I was so bored since waking up at 12 plus today and so I've decided to come up with something to amuse myself and humour you people. The most famous list of all times since the release of the movie "How to Lose A Guy in 10 Days". Enjoy!

1. Give him a hard slap on the face and tell him that he is the scum of the earth and will never be good enough for you.

2. Insists that he goes under the knife to look like Jon Jonsson to look more presentable so that you would be proud to be seen together with him.

3. Pull an Angelina Jolie-Billy Bob Thornton on him. Tell him that the vial from you contains your menses blood and that the vial from him should contain blood from his penis. Then take out a penknife and proceed to take off his shorts.

4. Buy him seven scottish kilts of different colours and insists that he wears them out on your dates if he wants to be seen outside with you.

5. Bring a different family member with you everytime you go out on a date with him and pay more attention to your family member than to him.

6. Make him watch a movie about male homosexuals with you. Afterwhich, you tell him that you have always been a voyeur and would love to see him making out and getting butt-screwed by his best male buddy.

7. Tell him how much his male buddies/parents/siblings/family/relatives/car/dog/tastes in music and clothes/hairstyle/career/lifestyle/dancing/drinking sucks. Throw in another 101 insults and he'll throw you out of his house.

8. Write him a timetable and be adamant that he sticks to it cos' you will be calling him every hour to check on him.

9. Demand that he hands over the contacts of all his friends and the passwords/userids of all his accounts, from email accounts to bank accounts, to you. Afterwhich, you proceed to call up all his friends, claiming that they are all having an affair with your guy and making a huge ruckus over the phone. Then you go on to withdrawing money from his bank account and splurge on that $10k diamond ring you've been eyeing for a long time justifying this act as retail therapy for the huge conspiracy he planned with his friends against you.

10. If all the above steps fail, it's time for the finale. Confess that you're ready to take the relationship to another level and he will be ready to take off his pants. When he does, look directly at his dick and exclaim with utmost disgust: "OH MY FUCKING GOD! THAT HAS GOT TO BE THE SHORTEST, SMALLEST, UGLIEST THING I HAVE EVER SEEN!" Laugh hysterically and point at his penis as you watch it shrivel with the speed of lightning.



P.S: At first I wanted to title this list as "10 ways to get that asshole off your back". But then I realised that the only way to do that is through plastic surgery. Sounds so horribly wrong. That is, if you get what I mean.