends like these? =)

swim fun

2006-11-02T21:21:00.000+08:00

I WANT TO GO SWIMMING AGAIN!!!

I WANT TO GO SWIMMING WITH MUNSTER!!!

I WANT TO GO SWIMMING WITH MY FRIENDS!!!

Munster is damn cool lah. Able to swim 50 laps non-stop. Motivated by Munster, I actually dragged my arse out off the deck chair, away from suntanning, got into the pool and completed 10 laps. Haha... I hope the haze goes away completely and the sun comes out and shine its brightest.

Besides, Munster also told me that swimming is a good low-impact exercise which does not put too much a strain on my injured ligament. Yippee!

*****

Find out more about this movie!

Went to watch The Prestige last night with Munster and friend, Gavian. Christian Bale is so deliciously hot! Oh sheesh... Those chiselled features, dark good looks and the heavily english accented words that rolled off from that tongue of his make him so sexy! *drools*

But too bad, Christian Bale is a happily married man.

Anyway, it is a really good show with a lot of twists and I enjoyed it. Definitely not for the air-headed bimbos or uni-brain-cellular simpletons. Go catch it, it IS worth the money. The next movie I am gonna catch is The Covenant. Anyone wanna join me? =)

Find out more about this movie!

Back in business!

2006-10-30T21:23:00.000+08:00

I'm finally back from hiatus. So many things have been going on during this period of non-blogging. My aunt's fiance came to Singapore during the month of June. So I had to show him around and entertain him, blah blah blah...

Then I had this work attachment thingy in July. Whatever spare time I have during August and September was filled with gym, training and kickboxing. Life was good...

Turned 21 this October. Had a lunch treat at Crystal Jade La Mian Restaurant from a new friend cum soon-to-be training team mate and then a dinner treat at Boon Lay Raja Restaurant from Mommy. I also received my gold necklace with the key pendant. Birthday cake was an extremely sinful chocolate fudge cake. Yummmm...

But what made me finally come back to blogging was today's training session. I felt that it was horrible. I didn't give my best and I hate to make stupid excuses but it was seriously due to the lack of quality sleep that I couldn't focus.

FUCK IT!

Darn! I think my instructor was kinda disappointed with my performance today. Oh well, he isn't the only one feeling that way. But then again, we had some funny moments too. My instructor was demonstrating one of the disarms and mentioned bout hitting the groin with an open palm. Then I asked him why can't I use my knee or foot to hit/kick the groin area since it would be more powerful and less embarrassing than using the palm. Heh...

And during the sparring session, there was a few things my instructor said that sounded very wrong.

"Steph! If your partner is a guy, just give it to him good! He probably deserved it and you are strong enough."

"Good! Oh yeah, give it to me."

"Yes! That's it! That's the way I like it."

Then of course, there were the occassional groans and moans and what-nots. Not to mention my bums hitting his bums a few times. GRRRrrr!!!

Oh well... I shall sleep early tonight and catch up on more rest. There's training tomorrow too. Sigh... Damn ligament injury put me out of high impact workout for the moment! Not to mention an outbreak of rashes on my upper body.

Not good lah! Not good at all...

Oh! Before I forget...

HAPPY
HALLOWEEN

Whooopeee!!!

2006-05-26T13:21:00.000+08:00

You Are a Hunter Soul

You are driven and ambitious - totally self motiviated to succeed
Actively working to acheive what you want, you are skillful in many areas.
You are a natural predator with strong instincts ... and more than a little demanding.
You are creative, energetic, and an extremely powerful force.

An outdoors person, you like animals and relate to them better than people.
You tend to have an explosive personality, but also a good sense of humor.
People sometimes see you as arrogant or a know it all.
You tend to be a bit of a loner, though you hate to be alone.

Souls you are most compatible with: Seeker Soul and Peacemaker Soul

What Kind of Soul Are You?

Ah... Hunter Soul? Kinda true.

*****

It is a beautiful Friday morning. The bright shining sun coupled with a strong breeze makes it a great day for swimming and suntanning. As usual, I sat at the jacuzzi, relaxing and just letting the millions of bubbles carry my troubles away. OOoooh... If only I was at an island resort like the Maldives. Umm... No problem. I'll just add Maldives to my mental list of places to go to in the near future. Anyone interested to go Maldives with me? =D

Anyway, seems like the spoilt bratty me is finally going to get what she wants. A holiday out of Singapore! Or rather, holidayS!!! Haha... Not going anywhere too far, but it beats being stuck here. Will be taking a total of 2 to 3 trips during the month of June. Sweeeeeeet! The Humps is going on a holiday! Hurrah Hurrah!!! (Pardon the tons of exclamation marks. But I'm really ecstatic ok?!)

Oh yeah! Watching The DaVinci Code tomorrow with my aunt. Gonna have Japanese food too. Been craving for sushi these past week. Pure bliss... Can't wait!

Things are certainly looking better for me! =D =D =D =D =D

*****

Something funny that I read from the June 2006 issue of Reader's Digest - Life's Like That :-

When I was at the hospital being prepared for surgery, the floor nurse asked, "Which eye is to be operated on?"
I answered, "The left eye is the right eye. The right eye is the wrong eye."

-William Shank

Sign posted in a Manila church:
"Please do not leave your belongings unattended. Someone might think it's the answer to their prayers."

-Elena Villacorta

*****

I had barely 4 hours of sleep last night. Couldn't sleep at all. Was tossing and turning in bed till 4 plus in the freakin' morning! Probably cos' I took a 3 hour nap in the evening, followed by a jog. Haha.. I needa catch up on my snooze now. Nights!

Post Home Alone

2006-05-23T13:11:00.000+08:00

And so the Mom is back. Went to the airport in my uncle's car to fetch her. But damn, my uncle was half an hour late. Anyway, we reached the airport just in time, cos' the plane had already landed. 15 mins later, the pieces of luggage was unloaded onto the conveyor belt. But Mom took another half an hour to get everything together before making her way out. Boy! I couldn't believe my eyes when I saw the tons of baggage she bought. Seems like she bought the whole of China.

Anyway, when she came out from the gate, I jumped on her, shouted "MOMMY!" and gave her a big bear hug. Haha.. Everyone laughed. Then I helped Mommy push her trolley and carried the luggage to my uncle's waiting vehicle. By the time we reached home, it was already 2-freakin-am. Then my sis and I waited for Mommy to unpack her luggage before we finally went to sleep at 3.30am. Ah... Mommy bought us clothes and lots of food.

Like I said, so the Mom is back and I am not away. That got on my nerves. So much so I lost my temper last night. Think I might have gotten up from the wrong side of the bed. I kinda grumbled and sulked and banged doors. All because of my delayed overseas trip and all thanks to people who cannot keep promises. I've been looking forward to the trip for a long long time just to have my hopes crashed. I hate it! I need to take a breather. I really need to get out of Singapore for a while or I might be tempted to call the Institute of Mental Health and get myself a place in there instead.

P.S: The next person to ask me why I'm still not overseas yet is gonna have my fist connected to his/her jaws. Especially the people who didn't keep their promises, you get twice the shit from me.

Waddafuck!

2006-05-20T22:52:00.002+08:00

Ok! It was a bad bad day today. Sucks to the core! Why?! Because some slacker parent spoilt my day. I had an hour lecture from the father on how to teach. What is wrong with parents nowadays?!

Honestly speaking, I was staring into space half the time during the lecture because the father kept on reiterating his points, resulting in a monologue that's going round in circle. Needless to say, the conversation went nowhere.

So by the end of the whole thing, the father was trying to say that his son is:-

Smart but needs to be allowed to speak up.
Extremely stressed by me.
Very fragile, needs lotsa pampering.

Sure sure, push all the blame on me, mister! Now let me tell you a few truths about your son.

He's somewhat intellectually disabled. His train of thoughts puzzles me too.
He's over pampered and much too lazy to do anything bout his studies.

I always tell my kids that I can only give you 50% help. The other 50% has to come from you, yourself. Intrinsic motivation, extrinsic motivation. Like, what the fuck? I need to change my tutoring methods? Again? I've tried to be patient with him, coaxing him, encouraging him, blah blah blah. It doesn't work. Fine! So I tried to be strict and firm with him and he goes crying to daddy and mommy. Fine!

Mister, obviously this fucked up grades your son attained has got a lot to do with his fucked up attitude and your fucked up parenting skills. Why are you so quick to jump to your son's defence?! Why do you fail to recognise/deny your son's low capability. I don't remember giving my tutors so much problems when I was young. There were just a few handful times when I rebelled and resisted. And they always ended with my Mom giving me a tongue lashing or a good spanking. Spare the rod and spoil the child, Mister! What I gather from his home environment is one where the parents always give in to their child's every whim and rushing to defend his every actions. Pray, tell me, how do you expect a child like this to pull up his socks and understand the importance of academic studies?

Not to mention, you failed to acknowledge my efforts in tutoring your son, which resulted in a significant improvement in his English grades. How demoralising is that?! Very. I am human too, I need to be acknowledged and credited. All you did, Mister, was to point out all the faults and push them to me and expect me to work out a miracle all on my own. Mind you, if I hadn't been strict/firm with him, pushing him to practice more, encouraging him and talking to him, doing everything and anything to get him interested and at ease, he wouldn't have improved on his own.

Bottom line is, in order for your son to improve, I need your full cooperation and not for you to work against me and fuck things up for me and then pin all the faults on me. Don't expect me to lavish your son with tons of pacifying and gifts. He wants praises, he wants gifts, he has to work for them. Work really hard.

Oh! By the way, I'm still charging you for that one hour of bullshit. *smiles*

1 more day till Mommy comes home!

Home Alone 2

2006-05-16T19:57:00.000+08:00

So this is the 6th day of being the head of the household and mother to an 18 year old baby. It's starting to grow on me. I am actually enjoying this sort of freedom! Haha.. I made dinner last night - meatballs with porridge. The two of us cleared the whole pot! We are pigs. I made dinner again, which consisted of 2 dishes and rice, this evening. Again, we polished off everything. Pigs are we. I spent about an hour from thawing the chicken to preparing the other ingredients to cooking them all on my own. I have improved! Muahahhaaha!!!

Dinner! Are you hungry yet?

Stewed chicken with baby carrots

Scrambled eggs with fishballs, mushrooms and tomatoes

My rice turned out more like dry porridge. Haha... I think I added too much water. Shall not make the same mistake tomorrow. I'm racking my brains over what to cook for dinner tomorrow. I've got eggs, prawns, dumplings, tofu, fish, ham, sausages, carrots, tomatoes, cucumbers and some canned food. Probably make soup and something else. Sheesh! There's still laundry to be done and floor to be swept tomorrow. Woe be me...

Damn the mozzies. I've got so many mosquito bites on me and they're itching the hell out of me. The worst part is these mosquito bites no longer disappear after a few days like they used to. Instead, after the swells go down, the redness still lingers and then it fades into a dull brown mark. *frowns*

Sigh... I cannot wait to go for my own holiday, even if it means I'm going alone.

5 more days till Mommy is home!

Home Alone 1

2006-05-14T21:55:00.000+08:00

Been a long time since I last updated. Busy, tired and lazy. So here's a brief summary of what's been going on in my life for the past few days.

Thursday - Woke up at 5a.m. Helped Mommy carry her luggage downstairs. Parents left for the airport at 5.30am in my uncle's car with Grandpa and aunt. Went back home and stayed awake till 7am. Fell asleep and woke up again at 9.30am. Went out at 10a.m to attend to some business. After which I was supposed to go to Yvonne's house to play with her niece but something cropped up at her side the last minute. So I went to the bookstore, got some good books and went home. Spent the whole afternoon reading. Dinner was instant noodles cos I was too lazy to whip up anything else. But my sis bought some roast chicken thigh home for my supper. Monkey called. It was a nice surprise. =)

Friday - Vesak Day. Was supposed to do laundry in the morning but there was no Sun until much later. Bah! Was also supposed to go Kbox with my Cousin. Yet again, something cropped up the last minute over at her side, so the Kbox session was scraped. Went over to Grandpa's place for lunch and prayers. Aunt did my hair, plaiting it Scorpion style. Went out again at 2.30pm. Came back at 5pm. Totally bushed! Went to sleep. Ended up missing dinner at Grandpa's. So I only had an apple and two cheese sausages. Then, I went for a jog. Did some more reading. Monkey called again. Wasn't really happy when he heard that I was going out with my friends the next day and not with him since he took a 1 week break from work.

The Scorpio. So nice! By the way, that's my natural hair colour.

Saturday - Sky was gloomy. Was debating whether or not to go Sentosa with my friends. Decided to take a gamble. Took a taxi and started raining cats and dogs during the ride. Luckily the sky cleared up by 1pm but the Sun didn't come out to play. *pouts* Anyway, we went to the beach and the rest played badminton, frisbee and volleyball under a big shelter. Me? I was feeling lethargic due to the cool weather. Played only badminton and a little volleyball and spent the rest of the afternoon reading a book. Haha.. Such a spoil sport. Oh well... But I got to know some new friends - a pretty athletic girl and 2 really cheeky boys. Haha...

Then went to meet my sis for dinner at 6pm. We went to Pizza Hut and I gave her a treat. We had a good girl-talk over pasta and some finger food. We were so filled to the brim by the end of dinner. Did some window shopping and even contemplated watching a movie. We flipped a coin twice and Fate decided that we should not go to the movies. So we went to do some more grocery shopping instead. I got molested by a Banglah outside the supermarket. As I turned to walk into the supermarket, that asswipe brushed his arm against my bikini clad breast. I turned around angrily and shouted "Fuck You!" He still had the nerve to smirk. I glared back. Then we went to the bookstore cos my sis wanted to get some stationery. Guess what? She got molested too! Guess who? By another Banglah. Wow! This does say a lot about these foreign workers, doesn't it? We both got molested on the same night by the same kind of shit. My sis said Asswipe 2 brushed his hand against her bums as she was bending down to get something. Geez! I hope these asswipes have their dicks shrink painfully to nothing everytime they feel sexually aroused. Anyway, I got more books and we both went home as soon as possible.

Mom called! Haha... I complained to her about having to do 5 buckets of laundry for two hours straight in the morning. It was back-breaking! She laughed heartily over the phone. Hehe... Before my sis snatched the phone away, I shouted into the phone that I missed her!

Sunday - Swimming and suntanning in the morning. Lunch and dinner at Grandpa's. Got a haircut from my hairdresser aunt. Tea break was a cup of homemade aromatic black coffee. Helped my lil cousin with his English stuff. Almost died of laughing and exasperation. Oh well... Came back home and spent an hour and a half ironing my dear sister's uniform. Tiring loh!

7 more days till Mommy comes back home!

Pre Home Alone

2006-05-10T11:20:00.000+08:00

White clouds, blue sky and sunshine!

I think the weather has been getting on my nerves. It is sickeningly humid and sticky warm. Makes my skin itchy and sticky and stinky! Not to mention an overly ~~oily~~ shiny face whose forehead is dotted with red pimples! Even the heavy downpours don't help. Sucks.

Anyway, Monkey and I resolved our issues two nights ago. I was about to fall asleep when he called. At first, I refused to take his calls. I only answered the phone when he called the third time. We had a good long talk. I am kinda irritated. He just had to tease me a lil and apologise profusely, and I was all ready to forgive him. Sigh...

*****

Mommy's flying off tomorrow. The sad thing is that I can't go to the airport to see her off because, with 6 people and their luggages, my uncle's mini van has got no more space for me. Get a bigger van! Haha... Damn!

I still remember the last time Mommy went on a trip out of Singapore without me, I fell really sick two days after. I think I was about 10 years old. I was running a high temperature and was alternating between feeling extremely hot and extremely cold. Extreme hot - I was perspiring buckets of water even with the fan blowing at me. Extreme cold - I was shivering even under a thick layer of blanket and my teeth chattered and my lips turned blue. I was then under the care of my paternal grandparents and aunts. My aunt brought me to see a doctor but still I didn't get well. Luckily Mommy went on a short trip to Indonesia and returned soon. She knew what happened and quickly brought me to some Chinese sinseh. Had to take some horrible tasting Chinese medicine for a few days, but at least I was well after that.

Conclusion: I cannot function properly without Mommy. Haha... I love her! I'm already counting down to the day she'll be home.

This time, I have got a huge responsibility on my shoulders. I'll be cooking, cleaning, washing and taking care of my ~~baby~~ teenage sister. All the household chores, not to mention waking up at 6 in the morning to prepare breakfast for my sister before she goes to school. I'm a young mother! That's why I deserve to be pampered during my own holiday after Mommy returns.

Okie! So before Mommy flies off, I am dragging her out to do some grocery shopping this evening. Gotta stock up food and basic necessities ok. Hehe...

List of things to buy for myself

Some lemons
A packet of rock sugar
Some cucumbers
Lip balm
Shampoo
Facial cleanser

Ok. I think that's all there is. Till the next time, toodles! =D

Yipee!

2006-05-07T11:54:00.000+08:00

Holiday destination? Checked!

Holiday accomodation? Checked!

Holiday itinerary? Checked!

Holiday budget? Checked!

Holiday period? Checked!

Holiday booking? Not yet...

Holiday companions? Still in progress...

Oh yeah! Oh yeah! My holiday plans have been more or less settled. Big big thanks to Mr V for agreeing to accompany me on this much needed relaxation trip and for inviting me to Sentosa next week! I feel so happy! I can't wait! It's been raining like forever in Singapore. Sickening weather...

I hope the sun comes out to play soon. Anyway, my friends are still welcomed to join me on my island getaway. Just confirmed with me by 12th May ok?

Anyway, like what my msn nick says:

There will be Sun, Sand, Sea, Spa and Stephanie!

This is the month of the S-s!

Mixed Feelings

2006-05-04T22:45:00.000+08:00

What I'm doing at the moment to keep me occupied.

"I want you to know it's a little fucked up,
That I'm stuck here waitin', no longer debatin',
Tired of sittin' and hatin' and makin' these excuses,
For while you're not around, and feeling so useless,
It seems one thing has been true all along,
You don't really know what you got till it's gone.
I guess I've had it with you and your career,
When you come back I won't be here and you can sing it.

Where'd you go? I miss you so,
Seems like it's been forever,
That you've been gone.
Where'd you go?
I miss you so,
Seems like it's been forever,
That you've been gone.
Please come back home."

-Fort Minor: Where'd You Go-

This song is just so apt at describing what I have gone through the past few days. A soothing and nice melody coupled with meaningful words make me hit the replay button over and over again. The song's pretty haunting actually. Oh well, I needa put the bad times behind me and concentrate on moving on. Then again, the holidays aren't helping much. I've got too much free time on my hands right now. For me, not being preoccupied at all allows my thoughts to run too wild at times. Besides, I can't actually go on a holiday overseas yet until Mommy comes back from her own overseas trip.

"Why can't you just let me
Do the things I wanna do
I just wanna be me
I don't understand why
Would you wanna bring me down
I'm only having fun
I wanna live my life
Like I wanna do

I'm tired of rumours starting
I'm sick of being followed
I'm tired of people lying
Saying what they want about me
Why can't they back up off me
Why can't they let me live
I'm gonna do it my way
Take this for just what it is"

-Lindsay Lohan: Rumours-

Haha... Damn funny! This afternoon a guy friend of mine messaged me over MSN asking the most ridiculous question.

Him: Stephanie, got a minute?
Me: Yeah.
Him: I heard from someone you are doing FL?
Me: *rolls eyes* If I'm doing FL, I think I would be filthy rich by now. Want me to show you my empty pockets?

For those of you out there who are not really familiar with this term FL, it is simply an abbreviation for FreeLancing or FreeLancers. A freelancer is a self-employed person working in a profession or trade according to Wikipedia. Adding to that, many sex workers are freelancers, meaning that they provide sexual favours in exchange for money.

The bottom line is I AM NOT doing FL. Goodness! Whatever or whoever put that idea into that someone's mind?! Actually I'm quite flattered that she should think I have what it takes to be a sex worker. So yeah, I have done things that I'm not exactly proud of, but these 'things' never involved monetary terms. But, I digress.

Anyway, my friend refused to tell me directly who was the girl who was spreading this vicious rumour because he had given her his word. But after much probing, he gave me some clues and I guessed it right. The girl even had the cheek to said it was I who told her that I was doing FL. Either she has an extremely fertile imagination or extremely severe dementia. I'm guessing both. And her reason for saying that I'm doing FL is that - brace yourself for this big joke - I saw her a few times at Jurong Point but didn't call her. Err.. Can someone kindly point out what's the link between the reason she gave and the conclusion she made? My guy friend also said he suspected this girl is witholding some information from him. After which, we cracked some really mean and stupid jokes about me doing FL. It was hilarious!

Oh well, I can't really be bothered about that. I'm not even gonna confront that girl either. At least, not yet. Guy friend said he would tell her off for me. Thanks!

Last, but not the least, the song to sum up my whole week -

"Where is the moment we need at the most
You kick up the leaves and the magic is lost
They tell me your blue skies fade to grey
They tell me your passion's gone away
And I don't need no carryin' on

You stand in line just to hit a new low
You're faking a smile with the coffee to go
You tell me your life's been way off line
You're falling to pieces everytime
And I don't need no carryin' on

Cause you had a bad day
You're taking one down
You sing a sad song just to turn it around
You say you don't know
You tell me don't lie
You work at a smile and you go for a ride
You had a bad day"

-Daniel Powter: Bad Day-

Yurp. I had more than a bad day. And like what the song says, (I) need a blue sky holiday.

Aftermath

2006-05-03T22:27:00.000+08:00

Never ever give me time to cool down in an argument.
Never ever expect me to do self-healing.
Never ever apologise when no actions were taken to rectify the problem.

You left me there like a lone alley cat licking its own wounds and you want me to believe that we should give US another chance because you are sincere?

No SMSes.
No calls.
No nothing.

And you wish for me to believe that you are serious about this relationship?!

You said tons of Sorries.
You made tons of Promises.
You gave tons of Excuses.

Yet I felt nothing, expect nothing, understood nothing.

Be strong, my heart.

*****

Sigh... So many problems lately, I even suffered insomnia for a few nights. That was enough to drive me insane. Well.. Almost.

I seriously hope that my sister can be more sensible and get her priorities right - Family before friends. She has to learn to realise that our family is just an average, normal, traditional Chinese-speaking family, and not her girl friends' kind of big, rich, influential, English-speaking family.

Why is she trying so hard to be like her friends? Be happy and be proud of who you are, where you come from. Your real friends will like you for your individuality. They will accept your flaws and recognise your strengths.

I needa take a holiday. Get some sunshine, smiles and laughter back into my life and chase away the dark clouds looming over my head. Oh well... We'll see. Ok, that's all for tonight. Time to watch The Queen of The Damned.

*swoons* Stuart Townsend aka The Brat Prince Lestat is so hot!!!

The Letter

2006-04-29T23:00:00.002+08:00

Dear Mike,

Something has happened that caused a change in our relationship. Maybe it's because of that issue. I have been having extreme mood swings for the past couple of weeks, alternating between being upset and being pissed off, neither of which is a positive emotion. You knew something was wrong, but neither of us could exactly pinpoint the root of the problem.

When was the last time I've called you my Baby? When was the last time we've actually met up? When was the last time we had a decent phone conversation? When was the last time I smiled as I drifted off to lalaland, thinking of you? How long more do I have to console myself that it was because you were really busy and I should be supportive and understanding? How long more do I have to keep up with the pretense that I'm okay and everything is fine when I'm not?

Anger is like this hot molten lava simmering within a dormant volcano, waiting to erupt. I am hurting inside but yet I can't say anything. I don't want to rant and rave at you. I can only vent out my frustration by sobbing everynight in bed. I'm even starting to lose sleep. Am I on the brink of insanity?

This cannot go on. I don't want to stay up till 2a.m each day to make sure you are home safe and sound. I wish I can call you whenever I have problems. I wish you would stop smoking and drinking so much for health's sake. I wish I could believe your words and trust you at all times.

Remember during courtship, you said you would try to like dogs because I love them? But now, you tell me you really can't stand them and you dislike animals. When I said I wanted to go on a cruise because I've never been on one, you said that cruises were boring (though you changed your mind later on and tried to accomodate me but I wasn't really keen on going on a cruise anymore). When I said that I was envious when I saw the rest of my coursemates busy calling/sms-ing their loved ones to bitch about the exams, you told me not to worry about the exams. What I really wanted to say was they all had someone to turn to, and you weren't there for me.

A guy friend once said: "That's what men are like. We lie, we cheat, we do whatever we can just to get ~~into the pants of~~ the girl we like. And after that, we don't really give a damn."

Is that what is happening now? Was it because I was courted so easily that I am not treasured now? Were all your promises just lies and nonsense that you babbled because you were under the influence of alcohol? Can you then blame me for distancing myself from you time and time again?

Noone is perfect. Since I've chosen to go into a relationship with you, I would learn and try to accept your flaws and your shortcomings. I would try harder to overcome my own flaws and weaknesses too. Like you said, I'm a stubborn girl. Should the time come when my feelings for you are not strong enough to embrace these flaws and sustain this relationship, then I guess we are better off as friends.

When the bad times overshadow the good times, does it mean it's time for us to go our own separate ways?

Love,
Steph

Ong Zai Zai

2006-04-26T19:49:00.000+08:00

In Loving Memory of

Ong Zai Zai,
You will be dearly missed.
You will always have a place in my heart.

She came into my life on 20th August 2004 and was only 2 months old then.
She was a glutton but never a fussy eater. I shared my food with her.
She loved soyabean curd, milk, peanuts, fishball crackers, cheese and bread.
She loved nibbling on my fingers but sometimes her hard nibbles drew blood.
She was a smart lil furball who loved crawling from my one arm to the other.
She also loved to crawl up my head, mess up my hair and sleep on my belly.
She would greet me and acknowledge my presence whenever I return home.
She squeaked when I flipped her over and tickled her belly.
She gave me loving licks and kisses on my lips.
She would rub her nose against mine.
She listened when I cried.
She brought me so much joy and laughter all this while.

As time passed, her thick luscious fur was reduced to a thinner coat. She lost quite a bit of weight and grew white fur behind her ears. But she was still as mischievous and greedy as ever.

I am going to miss the thuds of her falling on her back at night.
I am going to miss the kisses, the licks, the nibbles.
I am going to miss sharing food with her.
I am going to miss her company.
I am going to miss her squeaks.

I gave her all my attention and love and lavished all sorts of hammie luxuries on her. Perhaps, she left knowing that I have finally found someone else worthy of my love and attention. Sigh... Perhaps, I should have paid more attention to that big hard lump at her pee-hole that never stopped bleeding. It might have been a cancerous tumour which caused her death. Yet, she showed no signs of discomfort and had been eating well even till the day just before she died.

That night, movements became a problem for her usual active self. She was also having difficulty breathing properly. She didn't respond when I called her name and patted her. As hours passed, her breathing became more laboured and her eyes remained closed. Blinking back my tears, I continued to stroke her gently, telling her to go off to her hammie heaven.

She breathed her last and slipped away quietly into the silence of the wee morning hours on 25th April 2006.

Happy Birthday Dearest Sister!

2006-04-23T12:31:00.000+08:00

Today is a special day for a special someone.

Happy 18th Birthday, Lil Sister!!!

Yay!!! You can finally accompany me to watch M18 movies. Haha... Anyway, no matter what a nuisance you are, how idiotic you can be, you are still my dearest xiaomei! Hope that wisdom and sensibility come with age for you. May all your wishes come true in the many years to come.

*****

Last night, there was this insect that got under my shirt and crawled on my belly. Its size is twice that of a fruit fly. It is black in colour, has got a pair of wings and a body like a cricket. It also has got a proboscis like that of a mosquito. Anyway, I tried to kill it so many times, but it was super hardy and agile. It flew a little despite having wings. And I found out why when I finally managed to squash it.

Look at the splatter of red blood on the bottom left hand corner and the top right hand corner.

The freakin insect is filled with blood! Dead insect on the right side.

I've finally killed you! Bwahahahaha!!!

I don't know if it's a bloodsucker. But it sure has two different colours of blood in its system. One's red like mammalian blood and the other's greenish brown like common insect blood. Oh well...

I hate pests. Die, die, die! RAR!!!

Still unhappy

2006-04-22T23:24:00.000+08:00

I had a paper yesterday. And my sister wore my shorts to school by mistake. Got pissed off cos' I had no available shorts left. The rest had been washed up and being dried. Called up that lil' bugger and gave her a good tongue lashing. Fortunately one of the shorts got dried in the hot sun just in time.

Sigh... My fuse is short and my temper is getting from bad to worse these past few days. I am having extreme mood swings. I've already had 3 cycles of menses these two months. What is wrong with me?!

*****

Not to mention, I have been feeling rather upset with Mike these few days. First, I made a rather unpleasant discovery. Then, I'm feeling insecure. I am ready to throw in the towel and call it quits. It's difficult being in a relationship. I am sick of doubting myself and subjecting myself to all these crap. Yes, there are happy times. But I am an unsatisfied lass. I've got a problem with trust and commitment. WHY?!

I've never burdened anyone, but myself with my past. I have always been battling with the inner demons on my own. And the repercussions? Occasional outbursts of temper. People have described me as being full of crap. But they don't understand me. I am unfathomable. Even I have problems understanding me sometimes. But I pity Mike or anyone who is close to me. It is mentally exhausting to be in a serious committed relationship with me. Things are so unpredictable. I am so unpredictable.

"I don't know what makes you happy. You are so difficult to please."

A lady once enlightened me to the fact that it's not easy being at the helm of things. It's not easy being a prodigy. As you climb higher, your friends gets fewer. Not many people are of my calibre, not many people can understand. Perhaps, I am the one who is complicating matters.

I have said this many times -

I don't belong in this era.

And it's true.

I am, but a lonely old soul, wandering to find her purpose in life.

P.S: Please do not try to make sense of what I have written above. I am not liable for any brain haemorrhage that may occur.

Selfish me

2006-04-18T23:45:00.000+08:00

*stinks the blog with my perspiration*

Just came back from jogging. I know it's dangerous to jog at night. Lotsa people have been telling me that. Even Baby have been nagging at me. BUT, who in the right mind would want to attack an ugly girl who looks extremely capable of defending herself? Oh well...

Anyway, I overheard ~~The Bastard~~ someone making a phonecall to a travel agency to ask about air tickets to China. Yeah! An adult, my mom and her father and maybe some of her sisters too, are going to China in late May. What the hell?! My first reaction of course, was one of disbelief and shock. There're like so many diseases and crime and whatnot over at China and my mom's going over?! Well, yeah... So my sister and I thought of 1001 reasons to dissuade her from making the trip.

First, I worry bout my mom's health and safety. Then, I worry bout the household chores. Haha... Argh!!! Nightmare...

Oh, Baby gets jealous really easily. Then again, maybe cos' I caught him in a bad mood. Heh! AND, his parents are also going overseas in late May too! Wahahhaa!!! I can already smell what's cooking. He is excited! I am excited! I told him I'm worried bout handling the housework and he invited me to stay over at his place. HA! He thinks I don't know what's ticking in his mind. A maid by day, a bolster by night. No, thank you. =p

Then this thought hit me out of the blue. I am being very selfish. How can I hold Mommy back from going on a holiday with her father and sisters just because I am overly dependent on her?! I should be more supportive of her and encourage her to go on this trip while she can still move around. I should also see this in a more positive light and take the chance to be more independent. I can do it! =D

I think I shall fork out money and pay for her air ticket. It's a treat from me and she can go brag about it! Haha... Nah, Mommy's not that much of a braggart. My mom's a very noble woman and I've still got many things to learn from her.

All of us are as busy as a bumblebee... Sigh... Can't wait for the hols!

Yeah! Going swimming tomorrow. Okie! Gotta go bathe now, stinking up the whole room as well. Toodles!

Anger is a demon

2006-04-14T23:44:00.000+08:00

I am pissed. Very pissed.

Anger is like a wild mare that I have not yet mastered total control over.

Anger is a demon that destroys you from within.

I finally know where my sister has inherited her fuckin fly-aeroplane attitude from - my mom.

And for that, I have released the reins of the wild mare.

For that, I have unleashed the inner demon.

Hence, the people around me are bearing the brunt of my fiery temper. Some deserved it, some don't.

Anger has no eyes.

It sees not who it stings.

Anger has no heart.

It cares not who it hurts.

Anger has no limits.

It destroys all in its path.

I am hopeless.

***

"But I ain't no angel and have no desire to be. I am a devil and have evil thoughts. We all do. Only I show it more than you."

From Charlette's blog

How very well said. You are not alone, girl. Those are my exact sentiments.

Pessimist in me

2006-04-13T21:53:00.000+08:00

I have never thought myself to be a pessimist. It has never occurred to me that I view things so negatively around me. Yet, friends have been commenting that I'm not optimistic enough.

So this was what happened between Baby and me last week during our second argument.

Me: If you do see some other girl you fancy, just go ahead and woo her.

Him: .....

Me: I've got no self-confidence ok. I've got really serious self-esteem issues.

Him: Oh, so you mean you don't care? Even if there are other girls coming after me, you don't care? I see. Ok, I'm off to bed. Good night. Bye.

He didn't heard what I said earlier and neither did he give me a chance to explain. Baby loves jumping to conclusions. And that got me pissed. I know he was trying to test my reaction, to see if I'll get jealous or not. Before that, he was telling me about how this other girl was trying to get him to go out with her but he made it clear he had no intentions of going out with this other girl.

I smsed him to try to explain. But I was speechless. He replied that he was very disappointed with me, but he was waiting for my explanation. I ignored him for 3 full days, partially cos I was pissed and also because I wanted to concentrate on a test on the coming Friday.

Instead of getting all riled up and turning into the green eye monster, I told him to go pursue his own happiness. Is it wrong of me? Perhaps. But I know I'm not pretty, I don't have a good figure and I'm so tomboyish. In terms of physical aspects, I've already lost out to like 90% of the female population out there. I am scared to death of misplacing my trust. I am holding back so much. But am I to be blamed?! I've got my self-esteem whacked once. Further more, inner conflicts are such a pain in the ass. Everytime I see a pretty girl, I would be thinking - How I wish I've got a figure like hers, How I wish I've got such nice hair like hers, How I wish I've got such nice facial features like hers. I would even go to the extent of asking myself if Baby likes the girl I saw or not.

Fortunately, the argument was resolved on Friday night when we finally sat down to have a good talk. I don't want to go too much into the details but Baby was really very sweet and understanding. Too understanding that it was too good to be true.

Sooner or later, this relationship is gonna be wrecked by my own self-doubt. Sigh...

By the way, do guys really speak the truth when they are drunk?

*****

My cousin has been discharged from the hospital on Monday. All's well but she has to be constantly reminded not to move around too much. I still have not visited her at home since she was discharged. Work's catching up on me, but I should be visiting her this coming weekend.

Anyway, I should be on a short break again till end April due to assignments and exams. But do continue to check this space for sporadic updates. Oh yar! I desperately need another round of manicure and pedicure. But I need time for the nails to grow. My fingernails are bitten and the skin on da toes are so dry and rough. EWWwww... All right, back to my jogging routine. Ciao!

Quickie!

2006-04-09T11:52:00.000+08:00

Just a quick update on the past week as I've been pretty busy.

Had another argument with Baby on Wednesday. Moral of the story:- Don't risk the relationship by putting it to a test like that. Baby says I need to have more confidence in myself and faith in our relationship. I'm trying, I'm trying. Sigh... Conflict was resolved 2 days later. Details in next post.

My young cousin was admitted into the hospital on Thursday when the pain in her stomach became much too unbearable. Initial scan showed a 15cm cyst in the abdominal area. A surgery was needed to remove that cyst as soon as possible.

Took a taxi down to SGH immediately after my test on Friday. Cousin's surgery was arranged at a 1.30pm time-slot today. Alas, I reached SGH only at 2pm. Had an agonising 3 hour wait before she was wheeled out. The operation was a success. My aunt, her mom, heaved a sigh of relief. Poor aunt... Cried her eyes out the night before and was worried sick. We, together with my another cousin Madeline who is her sister, kept her company till 8pm. Then my mom, 2nd aunt and 5th aunt came to visit her. We left at around 9pm to fetch my sis from school.

Went to keep my cousin company again on Saturday afternoon. Met Yvonne while on my way to SGH. Cousin was looking much better, not so pale and was in the mood to joke and laugh. Haha... That was good. But she still need to be mindful of her surgical wound. And we had to constantly remind her to be careful. She said she felt like laughing whenever she sees my face. -.-" Is that a compliment? Haha... Baby says he is so proud that I am able to bring so much happiness to the people around me. And I'm so blessed to have him.

It's Sunday. I'm going down to keep my cousin company again. If all goes well, hopefully she can be discharged tomorrow. Cooked porridge for her today, but mom provided the ingredients. Haha.. But first, gotta go get some birthday pressies. Okie! Gotta run! Will update again soon.

A sexist joke

2006-04-03T19:21:00.000+08:00

I've decided to catch up on some leisure reading just now since I have some free time. Came across something really funny and unexpected in the March 2006 issue of Reader's Digest.

From Laughter, The Best Medicine
Three guys were fishing when one of them hooked a mermaid. She promised to grant each of them a wish if they'd let her go.

"It's a deal," the first fisherman said. "I'd like you to double my intelligence." Immediately, he began to recite Shakespeare's Macbeth.

"Wow!" the second man excalimed. "Could you triple my intelligence?" Hed'd no sooner made the request than he started spouting Einstein's equations on the theory of relativity.

"That's amazing!" the third fisherman yelled. "Quintuple my intelligence."

"Are you sure?" the mermaid asked. "You might not like the outcome."

"I'm sure. Just do it," the guy said.

He closed his eyes to wait for the wish to be granted and - poof! - he became a woman.

Contributed by Danny Hochstetler

WAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! Sexist, but still a joke nonetheless.

Whoever said women are a weaker sex?

Pffffft! =D

Dumb bloggers

2006-04-01T20:42:00.000+08:00

It is repulsive that beneath a naive-looking sweet facade lies such uncouth interior.

How very true the old saying of - Never judge a book by its cover - is.

As much as I hate to admit this, but this entry is posted for the sole reason of rebutting a ~~extremely stupid~~ very much misled and myopic blogger. Remember the post I did a couple of months back on stupidity? Stupidity irks me to no end. Besides, I am assuming this blogger to be around my age, but lacking a lot in the Department of Maturity.

Stupidity = No common sense

So I digress.

Anyway, there was this blogger who was ranting and raving 'bout what the big deal bout students wearing coloured bras to schoosl is. Gathering from what I read in her blog entry, she does not see the logic in the schools' objection to their students wearing coloured bras to schools. She also objected rather violently to the rule some schools set in order to deter their students from wearing coloured bras to schools.

"COME ON MAN, WHAT IS FUCKING WRONG WITH COLOURED BRAS?"

*takes a deep breath and struggles to keep in control* Well, my dear girl, there is nothing wrong with coloured bras, except that the outstanding colours of these bras may attract a lot of unwanted attention (ogling, leer grins, etc.) and may also lead to unnecessary troubles (sexual harrassment, molestation, rape, etc.). Sure sure, your rebuttal could be that I am making assumptions. But surely, prevention is better than cure, is it not?

"Come on la, they will just stare at them and then start to fantasize only."

*takes a deeper breath* Well well, I am going to assume again that you failed rather miserably in the Department of Human Behaviour. Then again, one need not take up psychology courses to know that the human behaviour is unfathomable. What if fantasies turn into reality? Not every human is immune to temptations. Besides, not every female is such an exhibitionist as you are.

"So you can imagine whole day teachers just looking at girl's boobs hoping it's coloured and then embarrass that poor girl by telling her to remove it and confiscate it."

*breathes in and out into a paper bag* Ok! Not all teachers are that euphoric to take part in such maniacal activities. On the contrary, it is the male teachers who are more embarrassed to have to avert their eyes from such sight. Neither are all teachers that free to wait in one corner and pounce on the student just to catch her for breaking the school rule. There may be a handful of bad eggs in the local education system, but let's not generalise here. Instead, have faith and trust in that the teachers know what is best for our students.

"Confiscate song song then give back all the colourful bras to the student when she grad ah? Or set up funfair then sell all the colourful bras to raise funds?"

*coughs and sputters* Wow, you sure have a very active mind, letting your imagination run so wild like that.

"Fuck man, if i were to be caught for such, i will call my father and then you will smell ba-wu."

*coughs and sputters again* Heh, that will only happen under 3 circumstances.
a) Your father is the Minister for Education.
b) Your grandfather is our dear Minister Mentor Lee.
c) In your dreams.

"Why can only wear white? Match the uniform ah? Then uniform green so can only wear green bra? SIAO SI BO?"

*injects a small dosage of sedatives* Ermm yeah, very siao (crazy). You are the siao one. Goodness, use a bit of common sense. The bottom line is, not to wear bras that has outstanding colours especially if the school uniforms are of a light colour or thin material.

"Protect and nurture your student, not rip them off their self-esteem and embarrass them."

*squeezes the stress ball* Well, isn't that exactly what schools are trying to do by discouraging students from wearing coloured bras to school?! Trying to protect them from the possibilities of having their modesty outraged and teaching them basic social etiquette - to look presentable when they go out into the working world in the future.

"Girls who wear colours other than white or grey are told to remove their bra, confiscated by the sch and then remain bra-less for the rest of the damn day."

Besides, I believe schools would not be so unreasonable as to go to the extent of making the culprits go bra-less for the rest of the damn day. Even if there was such a statement being made, it could be just to deter students from making the mistake but no such action will be really carried out. Or it could be just the words from a certain teacher and his/her words do not represent the school's decision on the whole.

Last but not least,
Reader S says - "Does wearing white bring moral upbringing to those kids? Does wearing white means they are good? Fuck la.. this is total rubbish ... just let them wear what them want."

Geez, that is purely your own speculation, your own wild imagination at work. Since when did schools strongly believe that the colour white means good and since when did anyone expect that wearing white coloured garments will 'bring moral upbringing to those kids'? If that is the case, then the uniforms of prisoners should all be white then. Yeah, your opinion is 'total rubbish'.

*****

To set the record straight once and for all, schools really have the best interests at heart for their students. You could have misinterpreted what the news article was trying to say, or the journalist could have misinterpreted what the schools were trying to say/do. Whatever it is, there is a serious miscommunication here.

I studied in an all girls' school for 10 years of my life, primary and secondary schools. My secondary school uniform was a white translucent top made of a relatively thin material. Day in and day out, some students, usually the sports girls, wore either ultra bright neon coloured or dark distinguishable undergarments. Soon, more girls including non-sports girls, also got caught in the frenzy of wearing bras with outstanding colours. My my, it did cause quite a stir inside and outside of the school.

The solution that my secondary school came up with was that students are disallowed from wearing these bras. The designs have to be simple and the only colours allowed were white, beige, light grey, light brown and cream. Any students caught wearing bras with outstanding colours would have to go to the school bookstore to purchase a set of white cotton bra for $3 a piece and change into it. Of course, several warnings were given before the rule was set.

I think I'll rest my case here before I go mad and start acting like this:-

Heh, I think I've got too much free time on my hands. Alright, shall go have my dinner and revise for an upcoming test on Monday.

Retro mood

2006-03-29T20:40:00.000+08:00

I'm in a rather retro mood today. Listening and lip-synching to the songs of this CD - Seasons of Love, Volume 2 - right now as I'm doing this blog entry. All because of this song I heard while on a cab today and I ended up humming along with the song while it was playing on the cab. The cabbie uncle rocks!

A World Without Love
by Peter & Gordon

Please lock me away
And don't allow the day
Here inside, where I hide with my loneliness
I don't care what they say, I won't stay
In a world without love

Birds sing out of tune
And rain clouds hide the moon
I'm OK, here I stay with my loneliness
I don't care what they say, I won't stay
In a world without love

So I wait, and in a while
I will see my true love smile
She may come, I know not when
When she does, I'll lose
So baby until then

Lock me away
And don't allow the day
Here inside, where I hide with my loneliness
I don't care what they say, I won't stay
In a world without love

(Please lock me away)
(And don't allow the day)
(Here inside, where I hide with my loneliness)
I don't care what they say, I won't stay
In a world without love

So I wait, and in a while
I will see my true love smile
She may come, I know not when
When she does, I'll lose
So baby until then

Lock me away
And don't allow the day
Here inside, where I hide with my loneliness
I don't care what they say, I won't stay
In a world without love

I don't care what they say, I won't stay
In a world without love

I can't quite remember when Mommy bought all 4 volumes of Seasons of Love. If I'm not mistaken, it must be about 6 years ago and I was already singing to them when Mommy first played them on the CD-player. I'm usually no sucker for lovey dovey sappy ballads. But the melody of this song just sounds so funky, so funny and so light-hearted, which is totally different from the crooning whiney pitch of love songs nowadays.

Not to mention how sexy all these singers of the oldies sounded with their deep husky voices. You really should go check the songs out! Yummy!

*coughs and sputters admist my belting of these oldies*

Haha... Sorry man! I know I'm still coughing and should be resting my throat but these songs are just so catchy and irresistable. Damn! I'm just born in the wrong decade.

MC again..

2006-03-28T12:47:00.000+08:00

March is a goddamn unlucky month for me.

*****

This is bad.

This is really bad.

This is really really bad.

I coughed last night. And I tasted the copperish taste of blood. I coughed a few more times, praying I was wrong. But the copperish taste lingered and grew stronger. Took a few big gulps of water to wash away that awful taste.

I really need to see the doctor.

So I slept at 3.30am after finishing my lab report and a revision essay. Woke up at 7.30am, wondering if I should go to school. Drifted in and out of lalaland till 8.30am and decided that I'll go to the doc's instead of school (which starts at 9am on a Tuesday for me - I'd be late anyway). Fell back into lalaland and got woken up by my mom when she called my mobile at 9.10am. Mommy said she'd gotten me a queue number 6 at the clinic and she will go do some marketing first, but I needed to be down at the clinic by 10am.

Dragged my arse out of bed, took a shower, had my breakfast and hopped on a cab. Went to withdraw $100 first before reporting at the clinic. Had to wait for another 25 mins before it was my turn. While waiting, some disobedient kids acting like retards irritated me to no end. One of them bumped into me and earned a soft mutter of 'sick fuck' from me. I don't understand why their parents don't bother to discipline them. If scoldings don't work, then it's time for harsher discipline like a good smack, right?

Anyway, Doc said I've been coughing for 3 weeks and counting. He said if I don't get better by next week, he's gonna order me to go for an x-ray. Gave me 4 types of medicine, of which 1 is a cough syrup, 1 is a 5-day course of antibiotics, 1 is for swelling and 1 is for the airway/asthma/cough. *winces* More rest, no heaty or spicy or cold food and drinks for me. *makes a face* But good news is, my blood pressure has returned to normal! Hurrah!!!

So much medicine... *flips*

By the time we were done and waiting at the bus stop for the bus, it was 11.05am. I was waiting under a tree and staring into space, when suddenly, spurts of warm liquid rained down on my head, onto my glasses and then my t-shirt. My first reaction was shock of course! Jerked a little and thought it was just morning dew from the leaves. Then realisation sinked in when I recalled the liquid felt warm and there were birds on the tree.

WHATTHEFUCKSONOFABITCHASSHOLE!!!

It was the bird's pee from one of them! And they were still chirping away merrily on the branches while I glared and grumbled at them. Grrr!!! Mommy just laughed at my predicament. I smelt the wet spots on my t-shirt just to make sure, but there wasn't any funny odours. However, later on, the wet spots turned kinda whitish against the maroon colour of my tee. Damn those birds! I couldn't wait to go home and bathe with all those news and talk about bird flu in neighbouring countries. Goodness... I was whining at Mommy to get a cab but she said we have already waited so long for the bus and were already at the bus stop. Bleah!

So I tried to be positive - at least they did not shit on me.

*****

I also want to give a big shout out to the peeps in school for helping me take notes and catching up on whatever lectures/tutorials I've missed out on. THANK YOU! All of you have been such wonderful darlings. Haha... Really thankful and sorry for imposing on y'all and for any trouble I've caused. =)

*****

Baby's coughing too. He said his doctor also advised him to go take an x-ray because he did cough out traces of blood. But Baby's refusing an x-ray. I'm worried sick. Because he is a smoker and he did not abstain from alcohol or ciggies and continued to go clubbing despite being sick.

I don't like to nag at him and I'm pretty pissed at him for reducing me to a worried and whiney old nag. Why can't you be a bit more sensible?! So old already and yet not know how to take care of yourself.

I don't like this one bit. =(

Quick Update

2006-03-27T23:15:00.000+08:00

RAWR!!!

*coughs and sputters*

I am still coughing my lungs out. I don't know why ok. It is irritating me to no end. When I breathe in, my throat feels ticklish and my chest feels kinda airy and cooling - I cough. Shucks! Mommy says if I continue to cough like that, I'm gonna get asthma. And she is nagging at me to go see the doctor. Ah...

The second thing Mommy is nagging at is that I am biting my nails. Seriously, I hardly bite my nails. But I have been doing it of late. Most of the times, I am unaware of biting my nails, until Mommy pointed it out an hour ago. She said nail-biting is a sign of being mental stress.

Conclusion: I'm sick - physically and mentally.

*****

These past few days I have been sleeping and eating a lot. Haha... I know I'm a pig. I've been slacking/procrastinating a lot too. Tsk tsk... Someone please help me dig out all the fat lazy worms under my skin. Thanks!

In addition, these two weeks have been like a fairytale dream to me. I've met a great guy. We hit off pretty well. He makes me happy. Alas, 4 days ago, we had our first ~~minor argument~~ misunderstanding.

At first, both of us tried to shrug it off and pretended that there was nothing wrong. Then I realised things couldn't go on like this because it was distracting me from my studies. So I decided to have a talk with him.

Him: So what's your decision?

Me: My decision is not to be stupid.

Him: Oh, understood. That's a good thing.

Me: Yeah.

Him: Go use your time to concentrate on other things instead.

Me: Heh. Ok.

Him: Yup!

5 minutes of silence...

Me: Anyway, thank you for making me happy for the past week. Haha...

Him: Huh? Were you? For the past few days, I've thought about it. I think I'm disturbing you. I am not the one that you wish to appear in the picture.

Me: Nah, I was really happy.

Him: I was happy too. But for the past few days, I figured that I'm just another of your many friends.

Me: Did you ask for my thoughts on that? I don't know about you, but I don't talk to my bestie about all my other friends. Because seriously, I don't want to come across as being a leech, and I don't mince my words. If there are issues, let's talk about it. Don't beat around the bush.

Because if you think things between us is not going to work out, tell me. Don't leave things hanging high and dry and hoping issues will resolve by themselves.

Him: Hey, actually I just want to know what you are thinking. I hope that things will work out but I don't know if you feel the same way. The thing is, from what I see, I thought you just want us to remain as friends. So I kept my distance from you. I didn't want to come across as throwing myself at you.

And yeah, we went on to talk somemore and trash things out. It was pretty ironical for me cos' I am usually the one to run away from problems first. However, I'm usually the emotionally stronger one in a relationship. Geez... Oh well, I think that made both of us understand each other a whole lot better and that was great! Both of us "kissed and made up". Haha.. I think he was so sweet to admit to being too rash to come to such a silly conclusion because I couldn't go out with him on some days due to other commitments. He was also so adorable when he said he didn't like to see me upset and apologised for the heartache he caused me. Sure takes a lot of courage for a big man like him to admit to his faults and apologise. Heh...

I must not let these honeyed words get to my head.

My baby's playing with his calculator at the Macs with his friend, both of them competing to see who can press the calculator faster, as I am typing this blog entry.

-.-" Boys...

Ok! Needa clear up some tutorials and lab report. Toodles!

Back again...

2006-03-24T12:37:00.000+08:00

It has been a Crazy month with a capital 'C'. Assignment deadlines were postponed, assignment deadlines were set back to back, a couple of tests, a couple of presentations and a lot of assignments.

And it didn't help with a cranky weather. Dry, extremely hot and dirty dirty air.

And so The Great Humps was down with fever, flu, cough, headache, blurry eyesight, blocked nasal tract, occasional nausea and a weak appetite for two whole weeks. I finally succumbed and had to see a doctor last friday cos' I was feeling so very bad.

Reasons why I like seeing the doctor:-

i) The doctor has got the same surname as me.

ii) The doctor is cute, handsome and is very nice and polite towards me and my family.

iii) The doctor does his best to make his patients well, very caring and professional.

Reasons why I hate seeing the doctor:-

i) Waste of time. I waited for one full hour before it was finally my turn.

ii) Waste of money. Paid $10 on the going-return cab fares. Had to pay $32 for four types of medicine, including antibiotics. Ok lah, that was rather reasonable, but still, I needn't spend this money if I was stronger.

iii) Adorable kids turn into irritaing, whiney, spoilt brats when they are at the clinic. I'm already feeling so lousy, and still these kids can run around, causing a ruckus. GRRRRrrr!!!

iv) The cute, handsome and kind doctor is married already. Booo!!!

So anyway, Doc proceeded to measure my blood pressure as usual. And usually, he would look up with a smile and give me an all-clear signal for normal blood pressure. But this time, he frowned and said "Girl, your blood pressure is abnormally high. Let's measure it again."

So, he measured my blood pressure a second time and it was still abnormally high. He inquired and I grimaced. How to have a normal blood pressure when I have not been eating well, getting enough rest/sleep and rushing out so many assignments?! To refresh your memory, I have been getting an average of 5hours of sleep per night three weeks ago. Then two weeks ago, it dwindled to an average of 4hours of sleep per night. If I'm lucky and efficient enough, I get 5 hours of sleep. If not, I get 2-3 hours of sleep only.

Doc sighed but told me firmly that no matter how potent his medicine is, without adequate rest and sleep, I'm not going to recover. I nodded groggily, said my thanks and left to collect my medicine. When I reached home, took my medicine immediately and hit the pillows. I wasted that night and the next morning, just sleeping and walking around my house aimlessly, doing nothing.

On Saturday night, I stayed up till 2am to finally complete an assignment. Thank Goodness! I set the alarm for 8am the next morning, but only dragged my arse out of bed at 9am. Started on the other assignment immediately and was sitting in front of the laptop for a full 19 hours till 4am before the second assignment was finally completed.

But no, it was not time to rest for the day yet. I stayed up for another 1 hour to get some project ready for Show and Tell. So by the time I got to my bed, it was already 5.15am - 15 mins to put on facial mask. Woke up at 8 to realise the fucking printer was not cooperating with me. Smashed my fist into the armchair and screamed in frustration. Yeah, was already on the brink of insanity.

Went to school to get all my assignments printed out and organised neatly to be handed in. By the time I had gotten to handing in my work, I was so exhausted. My face was flushed red and I was perspiring profusely - severe dehydration. My limbs were trembling and my legs were struggling to support the rest of my body. My replies to my tutors were soft and weak, and I was holding back, trying hard not to puke. My tutors' concern and motherly instincts reduced me to tears. I skipped classes for that day and went home in a taxi.

When I reached home, I went straight to bed and slept for 6 hours. Mommy had to go to the doctor for me to get me 2 days' of MC. During my 6 hours hibernation, Mike left me 6 sms and called me twice to check on me. According to him, I hung up on him when he first called me. I was surprised because I had absolutely no recollection of him calling me more than once. Haha... When he called me a second time, 2 hours later, I answered the call and we talked for a minute before I drifted back to lalaland again. Again, according to Mike, I sounded very weak and it scared him shitless when I didn't reply any of his 6 sms and hung up on him even.

*****

Right now, I am already 90% recovered. Coughing now and then and the mucus is still around. I can't wait to return to my swimming routine. But at least some good things turned out from this ordeal.

a) Mommy, although very naggy, had been extremely caring and supportive during this time. Thank you! I love you! Haha...

b) I lost a couple of kilograms. Time spent on sleeping > Time spent on eating

c) I realised how good it is to have someone, other than family and close friends, who cares so much for me and makes me feel so loved. Thank you, Mike! *hugs*

So this is what it feels like to feel for someone. I smile when I think of you each night before I sleep. You are the first person that comes to my mind when I wake up each morning. It also becomes a routine to check my mobile phone for your sms every morning. I know you've been worried sick about me, and now you yourself have fallen sick too. Please take care of yourself, baby. I don't like your irregular working hours. I don't like how you treat alcohols as water. I don't like the fact that you smoke heavily.

The fact that you are a heavy smoker and I am equally an extreme anti-smoker, holds me back from accepting you.

To the other, I know you are a nice guy. I know you like me, and I know I should reciprocate your feelings, and even more so because you are the epitome of a typical good man - don't smoke, don't drink, don't gamble, don't womanise - no vices. But there are times you are wishy washy and simply doesn't understand me at all. Oh well... There's still time to get to know each other better, right?

I am screwed...

2006-03-15T21:33:00.000+08:00

Can one ever feel like oneself is dying?

Wasting away, gradually but surely...

Because, I can.

I can feel that I am dying slowly, but surely.

And this feeling sucks.

Everything seems so off.

Nothing (even people) is helping.

Uneven skin pigmentation and ugly pimples popping up on my once almost flawless face.
Losing hair at a pretty fast rate.
Blurry eyesight after every lessons everyday.
Getting sick becomes a monthly routine.
Tightness in the chest, heaviness in the head.

For the past 3 days, I have been down with fever and the cough-until-your-lungs-hurt-and-your-throat-turns-raw cough. My voice has turned hoarse from the cough and the whole face is flushed red from fever. On top of that, I am not getting enough sleep nor rest due to all those infuriating assignments and the looming tests and exams up ahead.

I can't afford the time nor do I want to see the doctor. A waste of time, a waste of money. So for the time being, I'm on self-medication. I hope my voice can still hold out for one more day and my body, mind and soul can hold out for another 5 days. I've got a presentation tomorrow. I need my voice and my head - I need to be focused and deliver that extra OOMPH! factor in my presentation tomorrow.

So since, I'm so busy and am falling apart soon...

I think I'm better off dead.

But I'll be back again by next Wednesday, dead or alive.

*falls back into my rubies-encrusted, opal-studded and titanium made coffin*

Like a candle,
standing solely against the strong Wind,
I wonder,
when the bright lively flame,
of this Candle,
will be snuffed out?

Karma?

2006-03-12T23:57:00.000+08:00

It's scary how much you resemble Thomas.

It's scary how the past comes back to haunt me.

It's scary how strong the attraction between us is.

I don't like this one bit. It seems all too familiar. The teasing, the lust, the laughters, how much we enjoyed each other's company. I'm freaked out. I don't think my poor heart could take it if I actually believed your words and they turn out to be lies. Please understand and give me some time.

2 years ago, Thomas practically ripped my heart into shreds overnight and left me without any proper answers. Up till now, I couldn't find any reason why he did what he did.

I was left confused.

Hurting so bad I slashed my arms repeatedly, rubbed salt into my wounds and let the cold water run over them. I rocked myself back and forth, tears running down my cheeks as I desperately tried to find an explanation.

I don't ever want to go through that sort of shit again.

*****

Watched Underworld: Evolution with Sapph today. Haha... Kinda boring, but cinematography was good. I like old world stuffs so the movie appealed to me. But I could sense Sapph's boredom beating at me. So restless in her seat and was sms-ing half the time. Haha...

Then we went to walk around the mall, window shopping and talking as usual. She looking for a laptop cover and me deciding which mobile phone to get. Couldn't find the laptop cover she was looking for, while I got my N6111. Haha... Am having second thoughts now, was thinking that I should have gotten N70. Oh well..

We had this weird conversation:-

Sapph: So whatcha gonna do after this?

Me: Ah? Go home, of course! What else is there to do? Your boyfriend's meeting you what. I don't want to be a lamp post ok.

Sapph: So boring...

Me: What to do... I don't have boyfriend what. You never introduce guys to me also.

Sapph: Haha... Your school no guys meh?

Me: Ah.. Cannot make it lah. Besides, it's a bad idea - Never get laid where you get paid.

Sapph: Aiyo! You ah...

An hour later, I left Sapph in the good hands of her man and went home $268 poorer. Sigh... Can hear wedding bells ringing already.

*****

Those who know me, know I am pretty much antichrist. Seriously, I have never heard of any other religions that have to solicit/recruit believers and expand their legions, with Christianity being the only exception. Not to mention, how much Christians like to insult and look down at other religions. Goodness, how desperate can you people get? How rude and stupid can you be? How low can you go?!

Do you have to knock on each and every door in the neighbourhood to get them to join in your miserable gospel rallies?

Do you need to station your troops along the road and bus stops to harrass passers-by to attend church services?

No better than whores, ainnit?

If you can't respect other religions and continue to adopt that holier-than-thou attitude, I don't see why I should stop saying 'Fuck You' everytime I'm being pestered by y'all.

Back from break!

2006-03-09T17:37:00.000+08:00

*crawls out from the grave*

I'm back!!! Missed me? Haha... The past few weeks have been hell! After bout' 5 days of catching up on sleep, good food and my favourite activities, I'm finally feeling like a human again. Haha... I'm back!

But unfortunately won't be back for long. Heh! Gonna disappear again now and then to finish up on the rest of the assignments and projects before the semester ends. And after that, there're still countless tests and exams. *faints*

*****

Screwed up my test on Monday. No difference whether or not you studied for that test. BAH! Then went to watch a movie with Candice after school. Had dinner before the 7.05pm show - Final Destination 3. This movie is definitely not for the faint-hearted and those with weak stomachs. Too many gory scenes, but always the same ol' plot. I pretty much enjoyed it, but Candice was grossed and freaked out. Haha... Was totally bummed out by the time I reached home at 9.45pm.

Yesterday had some time to kill before going off for an appointment. So I went to Jurong Point and jalan jalan (walk around). Did some window shopping and had this strong impulse to just go get my new mobile phone and upgrade my line. But I held back cos' I wasn't sure which phone I wanted. Sigh... BUT! I got some pretty good bargains from Royal Sporting House which had a this removal sale and discounts up to 60%!!! I bought 4 pairs of Reebok shorts which were going at a price of $19.90 each instead of the usual $29.40. Oh, am wearing one now as I'm blogging this post. It's uber comfortable! Hehe... Then I went to Popular to get some marker pens, colour pencils and blue pens before going off.

Retail therapy is only for the richies.

*****

What can you do with -

i) 2 pieces of frozen hashbrowns
ii) 2 eggs
iii) 2 slices of ham
iv) 1 can of clam chowder
v) 1 slice of cheddar cheese
vi) 2 teaspoon of butter
vii) some olive oil, a dash of pepper and a tablespoon of milk ?

Make lunch, of course!

Sinful, very sinful...

Campbell's Select - Clam Chowder

Ham 'n' Cheese Omelette and 2 Hashbrowns

Damn fattening! I know. But I do need to replenish my energy from all those hellish weeks and the swimming I had before I came home at 3.30pm today.

Ok ok! Maybe I did over-replenish. Hiak hiak hiak... And good thing my sis helped me finish it with a few big mouthfuls.

So anyway, I prepared all this in under one hour. Not bad right? Haha... Anyone wanna hire a maid to cook and prepare all his/her meals? Hire me!!! $50 per hour - You provide the ingredients and I provide the culinary skills.

Swimming is just so very therapeutic. I know I've said that before. So, I want a big jacuzzi in my apartment in the future. Let all the bubbles carry away all my troubles, worries, stress and lethargy after a hard's day work. Let me and my Significant Other spend some good ol' quality time in the tub. OOoooh...

Ok! Time for a catnap now! Meow... Ermm.. I mean - Ciao!

My orbitury

2006-03-02T14:31:00.000+08:00

NEWS FLASH!

Blog owner of desaricious.blogspot.com, Stephanie Dara, was officially pronounced dead this morning at 10am by the local coroner of blogtown.

The lifeless body of Stephanie Dara, who goes by the online moniker - Humps, was found slumped over the laptop on the table at her home in Singapore Blogosphere. A, her brother, was the first to discover the body. He tried to feel for a beating pulse but was distraught to find none and proceeded to give her CPR. Immediately after the failed attempt at resuscitating her, he then immediately called for the police and an ambulance.

A preliminary autopsy report suggests the cause of death to be stress related. Further autopsy done confirmed the cause of death as Brain Haemorrhage. The Chief Medical Examiner suspects that excessive assignments and projects with vague and inconsistent requirements and ridiculous deadlines, and lack of sleep could have caused the demise of this young lady.

It is believed that such a death was the first of its kind in Blogosphere. A strange letter, believed to have been written by Stephanie Dara herself before she died, was also found on the coffee table at her home. The contents of the letter are as follow: -

"Dear family and fellow friends,

These school assignments and projects are leaving me with an average of less than 5 hours of sleep per day for the past 2 weeks. The need to excel academically and its stress are taking a toil on my mind, body and soul. It is a pity that I will have to part with you soon.

Please, do not grieve for me, for I will be gone for only a short while. Just leave the television on and prepare a table full of good food and drinks and I shall return to life in 7 days. Take care. Till then, goodbye!

Love,
Stephanie Dara "

Will she really be resurrected next week? Only Stephanie Dara would know. Meanwhile, the police have classified this as a case of unnatural death. Further investigation has been put on hold till further notice due to the nature of the above mentioned letter. Nevertheless, her body has been released from the morgue and collected by her family. It is to be buried tonight at 12mn sharp. Burial cum memorial service will be held at the Blogtown Cemetery. Members of the public are also welcomed to attend.

Fucking Stress

2006-03-01T22:41:00.001+08:00

Man for the sake of getting a living, forgets to live.

-Margaret Fuller

I am still very stressed. So stressed that I actually overslept this morning by a full hour and twenty minutes last night despite sleeping much earlier than my usual 3am for the past few nights. Besides, I have no recollection of waking up to switch off the alarm on my mobile at 7am. Mind you, lessons start at 8.30am today. Of course, I was late. Freaking late!

Jumped out of bed and rushed to the bathroom immediately. Did my business, brushed my teeth, washed my face, bathed and shampooed my hair in a record breaking time of 15 minutes. Wrapped the towel around myself and rushed back into my room, throwing on a t-shirt and a pair of shorts hurriedly. Then, packed my bag in a haste, grabbed my breakfast from the table and rushed downstairs to hail a taxi. By then, it was already 8.45am.

Went downstairs and saw two men waiting to take taxis too. One was on crutches, the other was in the Shenton Way dress code. So, I decided to take a bus to Jurong East Central to hail a cab. Infuriating ok! When I alighted the bus, I tried to get a cab but saw that the opposite side had got more available cabs driving past. Thinking that I would be able to get a cab more easily if I was on the opposite side of the road, I crossed the overhead bridge. Then, it was like Fate was playing a joke on me. Now the available taxis are all on the other side of the road where I was standing less than 5 minutes ago!

RAR!!!

Waited for another painstaking 10 minutes. Luckily, a cabbie uncle spotted me and made a U-turn to where I was and I was on my way to school. Gobbled down my breakfast on the 10 minutes journey. By the time I reached class, it was 9.20am! Felt really nauseous from all those stress, hurrying and worries. Then I heard from my friend that the tutor was asking if anyone had seen me earlier on. Heh...

That said, lessons ended at 11.30am today. So I went swimming after that to destress. The sun was merciless, but oh so goooooood. Water was fine too. After a few laps, I went to the jacuzzi to suntan and relax, letting all the bubbles massage my aching body and soothe my weary soul. Of course, there were eye candies around, both males and females. So I treated my eyes to some 'ice cream'. Hehe...

Closed my eyes and just enjoyed the serenity for that moment. Then two girls came to join me. They talked about their work and all while I continued my dip. Then I overheard them say...

Girl A: Ermmm... My breasts very small leh.

Girl B: Haha.. Yar loh!

I opened my eyes a little and saw that they were looking at my breasts that were clad in bikini and were comparing theirs with mine. I tried my best to keep my face straight but they continued to make fun of their cup sizes and were giggling.

Girl A: You think her breasts how big ah? Got B cup anot?

Girl B: What B cup?! B cup very small leh! She is at least a C if not a D cup size loh.

-Pause-

Girl B: You can buy push-up bras mah. Increase your cup size. Haha..

Girl A: Cannot lah! I am really flat loh! I got no breasts! Hahaha...

Then my face contorted from all those repressed laughter, but it must have looked really hilarious because the girls burst out laughing so loudly when they looked at me.

Oh well... I'm blessed with beautiful assets like that and am well-endowed. Thank goodness for these 'little' things in life.

Swimming really did a whole lot of good to calm my frenzied nerves and drive away some of the tension in my body. It is so therapeutic. Aaahhh... But the funny thing is, I actually brought my coursebook along to the pool to read while I was suntanning. Haha... Silly me!

Came home and slept some more. Now I feel all so refreshed and ready to face the challenges once more!

RAR!!!

Found a quote which I want to give to my tutors:

Take rest; a field that has rested gives a bountiful crop.

-Ovid

Please be clear and consistent in your requirements for assignments, projects and assessments. It would make life a hell lot easier for all of us.

To my project/assignment group mates:

For fast-acting relief, try slowing down.

-Lily Tomlin

Please don't heap anymore unnecessary stress on me. Trust me, I know what I'm doing. I set my own pace and I will always get things done within the required time frame. If I break down and go insane, it won't be good for any of us.

Understand?!

I am not Beauty, I am the Beast.

2006-02-26T23:38:00.000+08:00

I don't know where to start. Neither do I know how to address this issue.

I don't feel that I should apologise. Because it was never my fault to start with.

Is it a curse or a gift? I have yet to come to a conclusion.

I am a woman. Yet I do not feel/act/speak/think like one most of the time. Maybe it is due to the environment I am in, plus all the rough patches I've been forced to go through. I wasn't given many chances to be a woman.

Circumstances depicts that I should be a man encased in a woman's skin in order to survive. Lethal combination, no? The strong mentality of a man and the physical lure of a woman is more than anyone can take. Needless to say, I view myself as a freak.

Yet, some people find this Freak attractive. Or at least, they are curious and mesmerised by what the Freak writes on this blog and her online persona. They expects her to be a stunningly beautiful lady who is very 'happening', and have no problem with self-esteem.

I only have one thing to say - I'm not all that you expect me to be.

To describe myself in 5 words, I would say - I am very screwed up.

I have no wish to agree to something which I know for sure I would end up kicking myself in the ass over.

I am not Beauty, I am The Beast.

*****

Ask me what I want in a relationship now, and I have not the slightest idea. I'd always thought I have at least an inkling what my Significant Other would be like. But now, even that has seemed to vaporise. Haha... I'm hopeless.

I've lost the ability to love another, much less sustain a relationship.

Inner conflicts.

Parasites living in your mind.

I wish..

2006-02-23T23:25:00.000+08:00

This sucks! Intersem break is coming to an end and I am still stuck with so much assignments, projects and revision to do!!! It's neverending. *pulls at whatever hair I have left on my head*

No wonder my menstrual cycle is going haywire too. I had my period at the start of this month, and three days ago, my period came again. Sigh...

*****

Anyway, I went out this morning to do some business. Took a cab to wherever I was heading to. As usual, the cabbie uncle made small talk with me in a mixture of the hokkien dialect and mandarin.

Cabbie Uncle (CU): Wah! I actually wanted to turn left, but I saw you standing by the roadside, hailing a cab, so I quickly turn right. Heng ah..

Me: *give a big grin* Haha.. Oh is it? I see...

CU: Aiyo! You don't know ah.. Nowadays very difficult to make a living out of driving a cab in Singapore.

Me: *frowns* Umm.. Ok.. But Uncle, despite the oversaturation of taxis ah, sometimes I gotta wait so long for taxis. Sometimes, I can't seem to see any available taxis around.

CU: Tsk tsk.. You people forever so many complaints. Can never be satisfied one. You must understand us cabbies and be patient. Of cos, you have to wait for available taxis lah! Then what you want?! The moment you stretch out your hand, can hail a taxi immediately ah?

Me: *smiles politely* Umm.. Of cos not... But...

CU: *interrupts rudely* You say correct or not?! Not that Uncle want to grouse ah, ...

And yeah, you get the idea. So many times I wanted to elaborate and explain my words, he cut me off immediately. So obviously, I got the hint and let him rattle on while I watch the cars, trees and buildings pass by me on the road. After a while, he realised I was not responding, and his monologue kinda died off too.

Silence is golden.

However, my happiness was short-lived.

CU: What are you working as now?

Me: I'm a student.

CU: Wah! Still a student ah? Where are you studying at?

Me: A local university.

CU: Oh, no wonder. Still young lah. Give you another ten to twenty years to gain work experience in the society, then you will understand how Uncle is feeling now. No lah, I think another you will see my point in another five years.

Me: *smiles politely again* Orh.

CU: Luckily, my children are all grown-up already. I am driving a taxi now so I won't add on to my children's burden.

Me: I see.

CU: Still so young, no wonder you keep quiet and have nothing to say. Young lass, count yourself lucky to have met me and heard my words of wisdom. I am giving you a very valuable lesson now ok. Don't let my words enter one ear and exit from the other ah.

Me: Ok, Uncle. $5.70 right? Thank you. Bye.

Is that convincing enough, proof enough, that I am the type of girl you can bring home to meet your parents? Then what are you waiting for?! Grab StephieD now while she is still available!

Bad example of a sales gimmick.

Ok, after settling my business, I went to get some freshly baked Famous Amos cookies for my friends to thank them for lending me a helping hand. I seriously have no idea which type of cookies my friends like. Hence, I trusted my intuition and got them each a bag of mixed Chocolate Chip & Pecan cookies and Chocolate Chip & Macademia nuts cookies. Ermm.. Kinda burnt a hole in my pocket, but was well worth it. Then I happily took the cookies and went to meet them at their workplace.

Needless to say, we were all euphoric to see each other after a long time. Saw their new working cubicles and they were awesome! And my intuition was spot-on! They love the type of cookies I got for them. Haha... I am such a genius. Sat down to have lunch together and had a little chit-chat. Wasn't able to stay long because I wasn't a staff there, so I left after an hour.

After which, I went to my aunt's place to help my little cousins with their CA1 revision and also to catch up on whatever work I have to do.

So stressed. I am sooooooo stressed.

I wish I could be like my Xiao Dou Dou...

Life is all about food, play and sleep.

Hakuna Matata.

I wish.

Quiz

2006-02-21T01:18:00.000+08:00

Stephanie Dara Ong --

[noun]:

A person of questionable sanity who starts their own cult

'How will you be defined in the dictionary?' at QuizGalaxy.com

I told you so.

Stupidity is an incurable disease

2006-02-19T21:30:00.000+08:00

I still remembered what my GP tutor always loved to say.

"Stupidity is an incurable disease."

So why am I suddenly reminded of this phrase? Well, surfing the Internet for interesting reads has become a nightly activity for me. Due to my ~~intelligence~~ resourceful nature, I dug up some stuff that got my attention. And I will not give you the links here, because the rubbish written there is absolutely not worth your time. But if you are really interested to know, leave me your email address at my tagboard, and I will get back to you as soon as possible.

Anyway, I've always wanted to write a disclaimer for my blog. Yet, I have no idea how to go about writing it. Besides, it is kind of troublesome to write one. I mean, my blog is like an online diary, an avenue for me to let out my frustration, to pen down some of my innermost thoughts and for me to spew nonsense and humour those who chance upon it. Hence, I see no need to have a disclaimer for my blog.

So what I came across made me realised that there are indeed people who have an IQ of negative digits. Anyone or anything with half a brain should be able to point out two things about me through this blog.

1) MY blog is dedicated solely to MYSELF, and NOT others. I blog for MYSELF, to express MY thoughts. I get my blogging inspirations here and there, so I don't blog just because of certain person(s). Don't flatter yourselves too much. So get this through your thick skull(s) - MY life nor blog does NOT revolve purely nor solely around a certain person(s).

2) Take 90% of what is written here with a BIG pinch of salt because Stephanie Dara is one hell of a crazy bitch. If you are offended, by all means, leave me a message on the tagboard to clarify. If not, the exit is just one click away. Just don't make illogical assumptions which will make u end up looking like the world's dumbest fool.

Phew... Thought I needed to get that off my chest. And there, I've typed the words in bold for easier reading and hopefully, better comprehension. If you still don't get it, it would be wise for you to just shrivel up and die off.

*****

Pet Peeve 1: I cannot tolerate stupidity.

Pet Peeve 2: I hate cab-snatchers.

Was supposed to go swimming this morning. I woke up late and was unable to drag my arse off bed in time. So by the time I left home, it was already 10.25am. I wanted to catch the rays of the morning sun still, so I decided to hail a cab. 10 minutes later, there was still no available cabs. Instead, a woman her late thirties (A for A-hole) appeared then. She chose to stand at a spot 4.5m in front of me to hail a cab.

Makes me doubt her eyesight. Now now, I am not a girl of petite size. 4.5m is a freaking short distance! She must be as blind as a bat not to be able to see a tanned and full-figured girl at such a short distance. What got me fuming away was the fact that she got an empty cab in less than 5 minutes, and I was left standing under the hot sun again.

About 5 to 10 minutes later, there was this group of mother with her two grown up teenaged children that came and stood at the exact same spot A occupied a while ago. Now, they did look in my direction every few minutes. May I ask, aren't 3 pairs of eyes better than 1? Yet, they are shameless enough to flag for every passing cab that comes our way when I have been at the exact same spot for nearly half an hour. My middle finger was already curled and half-protruding from my fist.

So yar, in the end, I just gave up and went home. Yes, you may ask me why don't I go to them and give them a piece of my mind? Well, I just wasn't in the mood for a confrontation. Besides, it's just swimming. If it was a typical school day and I'm late for my lessons, I would definitely give the cab-snatchers many pieces of my fuckin mind.

Oh well, I failed to get my weekly dosage of the sun and the water and thus, ended up in a rather cranky mood for the whole day.

*****

Another mindfucking issue - Parents of younger children nowadays are pampering their little ones far too much, so much so, they are becoming myopic and unreasonable.

First, they complained that learning the Chinese language is too freakin difficult. Ok, so the Chinese syllabus was changed/revised.

Then, they hope that schools will act as childcare centres whereby it will be more convenient for them to pick up their children at anytime they can/want/like. And they wouldn't need to spend that extra money hiring a maid or paying for a childcare centre.

Now, they hope that the schools' morning sessions can start at a later time because their little precious can't wake up in time and it pains them to see their little precious 'suffering' in the wee hours of the morning. Or it could be a bother for these parents to wake up earlier than their little precious so as to get them prepared for school.

I've gone through my primary school life of waking up at 5.45am, studying the very old Chinese syllabus and going home at the designated timeslots, without a hitch! I didn't even need a maid to help me, or my parents, or my grandparents or my aunts. And I grew up to be a strong, healthy, intelligent and somewhat independent young lady.

Parents, if you find it such a chore/hassle to send your kids to school, then do homeschooling or migrate elsewhere. Or worse comes to worse, don't have children. If you want to have a child, be prepared for a lifelong committment. A child is your own flesh and blood, your own responsibility; and not a goddamn Tamagochi toy which you can pass around the responsibility of caring for it to others.

A child will only stay cute for the first 10 years, or fewer, of his/her life.

After that?

Go figure.

Fuck U, Valentine!

2006-02-14T18:45:00.000+08:00

What's the big hoo-ha bout Valentine's Day?! I just don't get it. Metaphorically speaking, I really don't get love/boyfriends/warmth/roses/chocolates on Valentine's Day. Ok, so I digress. It's just another typical 24 hours day. Anyway, I'll just admit to being a sore and bitter bitch who has got no dates and loving on Valentine's Day. VD = Valentine's Day = Venereal Disease and Cupid's spreading it.

I've still got tutorials to attend in school today. 3 tutorials to be precise. I don on a black t-shirt and a pair of black shorts to mourn this dreadful loveless day. 1st one up was Language Arts. As usual, Zee was late again. But mind you, the moment she stepped into the room, all eyes (including my tutor's, yes! My female tutor!) were on her, for a split second, before lesson resumed its normal pace. Reason being, Zee dressed up for Valentine's Day!

Zee always wears jeans/bermudas and a t-shirt to school. She also wears her spectacles, never wears makeup and carries a backpack. Today, she just transformed into a hot babe! She put on makeup and wore her contact lenses. She also wore this black, laced, figure-hugging top with a denim-miniskirt, complete with a small chic brown handbag. I kept stealing glances at her and we were both grinning away at each other.

Then, there was a one hour lunch break. It was horrible. I couldn't even have my lunch in peace cos' there were too many things on my mind. Was talking business in between mouthfuls of chicken chop with spaghetti during lunch with Liza, going through the details of our project group's showcase. After which, I was frantically calling almost everybody in my mobile's contact list cos' I had not printed out my other tutorial notes and time was running short, but all of them were kinda busy too. Bummer! In the end, I was also rushing to finish my lunch, and then rushing of to my next tutorial class.

Biology lab session was fun! I am in love with my bio tutor. He is such a witty and knowledgeable man with a good command of the English language. But too bad he's married. Damn! Too bad I'm only having him for two tutorial sessions because tutors are being rotated among the different tutorial groups. Boohoohoo!!! Was examining some bacteria specimens under the microscope today when I had a question. He was standing so very close to me as he looked into the objective lens of the microscope. So close that I didn't dare to breathe. Haha... So yar, needa examine loads of stuff - fungi, bacteria, reptiles, crustaceans, molluscs, etc; and then make sketches of them. My coursemates love my drawings and my tutor and the lab tech praised my sketches too. Haha.. So proud of myself. Will upload and share the pictures when I'm finished with the lab work.

During bio lab session, I was still busy sms-ing my frens to see if they were able to help me print out an extra set of tutorial notes. Luckily, I found Osman. He was my lifesaver for the day! Such a darling k. He replied 'Ok! No problem. Will meet you outside the tutorial room at 2.30pm.' I swear I almost cried with relief. He was a lil late, but it was ok. He passed me the tutorial notes and even refused to accept any payment from me, saying it was ok. OMFG! I almost blinded him with my 1000 megawatt thankful grin that lit up my entire face. Haha... I thanked him profusely and gave a mock kowtow.

When lessons finally ended at 4.30pm, I smsed my sister and asked if she wanna meet for dinner. She replied that she had a lot of work to do and didn't know what time she'll be home tonight. I replied that no matter how busy she is, she still has got to eat. And she replied some rubbish which I couldn't make any sense out of. So I replied her asking if it was a yes or no for dinner and I got no reply. And so I tried calling her, not once but 4 freakin times when she answered at last.

Background was noisy, so I asked her where she was. In town, she answered. In town doing what? Went out with my friends. You lil shit! Thought you had tons of homework not completed yet, still can go out with your friends?! Sorry, was all she could say. So are you still meeting me for dinner? No, sorry. Then couldn't you at least bothered to send me back a sms to confirm the dinner 'date'? Sorry, very sorry.

The problems with my lil sis, is that she places her friends above her family and she doesn't keep her words. So many times she had asked me to accompany her to do this and that. And when I have set a day aside for us, she couldn't make it. Why? Because she's going out with her friends, even when she is sick. Tell me, can I not be pissed with her? I even suggested Japanese cuisine for dinner, instead of Pizza Hut which was what she wanted but hesitated because of her sore throat and recent bout of fever. This is so very disappointing.

I'll prolly not speak to her for this whole week.

Anyway, this was what I drew in my organiser despite the lack of activities planned for today.

Fuck you, Valentine! Fuck you! =)

Sex and The City

2006-02-10T22:37:00.000+08:00

Ashes to ashes,
Dust to dust.
What's done is done,
What's passed is past.

Formed this lil catchy poem when I was taking a bath this morning. Haha..

*****

Anyway, this is another mindfucking session, as usual. And as usual, I wasn't able to get to sleep last night cos' of that 5 hours nap I took earlier in the afternoon. And as usual, I decided to while my time away, blog-surfing till 1.30am. So as I was blog-surfing, I came across a local blog which was dedicated mainly, but not solely, to the blogger's (let's call him C, shall we) sexcapades. The point I am trying to make is that, the link of this sex-blog was on a completely innocent-looking blogsite of another local blogger, and that just threw me off.

I disapprove of casual sex, and even more so, frown upon an 'open' relationship. Be it a FB, fling or Significant Other, as long as it involves physical intimacy, I still believed in monogamy. Anyway, C is an attached guy who loves the female anatomy very much. Yet, not only does he have regular sexual intercourse with his girlfriend, he also has countless physically intimate relationships with most of his female friends. C's main blog has got explicit details 'bout his romps and carries a link to his sub-blog, which is set up purely to showcase his talent in writing erotic literature about his sexual fantasies.

After reading both of C's blogs, I am greatly troubled, disillusioned and disheartened. He claims to love his girlfriend very much and that she is able to give him what he needed in bed. Yet he has no qualms about jumping into bed with another woman, a different one, every other week. So what's the world coming to? Am I the only one who finds it baffling comprehending the mindsets of 'youngsters' nowadays?

Well yar, this is not the first time I've came by a sex blog, local or not. So why do I choose to speak up only now? Because I've had had enough. Yes, the dick belongs to him, he is free to do whatever he likes. No, the size of his dick seems bigger than the size of his conscience. Yes, it's his blog and he can write whatever he wants. No, he still has got to fulfil something called social responsibility. Yes, if I don't like what I'm reading, bugga off. No, he could set a password and make his blog a private one, giving out the password only to others who share his interest. Yes, it's good not to limit your choices while you're still young. No, you needn't go so far as to go on a sex rampage. Yes, it's ok to blog bout how you and your wife/husband/girlfriend/boyfriend had sex today. No, it's not ok to blog bout how you had sex with your wife/husband AND your girlfriend/boyfriend today.

What are we teaching the younger generation here?! That it is ok to fuck around because it's your birthright? That it is ok for your boyfriend/girlfriend to fuck around behind your back because what you don't know, won't kill you? That monogamy is a thing of the past and polygamy is the right way to live an exciting life because you are only young once? That your worth is proven only by the number of trophies you've bagged aka the number of women you've shagged?

Singapore is still an asian country. We are still asians. We have many esteemed moral values and traditions we pride ourselves on. So why allow the continued erosion of our valuable morals?! We are always complaining how the behaviourism of youngsters today are worse than that of yesteryears. So why don't we start being good role models now for them to look up to? Spare a thought for the much younger and naive generation. Assuming that on the average, a 10 year old is computer-illiterate enough to know how to get online and surf the Internet. How many of you out there are willing to take the chance of having your kids stumble across such pictures and websites like C's blogs, and grow up having the notion that sex is no longer an act of sacredness and physical intimacy shared between two lovebirds anymore?!

After all these babbling, I am NOT trying to convince all of you to abstain from sexual activities. Neither am I trying to act all saintly. What I am trying to say here is that, try your darnest to be with only one sex partner at a time and at least have the decency to be ashamed that you aren't able to remain faithful to a partner at any one time. Plus, there's nothing to be proud of, not cool at all, to be attached and shagging someone else who is attached too.

There was once when I thought and acted like C, except minus the sex part. It was Bro who kinda knocked some sense into me. I am extremely thankful for that. I am also very thankful to my mother for incalcating, instilling and drilling in me the good o' Chinese values. And I am proud to stand firm in my principles and beliefs.

Top 13 types of women to avoid.. FOREVER

2006-02-08T23:21:00.000+08:00

My friend has got this on his blog. And so I took the honours and the hours to compile the list he has been looking for.

Top 13 Types of Women To Avoid

From Cambridge Dictionaries online, a woman is defined as an adult female human being.
From the Dictionary of Stephanie Dara, a woman may be one of the vilest creature on earth.

The Daddy's Girl

This is the type of girl who is potentially dangerous/hazardous to either the mental or physical health or both, and even more so if she belongs with the Mafia with big guns. She loves to bring out Daddy's name whenever she feels threatened or unhappy. Ever watched Meet The Parents? Daddy would warn her boyfriend to bring her home by 10pm on every date or threaten to kick the boyfriend's ass if the latter ever made her baby girl cry. Daddy 'will be watching you'! This may also be the kind of girl who will never grow up. Otherwise known as The Spoilt Brat, she expects to be excessively pampered.

Damage factor: 4/10 for a typical Daddy; 9/10 for a Mafia Daddy

The Dominatrix

No whips or tight black leather yet, you perverse lil sick shit! Rather, this lady has got an ego the size of Texas. She is very dominant in all areas of life and is always adamant on having her way and never fail to have the first and final say in all matters. Extremely opinionated and vocal, she will never hesitate to put down her Significant Other in public or in front of others. She may also be a domineering superior or a super careerwoman who drives her subordinates like slaves. You are merely her property.

Damage factor: 7/10

The Whiner

Just as the name implies, this girl is the kind who gripe, grouse, grumble, moan, sob, wail, whimper, whinge, howl and the list goes on. If such a girl is attached, she will most probably come running to her next best guy friend whenever she has got relationship problems. She would pour out all her troubles to you and cry on your shoulder. Also, this girl will remember your existence only when she is unhappy, troubled or lonely. So if such a thing has happened to you before, remember this girl will always just squeeze every ounce of sympathy she can get out of you.

Damage factor: 6/10

The Player

This is equivalent to the female version of The Flirt. This girl may have her arms around a different guy's every other week. Sick of sticking to routines, she like varieties. She could also be a potential heartbreaker and has no qualms 'bout hurting your feelings. She has a glib tongue and the gift of the gap to inflate your ego as big as you like. She has a built-in radar which is able to detect any two-legged human with a penis within a 5km radius or more. She is often insecure/incomplete without the company of a male. Committment is not in her dictionary.

Damage factor: 8/10

The Spendthrift

Please keep all your monetary assets and heart under lock and key when you meet this type. You can identify this type by the way she spends her money - output > input. She likes and dons on only the best - Gucci, Louis Vitton, Chanel, Versace, etc. In addition, this girl will waste no time in splurging all your money on whatever she likes, whenever she wants. She may also be the materialistic type, who only compares your worth to the amount of money you have in your bank. Like a leech, this girl requires high maintenance and will cling onto you until she had her fill and only leave you when you are penniless.

Damage Factor: 10/10

The Marriage/Relationship Wrecker

More commonly known as The Vixen or The Third Party, please steer clear of this breed. This breed is usually attracted to attached/married men like bees to honey. She firmly believes that she is able to get the love she always wanted from a man who loves someone else. Utterly bent on elbowing her way into a perfectly happy relationship to lodge herself between a couple, they would stop at nothing to get what they want. But I don't really blame some men for falling into her clutches, as the number of tricks this woman has up her sleeves are more than the number of stars there are in the sky.

Damage factor: 9/10

The Complaint Queen

She is never happy with anything. Her favourite hobby? You guessed it! Filing complaints, one after another, is her forte. Her sources of complaint range from late bus drivers and lazy colleagues to soups that are too salty. She would also love to threaten to slap you with a legal suit. She grumbles 'bout everything - her life, her work, her friends, etc. If ever you should meet her, you would end up with a sore ear and a saliva-drenched face. Anyway, her bark is worse than her bite.

Damage factor: 3/10

The Slut

Ever heard of the old saying about the difference between a bitch and a slut? A bitch sleeps with everyone but you whereas a slut sleeps with everyone and you. This breed of woman has an itch down under and the only cure for it is for her to sleep around with anything with a penis. She has had multiple sex partners and does not believe in monogamy or emotional involvement. Frequenting pubs, she is unable to stay faithful. She is also a walking time-bomb as she may be harbouring tons of sexually transmitted diseases (STDs) in her, or may even be HIV-positive. So what if she has always been using contraceptives? Condoms only reduce the risk of infection but given her long and sexually active history, which condoms can withstand the test of time/viruses?!

Damage factor: 10/10

The Two-Faced Bitch

This girl leads a double lifestyle and might even be diagnosed as having mild schizophrenia. She may attribute her insincere behaviour to mood swings. She also owns a very exquisite weapon known as The Mask. The Mask enables her to be a totally different person once she dons it on. She hides behind many a facade. She can act all sugar and spice and everything nice in front of someone she dislikes too; saying unpleasant things about you to other people while seeming pleasant when she is with you. She can say one thing and the next moment, she would feign amnesia and deny having said anything of that sort.

Damage factor: 7/10

The Backstabber

This is a very common type, found in almost all climates and terrains. She also exists in many forms - as your 'friend', your schoolmate or your colleague. Her strategy: Befriend you initially so as to gain your trust. Once she has gotten your trust, she has got you eating out of her hands. Then she will proceed to reap whatever benefits she can from you before badmouthing you or smearing your reputation behind your back. Unfortunately, you'll only find out when it's too late and the damage is done.

Damage factor: 8/10

The Friend-Snatcher

If you are a very popular someone with wide social contacts, she will not hesitate to leech onto you and is extremely skilled at using you as a stepping stone to get to make friends. She is actually a subtle combination of The Two-Faced Bitch and The Backstabber. Hence, using the strategy of The Backstabber, she will slowly take over your place and be in the limelight. And after it all, she might act somewhat like The Two-Faced Bitch and pretend to be nice to you still, all the while lurking in the shadows, awaiting for more chances to snatch more friends away from you.

Damage factor: 5/10

The Plastic Barbie

Need I explain any further? This is ~~Dawn Yang/Yeo~~ the girl who had gone under the knife or hides herself under multiple layers of make-up just to look good/attract the opposite gender. Rhinoplasty, liposuction, tummy-tuck, breast augumentation, double-eyelids, facelift, botox, blah blah blah blah blah. But hey, who could resist a beauty, man-made or not? Well, you should try your best to resist this one, unless you want her nose to drop off and fall into your bowl of soup; crush against her chest too hard and her implants have the tendency to burst and leak, leading to health hazard and a possible murder charge against you.

Damage factor: 7/10

The Rumour Monger

Also widely known as The Gossipmonger or The Broadcaster, she has too much time on her hands. Her most powerful weapon is her mouth. She also has a wild imagination and tends to dabble in fantasy more than reality. Spinning tales, exaggerating facts and then spreading them are what she does best. Identifying her is a breeze, as she is always the one talking and providing information about others in a group.

Damage factor: 6/10

These are only a handful of the kind of women to avoid. There are more out there. However, I also believe there are good women out there too. If only you know where to look. Keep your eyes and ears open.

My Travel Profile

2006-02-07T13:36:00.000+08:00

Your travel type: Party Animal

The Party Animal always wears sunglasses during his vacation. He likes a good hotel, with a swimming pool and room service. A couple of drinks at night, maybe see a show, maybe roll the dice, that's the way to spend the evening.

Culture? A museum? The others can go while the Party Animal stays in bed. You'll find him by the side of the pool when you get back with a martini to get rid of the hangover.

top destinations:

Las Vegas
Acapulco
Tahiti

stay away from:

Cairo
Ciudad Perdida
Darien Gap

get your own travel profile

Of sperms and the menstrual cycle

2006-02-05T23:09:00.000+08:00

Was chatting with Adrian on MSN messenger in the afternoon and the conversation somehow went like this...

Adrian: So you don't go swimming or jogging anymore ah?

Me: Ah.. I got my period, how to swim or jog?

Adrian: Having period, cannot jog meh?

Me: Cannot, not safe. Supposedly will add a lil trauma to the uterus at this delicate period of time.

Adrian: Huh?

Then, I realised that Adrian has no idea what menstruation really is. And most probably, so does 70% of the male population and 20% of the female population. These people see menstruation as just a bloody mess that women pass out of their bodies every month. They would also link it to PMS - Pre-Menstrual Syndrome, which turns even the sweetest, cutest lady into a terrifying orgish creature.

And so, I proceeded to give Adrian a brief lesson, from a scientific point of view, what menstruation really is. Firstly, let's get acquainted with some female sexual reproductive organs.

So what goes on in the above when menstruation sets in? There are actually 2 cycles in menstruation - The Ovarian Cycle and The Uterine Cycle. What we are looking at here mainly is The Uterine Cycle. Notice that blue-shaded region labelled as the endometrium, aka uterine lining? The uterine lining is a thin layer of tissue which will grow and thicken as it nears ovulation (the release of the egg from the ovary into the fallopian tube and into the uterine cavity). Its growth and maintenence are triggered by two female sex hormones known as progesterone and oestrogen.

So when the egg is released and meets with a sperm, it will be fertilised and form a zygote, and then into an embryo which will then proceed to embed itself into the thick spongy uterine lining. Tada! Pregnancy occurs! Then again, if the egg is released and does not meet with any sperm, it will stay in the cavity for at most a day. Then the uterine lining will be shed and disintegrate together with the unfertilised egg and some mucus, and passed out through the vagina as the usual bloody mess we see. And ladies, it is normal to pass out pieces of blood clots during menses because these blood clots are actually pieces of the shed off uterine lining.

After finishing explaining to Adrian, he said he felt like a little student who just had a sex education lesson from a teacher. Haha... So like I said, when the uterine lining is shed during menses, the uterus is pretty fragile and delicate, and so I would prefer to keep sports to a minimum during that time of the month.

*****

Good news for y'all men out there. Studies have shown that abstinence from sex or masturbation is detrimental to the health.

" "The perception is that if a man abstains for a long time, he'll improve his fertility," he says. "That's true to a point - five days - but beyond that, things start to go downhill a bit.

"The longer the sperm hang around in the male reproductive tract, they begin to degenerate, die, and release free radicals, which will then damage other sperm. It's a chain reaction - the fresh sperm coming down the tubes enter an environment of free radicals and get damaged."

In the next three months, not just will power will be tested. There are other physiological effects outside of fertility. "

For the full report, turn to page L10 of today's The Sunday Times Lifestyle section - Better Laid Than Never.

People dressed as sperm run across a road during a campaign promoting the use of condoms in Colombia. Yeah! Keep the sperm moving! It's good for you.

So go ahead, guys! You've got another good reason to masturbate/make love. Go wank! Go jerk off! Go make more babies! Go have protected sex! Ermm... I don't really approve the idea of casual sex, hence the tiny font. *cringes*

Something to chew on

2006-02-02T21:51:00.000+08:00

Able to make use of your tongue to tie a cherry stalk into a knot? That is so passe. Try making use of your tongue to make a baby abalone look like this...

3 gold ingots sitting in a row... 1 was eaten, 2 more to go... 2 gold ingots sitting in a row... 1 more eaten, 1 more to go... 1 gold ingot sitting all alone... Finally eaten, left no more...

*****

Was reading today's The Straits Times - Urban and came across an article - Lonely Hearts Club, done as a Valentine's Day Special. Those of you who have a copy, you can turn to page 8 and start reading the interviews they did on 4 single male reporters.

The Love Retiree reminds me of me.
The Hold Out reminds me of Bro - Alex.
The Nice SNAG reminds me of Victor.
The Busy Guy is the one whom I most probably can relate to, the kind of man that I'd most probably be attracted to and the one whose words I'm gonna comment on.

"Deep inside all of us is a void that yearns to be filled by someone special. If that void remains empty, we fill it with other things."

In my case, I fill it with work, school, hanging out with friends and pampering myself with whatever little luxuries that my money can buy. People have asked me why do I bury myself so deep under tons of workload and push myself so hard. And I always reply that it is because I have no other commitments to lavish my attention on, so might as well make hay while the sun shines. Thus I fill my void with money-making and scaling to great heights.

But yeah, I'm still looking for that special someone who's big enough to fill and brighten up that dark empty void in me. Any interested applicants? *grins*

*****

A cause for celebration - my period is finally here! After a break of 2 months, I'm euphoric to see that spot of red on the sanitary pad and get a whiff of that sickly sweet smell of blood at last. AAaaahhhh... Man, I feel like a woman!

Reunion Dinner Part 3?!

2006-02-01T22:41:00.000+08:00

Erm.. I hope you already had something to eat before reading this post. And even if you are reading this post on an empty stomach, please make sure you have something/someone beside you for you to sink your teeth into should you feel a strong urge.

Here goes nothing...

Warning! The pictures below may cause much discomfort and perhaps, traumatise the weak and starved.

Feast your eyes. Wow!

Ermm... I see drool coming out of your mouth. Should I stop? No? Ok...

Clockwise from centre: Fried crispy wontons, stir-fried kangkong, stewed pork and black fungus and stir-fried vegetables with fresh scallops.

Ermm... Is that your stomach growling that I'm hearing? You sure you can handle the next picture? Really? Ok...

Clockwise from bottom left: fresh clams cooked in spicy sauce with onions, stewed pork with black fungus, stir-fried kang kong, a big big bowl of good authentic sharks fin.

OMFG! Are you ok?! You're spasming!!! Don't die on me, please?! Someone call for an ambulance? No?! You just need to be sent to the nearest restaurant as soon as possible? Ok ok!!! Someone get that poor kid what he wants NOW!

*****

Ok! Enough nonsense! Back to serious stuff. Those pictures were taken during last night's dinner at my aunt's place. She's a great cook ok! She whips up finger-licking good dishes and can bake well too and her three daughters have inherited her skills. I want to learn from her since it has always been said that the way to a guy's heart is through his gut.

Now I know what I've been doing wrong.

I've been punching a guy in his gut just to get to his heart and slice it open.

Umm... Ouch?

Chinese New Year 2006

2006-01-31T11:21:00.000+08:00

First of all, I would like to wish everyone a very...

Happy and Prosperous Lunar New Year!!!

Was too busy visiting relatives and hanging out with em', hence the lack of updates and photos. My apologies. Haha.. But this CNY is crappy!!! And not because of just one reason.

1) I'm freaking sick again. Mommy too. Goddamn flu bug going around!

2) I've got assignments to hand in the moment school reopens, which is tomorrow, a quiz tomorrow too and a test on Friday. Goddamn the lecturers!

3) I got scolded by Mom on the 1st day of the Lunar New Year cos' I was too vain, taking too long a time to bathe, makeup and get ready for visiting. Plus the strap of my heels broke while walking halfway. Goddamn my shoes!

4) My sister got two $50 angbaos, while I only got one. ~~Now I'm $38 away from $300.~~ Goddamn the people who made themselves absent to avoid giving out angbaos!

5) The dreaded question was finally popped again and again. "How? Got boyfriend already?" Goddamn Fate!

Haha.. I know I shouldn't be cussing so much during CNY period. So anyway, let me take you through what happened the past 3 days.

Reunion Dinner on Saturday 28th Jan

Aaahh... We had a simple but heartwarming dinner with Grandpa. This reunion dinner was the second one. Remember the first one ? After dinner, we went home so that my parents could get ready for the traditional Chinese rituals and prayers. While us kids, I mean my sister and I, just sat down to watch television. Ummm.. I slept at 3am that day as the eve of the Lunar New Year, also known as Chu Xi, symbolises longevity for the elders. That means, children are allowed to sleep as late as possible because that would ensure longevity for their parents. I loved Chu Xi Ye (night of the Lunar New Year Eve) since I was a kid, cos' it meant I could stay up real late and watch television!

1st Day of the Lunar New Year, Da Nian Chu Yi on 29th Jan

I woke up at 11am. Haha.... Took 2 hours to have a heavy breakfast, bathe and makeup. Rushed over to my paternal Grandpa's place to bai nian first. Got a scolding from Mommy for being horribly late. Then broke the strap of my heels while on the way to my maternal Grandpa's house. Mommy went home to get me another pair of shoes and when we finally reached my maternal Grandpa's place, it was 2.30pm. Meals, especially breakfast and lunch, on Chu Yi was a big thing. There was loads of food wherever we went. Roast duck, roast chicken, stewed pork, soup, vegetable stew, sweet soup, bak kwa aka BBQ pork, candies, cookies, etc. Truckloads of good food and a handful of angbaos! Reached home at 6pm and everyone was dead tired. I took a 2-hour nap and woke up at 9pm. Watched television as I had dinner. Slept at 3.15am that night.

2nd Day of the Lunar New Year, Da Nian Chu Er on 30th Jan

Woke up at 11am again. Took the same freakin 2 hours to go through the same freakin routine. Then took my time to sashay over to my paternal Grandpa's house. Good to see my aunts and cousins again. I'm very much closer to my paternal family than my maternal's. So yar, got another couple of angbaos and a little argument going on. BRRrrrr... Not to forget, my aunts were overly eager to introduce guys to me, eg. a 33 year old doctor. UMmmmm... Anyway, we also visited our Granduncle that same evening.

3rd Day of the Lunar New Year, Da Nian Chu San on 31st Jan

I am supposed to be finishing my assignments and also finish studying for my quiz/test today. But I'm also supposed to be going out later in the evening with my cousins. Sigh... But we have not decided on a place to go yet. Let me fret over that now.

In the meantime, may all of us...

Huat Huat Huat!!!

Kung Hei Fat Choi!

Xin Ni Kuai Lok!

Personality Quiz

2006-01-26T23:28:00.000+08:00

Click here to view my house

Based on your drawing and the 10 answers you gave this is a summary of your personality:
Your house tells the world that you ought to be a leader. You are a freedom lover and a strong person. You will avoid being alone and seek the company of others whenever possible. You love excitement and create it wherever you go. You are very tidy person. There's nothing wrong with that because you're pretty popular among friends. Your life is always full of changes.

You will avoid being alone and seek the company of others whenever possible. You love excitement and create it wherever you go. You have a strong personality and you like to command, influence and control people.

You added a flower into your drawing. The flower signifies that you long for love. It also safe to say that others don't see you as a flirt. You are self-confident and happy with your life.

True? Only 95% of it. Hiak hiak hiak...

Depressing...

2006-01-23T00:53:00.000+08:00

I lack tact.

I lack sensitivity.

I lack foresight.

The fact that this girl, Charlette, has said this and that , struck a chord in me, deeply.

Below I have included some excerpts from the links which I'm referring to.

"Friends. Makes me wonder why should I bother. I make an effort to keep in touch with people coz I dun wanna lose them as friends. An occassional meet up every/other month to catch up on each other's lives. Yet no one is co-operating. When I ask to meet this week, they say they are busy. When I ask in advance, they say cannot confirm. Can't you just set that evening free then? I am not asking for a whole day, I am only asking for a dinner. Now most of you should know I am as free as a bird. I don't really wanna arrange gatherings coz no one co-operates. But since I am so free, I decided to be nice. Yet no one appreciates. Can you blardie tell me your availability?! And remember our date to meet?! They tell me they didn't know it's confirmed or they forgot and have another appointment. THANKS LOR! Or I get some other silly reasons as to why people cannot make it. I don't know why I'm so bothered. Maybe my friends don't really care. Why should I? I guess it just boils down to one word, Priority, and I am not high up on that list of theirs. I shall not bother & not initiate meetings anymore. And I shall see a year down the road, how many friends I have left."

"I deceive myself that my friends are all busy with spring cleaning and CNY shopping...(and not having fun w/o me). It's so true. The older you get, the less friends you have. Good old friends drift away. New ones are mere acquaintances. I look like I have a lot of friends but it's all a farce. A farce. Love and friendship are actually very alike. There must be constant communication, sharing of weal and woe, sharing of troubles and laughter, knowing each other's lives, knowing the intimate details, being emotionally connected. Why is it that some of my friends now feel like strangers? Aaargh. If they don't bother, why should I?!"

Finally, I have gotten the closure I needed. And dare I say I've understood and seen clearly through you for who and what you are?

Yes.

Bored...

2006-01-22T15:41:00.000+08:00

Went swimming with Sapph and her boyfriend this morning. But they were late. Humpf! Anyway, as I was walking to one of the seats beside the poolside, a white spotted and black, orange butterfly flew into my path and settled comfortably on my shin! I froze, not daring to move or even breathe. I stood in the middle of the walkway like an idiot for a minute, mumbling like a fool at the butterfly, wishing for it to fly away. But it just wouldn't budge. In the end, I decided to just walk with an awkward limp to one of the seats and sat down. Throughout the journey, the butterfly remained as stubborn as I am.

It accompanied me as I waited for Sapph and her boyfriend. All the while, I hoped that it wouldn't crawl anymore higher on my short stumpy leg. Then I decided that the butterfly must be a male one since it chose such a position on my leg that would allow him to have a peep at what was under my shorts. When I was finally convinced that the butterfly wasn't going anywhere, I whipped out my camera phone and snapped a picture of it.

Camwhore! The butterfly is a camwhore!

Lo and behold! A few seconds after the picture was taken, the butterfly flew off. The butterfly just wants its photo to be taken and put up on my blog! Just kidding. I think it has just came out from a cocoon and was trying to find a suitable rest place for it to dry and harden its wings before taking flight. Somehow, it has mistaken my leg as a tree trunk. Muahahhaa!!!

Soon after the butterfly flew off, I saw Sapph and boyfriend approaching me. Finally met up with her. Hoho... Out of the three of us, she was the only one who was still as slim and pretty. Her boyfriend and I have each grown pudgy or should I say, pudgier. She said my pudginess is obvious around my face and arms, but I feel that my waistline has expanded too. *cries*

So I passed Sapph her long-overdue Christmas present and she was so happy! She kinda reminded me to start my jogging routine again before successfully persuaded me to take off my shirt and go into the water in my bikini top and shorts.

Of course, we always had our Girl Talk first before swimming. So her boyfriend grabbed the float and rushed off like a little boy, who has been given a lollipop, into the water. With her boyfriend aside, we started our verbal diarrheoa, pouring out our troubles and the nitty gritty stuffs that are going on in our lives. Sapph also commented that Bro and I are too philosophical and we mindfuck too much. Haha... The dark cloud/aura around me was kinda lifted and a little light was once again injected into me.

We tanned as we talked, laughing now and then to disperse some of the seriousness in our conversation. Then we started getting restless and went into the water eagerly. I left her for a while to spend some time with her boyfriend while I swam around on my own. Hiak Hiak Hiak! Suddenly I heard a scream and saw Sapph's boyfriend ducking Sapph underwater. I burst out laughing when she came out of the water, sputtering and cursing.

So we swam around somemore before getting up and heading for the showers. Afterwhich, we bade each other goodbye, and not before we promised each other to meet up more often despite our busy schedules.

*****

I have since learnt to give my thanks for small get- togethers like this. With friends like these, I should be content and not ask for more. I already have the best! *winks*

By the way, I think iGallop, that Osim machine, should be given another name like iHump. Sounds more apt, don't you think? Bwahahha!! Someone please get me an iHump please?

Sick.... Again?

2006-01-19T21:13:00.000+08:00

AAAaahhh CHhheeee!

Ah Chee! Ah Chee! Ah Chee!

Ermm... Most people usually go ahchoo! But, that's how I sneeze and I've been sneezing the whole day today. Runny nose... Blocked nose... Breathing through the mouth... That sucks! All thanks to those ~~ungentlemanly~~ brainless-blind men yesterday for allowing me to stand in the rain without an umbrella. Bah!

So anyway, I only had a 2-hour tutorial in the morning today. And goodness, I love this elderly 2nd bio tutor of mine already! He looks, talks and act funny. A very warm, friendly and passionate man who has got a lot of tricks up his sleeves. And I mean it! He is a part-time magician. OOoooh... He loves to perform magic tricks and showed us three tricks today after proper lessons.

Then for one of the magic tricks, he suddenly unbuttoned his shirt. All of us were just sitting there with our mouths agape in confusion/anticipation and just holding our breaths, wondering what the hell was he doing. I kinda closed my eyes a lil, peeping through the narrow slits, not daring to look at him 'undress'. Then when we realised he was just revealing part of the magic trick to us, all of us broke the tension in the air and roared with laughter! Wahahhaa!!! I laughed till I was rocking on my side and my face turned really red.

Then I went to Jurong Point which was just nearby. Mommy wasn't going to prepare lunch, so I went to Liberty Market and got some bread from the bakery there. The bread there is heavenly!!! Soft and over-stuffed with yummy and healthy fillings. Too bad I was too hungry and devoured all of them without taking any pictures to show.

Ooops! Mom's nagging at me to go have my dinner.
Till tomorrow, this is Steph, signing out!

Busy as a Bee

2006-01-18T22:21:00.000+08:00

My apologies for the lack of updates. Been busy the past couple of days with piles of tutorials, tons of assignments, quizzes and tests. This sem will be short, hence the tight schedule and deadlines. Also have been catching up on the much needed rest/sleep cos all the late nights are starting to take a toil on my body. Will be sleeping early again tonight. Hehe...

Anyway, you know how one's eyes would seem glazed and still when one is daydreaming? Yar, that was what my eyes looked like during maths tutorial today. My another maths module tutor caught me daydreaming this morning. Haha... Fortunately, I was only in a half stupor, so I still managed to answer his question correctly. Oh, give credits to my intelligence too lah.

I had lunch with Lao Jie, Yvonne, today. It was a coincidental meeting. I was walking around Jurong Point aimlessly after school. Then decided to buy some sushi for lunch. She came up from behind me and gave me a friendly shove. Haha.. This is Fate! Two sisters connected through telepathy and on the same wavelength. Hoho... Then we went into Fiesta, a japanese restaurant, for somemore sushi. Lao Jie commented on how listless and out-of-sorts I looked as if there was this dark aura lingering above me. Oh well... Stress, unbalanced diet, lack of exercise, too little sleep/rest, etc.

Then we talked bout some personal issues over lunch while waiting for her sister, niece and brother to join us. I couldn't have asked for a better confidante (other than Bro and Sapph). Then we went shopping after lunch with her siblings and niece. Lil Dana fell asleep halfway during the shopping trip. SOOooo cute ok!

Then it rained. No, it poured to be exact! I was caught in the bloody rain and the guys around me didn't even offer to share their umbrellas. Was half-soaked in the rain, the raindrops pelting down hard on me. Good thing I had my jacket on. All walked off so fast under the umbrellas they were holding. Goddamn it! If my boyfriend were to offer to share his umbrella or offer his umbrella to an umbrella-less lady, I would be very proud of him. But that is only allowed if I'm with him and have an extra umbrella or I'm not around at all to see his 'gentleman' act. Muahahhaa!!!

AAaaahhh... I love the cool night air.

Reunion Dinner Part 1

2006-01-15T22:59:00.000+08:00

"Pang Guang (Peehole), Rong Guang (cousin's name), Sha Sha fen bu qing chu (Blur Queen can't differentiate between the two) ..." This just came to my head while I was glancing around the dining tables and spotted this asshole cousin whom I dislike a lot. And I grinned before whispering into the ear of my another cousin, Madeline. She giggled and then passed the joke on to my sister, who then passed it on to one of my aunts. We were all giggling like fools.

Haha... Reunion dinner was brought forward 2 weeks early to tonight. This reunion dinner included everyone on my dad' side, though not everyone was present. There were my grandpa, 7 aunts, 1 uncle, 7 cousins, my parents and my sister all seated at 2 tables. My grandma had passed away 6 years ago, but I still missed her very much. Just last night, I dreamt bout' the day I was called away from school to meet my Granny one last time before she passed away. Thinking bout' it now still brings tears to my eyes, but at least she was freed from her suffering.

Oh well... Mommy did 90% of the preparation work. Mommy rocks! Before dinner officially started, Madeline and I took the hotdogs back into the kitchen to 'decorate' them.

Traditional steamboat for reunion dinner! Yummy!

A closer look, what is this weird octopus/flower-looking thing?!

What is this in my bowl?! Octopus?! Flower?!

It is a HOTDOG! Madeline calls this an octo-hotdog!

I chewed off its 'legs'! Muahahaha!!!

Yup! So this was what Madeline and I were doing to the hotdogs in the kitchen. Madeline suggested that we slit the hotdogs halfway longitudinally into four parts, so that when it cooks, the four parts will split open and curl up to look like an octopus! So smart yar? Anyway, it was a big hit with everyone cos' everyone finished the hotdogs in 2 hours!

Dinner was very good and the company was even better!

*****

So yar, I said I would blog bout' this bitch right? Just a quickie bout' her, ok? Anyway, in front of the whole project group, she would be acting all so polite and nice to me, as if she's such a friendly girl. But when she's alone with me or with me and 1 or 2 other girls, she would cast evil glances at me, glare at me, roll her eyes at me, and even speak in those impatient 'duh' tone when she talks to me. Honestly, I've never offended her at all, so why all these actions? What exactly is her problem?! So I came up with 2 highly possible reasons why she dislikes me a lot.

1) ~~Bitch~~ Asswipe is jealous of my talents and of me because I am smart and popular among my peers in the project group and she is crap.

2) ~~Bitch~~ Asswipe hates my guts, my mouth, my unorthodox principles and beliefs.

So, she dislikes me. That's totally fine with me because the feeling's mutual. I probably would try to be nicer to her and make her my friend, but since she's got such a lousy personality with a repulsive face and a deep ugly voice to match, I would not bother myself. Sheesh...

Belle thinks I'm paranoid and am reading too much into things.

But I'm 101% sure that Bitch gave me the ugly eye in the library the other day. *nods head fervantly*

*****

Bro has moved.

Chen Chuan's moving.

Jon's going to Australia for studies.

Humpf! Bah!

Tired leh...

2006-01-13T22:36:00.000+08:00

"Stephanie, you look very tired today."

Said my concerned math tutor at school just now.

Oh? Who wouldn't when there're lessons from the ungodly hour of 8.30am all the way to 5.30pm with only a 2 hour break in between?

And who only had 5 hours of sleep the night before, rushing out my tutorials while multi-tasking on the computer and watching the television.

Oops.. Haha...

I didn't know the word 'LETHARGY' was written all over my face until my coursemates said I was frowning half the time and my eyes kept narrowing into slits.

Plus I was in a stupor now and then.

Then when I got home at around 8.30pm, I went to the toilet to wash up after a long day. When I looked into the mirror, HOLY WACKOMOLEY!

I saw a small pair of panda eyes looking back at me! My dark eye rings were sooooo glaring, it's shocking! Scary ok.. I looked like a zombie.

Oh well, will catch up on my sleep and rest this weekend. Got a pounding headache now. Oh yar, damn those mozzies! Been feasting on me ever since the rainy season lightened up.

Die, mozzies! Die!!!

FREAKY!

2006-01-12T16:51:00.000+08:00

This is freaky.

The Life!Horoscopes in The Straits Times's Life! section is spot-on.

Well, at least for my case.

" Libra
It's time to get centred so that you can get through this rough patch. You've made a brave decision and tried to change things for the better. They will improve, it's just the adjusting that's rocky now."

Totally hit bull's eye on what's happening in my life now. Umm...

Anyway, was coming home today when I saw 4 foreign workers sitting on the benches at the sheltered walkway. There was this heavy drizzle and they were taking a break from work at a nearby construction site. So before I stepped into the sheltered walkway, I took my big black jacket and covered up my chest, and adjusted my backpack. Then I walked through the walkway as quickly as possible, but couldn't shake off that irky feeling that their eyes were stripping me naked and the sight of their leering laughs/smiles is just repulsive.

*****

Ad from today's The Straits Times. Lingerie Galore! You like? I like!!!

Ohmifuckingosh! John Little is having this Triumph lingerie promotion/sale! Yay! Just what I needed to get ready for Chinese New Year which is just round the corner. I really need to get new brassieres and underwear. Promotion/sale till 18th January 2006 ok. 1 more week to go.

I simply love the rainy weather. Pure bliss... Aaahh...

Results

2006-01-11T20:07:00.000+08:00

Ding Ding Ding Ding! Round 1.

Things did not turn out the way I hoped it would. Not only did things not take a turn for the better, it ended in a total flop. Disappointing and frustrating...

Just when I thought we had finally reached a consensus, more unhappy things were raked up from the past and caused quite a stir. And I'm sorry things had to come to such an abrupt end because I was already 1 hour late and had to rush off.

Yet, I did not regret just walking off like that because as much as I would have loved to stay back, I felt that we all needed to cool down. I will reflect on all that had been said during The Talk and also look into my faults that were brought up. The Talk had drained me emotionally and I am having a pounding headache now.

In the course of going through this rough patch which was just one of many in Life, I would like to take this opportunity to show my appreciation and thanks to these wonderful people who have came into my unglam life and stayed on.

Alex - Bro, what will I ever do/be without you?! Probably rotting six feet under. Thanks for standing by me for all these years and having faith in me. Thanks for giving me that lecture and coming clean with me that few nights ago. You will always have my due respect and adoration. *salutes*

Chen Chuan - Babe, I think you've spoilt me rotten. Thanks so much for aiding me through the bad times and talking sense into me when others couldn't get through to me. Thanks for showering me with patience and understanding through these years.

Nora - Woman ah woman, thanks for the much needed listening ear at times like this. Thanks for sharing valuable insights bout Life. Thanks for taking me in hand and keeping my feet firm on the ground when I get too caught up in myself.

Jon - Remember, Jesus loves your ass. Haha... Thanks for believing in me and offering a listening ear. Thanks also for all the crappy jokes and teasing. You never fail to crack me up lah. Just don't make me lose my sanity can?

Yvonne - Lao jie!!! I love Dana too, can I be her Godaunt? Thank you for treating me as part of your family. Thank you for sharing so much joy and bringing so much light into my darkness.

Rina - I love your daughter to bits! Thanks for the delightful company at work. Looking forward to more lunch/dinner dates with you and Nora.

Xiao mei - Hey gurl, thanks for standing up for me in trying times. Sisters rock!

Mom - Mommy, I love you!!! Thanks for taking so much crap from me and yet never once did you gave up on me. Thanks also for being the guiding light. Mommy mommy mommy... *muacks*

To the rest whom I might have missed out - Thank you all! My life would not have been complete if not for you.

No worries, folks. I will get through this.

Madness

2006-01-10T11:44:00.000+08:00

Goodness..

It's only the 2nd week of school and I'm already bombarded with tons of assignments and deadlines to meet. Some of the assignments seem really tough. But I'm not gonna back down. Rar!!!

It's only the 2nd week of school and things are not going well between me and some friends. That sucks. Sucks even more when these friends happen to be close friends in school.

P.S: I have decided to take back my previous post as there has already been enough misunderstanding among us. I can't wait for The Talk tomorrow. I can't wait to hear what there is to be said in my face. And I can't wait to clear the air.

Despicable is when my words have been twisted and facts are distorted.

Scary is when voodoo is done behind a smiley facade.

Disappointment is when actions differ from words.

Will blog tomorrow night and let y'all know the results of The Talk.

Friends or foe?

2006-01-08T13:11:00.000+08:00

Friends are not toys.

You understand what that means? No?
When SPCA's advertisement says that pets are not toys, do you now have an idea what I've been trying to say?

Perhaps when we have learnt to put ourselves in the shoes/skins of others and see the world through their eyes, will we understand the plight others are going through.

Then again, noone's indispensable.

Have you ever felt like you're so alone, although you're surrounded by friends?

Well, I have... Countless times...

I'm a very sensitive person, too sensitive for my own good. Because of that, whatever emotions you or I feel, however tiny they may be, get amplified ten times when they run through me. To you, whatever thoughts or feelings I have may be insignificant. To me, they matter a great deal because it made me who I am today.

Yet, I have lost the ability to feel sympathetic towards others. Bro felt that I've forgotten how to be sympathetic, and he blames himself for not trying and letting me slip by. Truth be told, I've lost a big part of me 4 years ago, and some more as the years pass. In short, I've lost myself.

Why am I writing all these down here?!

Anyway, I've further proof that I will be a hazard on the road should I ever decide to drive. Other than the go-kart accident, this happened to me sporadically. It happened again yesterday.

Me: Uncle, please turn 'zuo' (left) in front.

Cabbie: This junction is it?

Me: Uh.. No, turn 'zuo'. 'zuo', you know? *a little annoyed*

Cabbie: Oh, next junction huh?

Me: Yes.. *relieved*

At the next junction...

Cabbie proceeds to turn left.

Me: *shocked* Uncle Uncle! No no, turn 'zuo' leh.

Cabbie: Correct ah, not here meh?

Suddenly, you see a beam of light shine upon me.

Me: *realisation dawned upon me* Oh uncle, I meant 'you' (right). Please turn 'you' up ahead.

Cabbie: Ok... *amused*

I was left muttering 'Shit shit shit' at the backseat, and felt like the world's greatest fool.

See, I've totally lost it! When it comes to directions, I'd rather show with hand signals where I want to go. But asking me to say it out, takes a minute for my brain to translate the directions from english to chinese and vice versa. That one minute of inner translation can have deadly repercussions on the road, not to mention that I have a 90% chance of getting it wrong.

Steph = road hazard

Remember Me

2006-01-05T21:08:00.000+08:00

"If you read this, if your eyes are passing over this right now, even if we don't speak often, please post a comment at the tagboard with a memory of you and me. It can be anything you want, either good or bad or both. I promise not to come after you with my rolling pin, either way.

*****

When you're finished, post this little paragraph on your blog and be surprised (or mortified) about what people remember about you."

Quiz

2006-01-04T21:44:00.000+08:00

You Have a Choleric Temperament

You are a person of great enthusiasm - easily excited by many things.

Unsatisfied by the ordinary, you are reaching for an epic, extraordinary life.

You want the best. The best life. The best love. The best reputation.

You posses a sharp and keen intellect. Your mind is your primary weapon.

Strong willed, nothing can keep you down. Your energy can break down any wall.

You're an instantly passionate person - and this passion gives you an intoxicating power over others.

At your worst, you are a narcissist. Full of yourself and even proud of your faults.

Stubborn and opinionated, you know what you think is right. End of discussion.

A bit of a misanthrope, you often see others as weak, ignorant, and inferior.

What Temperment Are You?

How very true, how very true... I do indeed have a choleric temperament.

End of Hols

2006-01-02T23:04:00.000+08:00

This one's blurry..

This one's better...

I just made scrambled eggs with ham and sausage, you like? It's american-style scrambled eggs, not the usual asian kind we make at home. The scramble eggs which we usually make is cooked using as little cooking oil as possible and eggs that have been beaten. Anyway, here is how I make my american-style scrambled eggs.

Ingredients needed:
2 thin slices of picnic ham
2 medium-sized sausages
2 medium-sized eggs
2 tablespoons of milk (more if you want it lighter and fluffier)
a dash of salt and pepper for taste
1 tablespoon of butter

Instructions:
Step 1: Dice the slices of picnic ham and chop the sausages into thin slices.
Step 2: Cook the diced and chopped ham and sausages (without any oil) in a non-stick frying pan over medium heat for about 2 minutes and dish them up.
Step 3: Crack the eggs into a separate bowl and add in the milk, salt and pepper, then whisk the mixture.
Step 4: Melt the butter in the non-stick frying pan over medium-low heat.
Step 5: When all the butter has melted, pour in the egg mixture into the hot pan.
Step 6: After bottom and edges have begun to cook and solidify, scrape and lift the edges with a spatula and stir the the eggs continuously over the bottom of the pan.
Step 7: When the eggs are still a little runny, add in the ham and sausages and stir somemore till the eggs thicken.
Step 8: After the eggs have thicken, let it cook for another few seconds before dishing it up and it's ready to be served!

Easy ain't it?! I tell you, the buttery smell is heavenly. So absolutely sinful, so smooth. UMmmmm....

Haha... Watching Grey's Anatomy on Channel 5 while I tucked into my scrambled eggs. School starts tomorrow! Oh no.... Oh yes!!! Haha, I'm sick of staying at home with noone to talk to and laugh with. My cough is getting better, at least I'm not coughing every few seconds or so. I still need to take my antibiotics, cough mixture and another kinda pill for phlegm and clearing the airways.

I am looking forward to going back to school and hit the books! I am excited at the thoughts of what new challenges await me! Brain's been rusty for too long cos' I never once touched my books or lecture/tutorial notes at all during the hols. Muahahaha!!! Holidays are aplenty this beginning of the year. No worries, no worries at all. *winks*

Happy Going-Back-To-School tomorrow, everybody! *evil grin*

Happy New Year!

2006-01-01T00:01:00.000+08:00

Happy New Year!!!

Aaahhh... An old year has passed on, a new one has taken its place. Just like that, I've survived another year. I'm sure all of you would agree that the year 2005 has indeed been an eventful year. Natural disasters, terrorist attacks, bombings, sports records broken, personal achievements, etc. In the year 2005, I've experienced many joys and letdowns. I think the most memorable thing that happened to me in 2005 is that I've made many new friends. Nevertheless, in the last few days of the old year have also allowed me to open my eyes to see through the hearts and minds of certain people, thus reminding me not to let my guard down and just accept anyone into my heart.

Man is selfish by nature.

'Nuff said. Let's leave all the unhappiness behind and move on to create more joy! Now that 2006 is here, let's make some new year resolutions like every other normal human being.

a) Make good use of my spare time and earn more money.
b) Study harder and attain better results, a higher GPA score.
c) Keep fit and healthy. (Good health for all too)
d) Lose weight. (in all the right places of cos')
e) Get a proper boyfriend and be committed to a proper relationship.
f) Spend quality time with my family and besties.
g) Improve on my pathetic social life.
h) Be very careful in choosing friends.
i) Start planning a big bash for my 21st birthday.
j) Try to be more punctual for classes.
k) Enjoy life to the fullest.

I think that's all for now. Went to see the doctor today after 10 days of being sick. Haha.. Just took the medicine and cough syrup, feeling kinda drowsy now. Shall go ~~watch tv~~ rest now.

*flashes a Ms-World-Universe smile* World peace!